Mixed signals

[Michelle The Rose]

So, I've been going to this place of business for a number of years and one of the employees has been sending me signals suggesting she's interested. For years this has been happening. The signals are so clear, one of her co-workers once remarked upon my entry into the building "It's your favorite person!" This remark was prompted by her apparent jubilation at my arrival. Her jubilation was initially stymied when she thought I wasn't going to look at her, when I did; her face lit up bright enough to rival the sun. 

I had thought I was imagining it, but her co-workers remark made me realize that it wasn't just me seeing these signals. So, after a bit I mustered up the courage to ask her out. And she rejected me. I was puzzled, but I accepted it thinking maybe she's just one of those people who treats everyone like their her favorite person. 

Moved on...

And then, a year later, I catch her looking at me. And not in the usual way. When I catch her, she quickly averts her gaze. She may not want to inadvertently send the wrong signal, I guess. But I've caught her literally looking at me out of the corner of her eye. Like trying to look at me, but not looking like she's looking at me. She's trying to do it on the DL.  She does the quick head nod and moves along. None of her other co-workers looks at me like that, I've had enough women interested in me to know when it's happening. She caught me looking at her the other day and she almost jumped into the ceiling! 

Maybe she's trying to catch me looking? 

I don't know... 

I am taking her rejection as a definitive answer and I have no intention of pursuing it. No means no, right? I just can't figure out her odd attention to me. None of her co-workers even looks in my direction. But she makes a point to greet me and say goodbye when I leave. Is she compensating for her earlier rejection? But then why all the staring? 

[MissCanuck]

37 minutes ago, Michelle The Rose said:

I am taking her rejection as a definitive answer and I have no intention of pursuing it. No means no, right?

That's right, yes. 

37 minutes ago, Michelle The Rose said:

Is she compensating for her earlier rejection? But then why all the staring? 

Possibly, yes. She probably feels a bit guilty for saying no, and maybe she feels a little awkward now. 

I don't see much to suggest she is interested, if I am being honest. I do, however, wonder how much you are projecting because you like her. You use a lot of flowery and rather exaggerated language to describe her reactions to you:

37 minutes ago, Michelle The Rose said:

her face lit up bright enough to rival the sun. 

37 minutes ago, Michelle The Rose said:

her apparent jubilation at my arrival

37 minutes ago, Michelle The Rose said:

She caught me looking at her the other day and she almost jumped into the ceiling!

To the neutral onlooker, it might not be as intense as you're imagining. 

 

[MissCanuck]

I think it's clear why you are stil single, at least. 

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Michelle The Rose said:

 But then why all the staring? 

Do you have a GF? Perhaps it's fun having this imaginary relationship with a woman you keep staring at, but eventually you'll have to find real dates/a GF.

You seem to like to think you're the center of her universe. That's ok for your imagination, but the truth is, you're just another customer.

[MissCanuck]

8 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

I think it's clear why you are stil single, at least. 

Just FYI all, this was in response to a now-deleted comment from OP 

[LaHermes]

8 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

I think it's clear why you are still single, at least. 

Very astute MissC. L. 

[SooSad33]

Nah, I wouldn't say mixed signals.. is just how you see all of this.

Fact is, she does not have that kind of interest in you.

So, is time to let it go.  Move along and just avoid her.

It is HER place of business and she looks.. that's fine.

That's all.

[smackie9]

I have a question...are you a female asking another woman out? If so, maybe she's just bi-curious?

[catfeeder]

If you're a good customer and tip well, she has a vested interest in you. She may be more astute about that than her coworkers.

[Batya33]

She knows you are interested so she would ask you out if she was or she'd tell you she can't because of the work situation.

[LaHermes]

"Last year I met this guy, he works at a business I occasionally visit. He and I had an amazing rapport,"

You said this in June, OP.

And now (yesterday) you say:

"I've been going to this place of business for a number of years and one of the employees has been sending me signals suggesting she's interested."

 

[sadchick83]

You can’t live off of these breadcrumbs.  You liked her, asked her out and she said “no.” I don’t think give you a side look erases the decline. But, if you really want to know, ask her out again.  But if she rejects you again, you have to get over it.