Narcissistic husband

[GrEeN eYeS15]

Can anyone possibly give me some great advice about dealing with a narcissistic husband? I'm completely at the point where I'm done meaning I can not take the bull *** I get its like dude how do you not see when your being a duck when it hurts me and I top of that when I'm hurt and he's aware I'm hurt he straight acts like I'm the one causing myself to hurt I'm like yea bro I love enjoying being depressed all the time because you make me feel like I can't do anything right or say anything  right. I mean I use to have a buddy of mine who was just a friend that I would talk to about this and he freaked out because my friend was a guy the sad part is he was friends with my buddy before he was even friends with me so it made it easier to talk to him about the hubby. So the hubby straight said that I was cheating on him because I would talk to this guy because I needed a friend because I simply don't have any friends really either because the hubby doesn't like them or simply because I don't want to hear what he's got to say if I did because I don't have time for the bull *** games he always try to play its like I am dammed if I do dammed if I don't. So my husband and I own a company together and share 50 50 and have all are employees like my life's got alot going on with it to simply just be like *** it I don't care because even if I was to act like I don't I do I just can not ***ing stand the bull *** games he likes to play. I mean are company just got contracted with another company a few of them well he was acting strange twds me the other day out of no where and I kept asking him like what is up and he would make these *** remakes and blame them on one of the employees because he was upset with one of them but the remarks he was saying made completely no sense to why he was even upset with one of the employees so I got to thinking right like ok must be something I've done that I don't even know about yet and he just kept denying that he was upset with me and me being me I like ok whatever so most of the time when he's mad I just brush it off because I don't even really care if he's mad because it's always something ***ing stupid. So come to find out he let's days go by without saying a word to me he does that alot if he's mad at me he will ponder with his bull *** accusations about me in his head then boom out of the ***ing blue he's accusing me of some *** I'm not even aware that I have done because I don't even do it he just accuses me of doing. Well apparently the friend I use to have that I would talk to who use to be his friend as well apparently walked into the store that he happened to just get contracted with keep in mind I had no idea this even happened didn't even know dude was even there because I was training a new employee 😳  so apparently he sees dude and apparently dude is looking around in the store like he's looking for someone keep in mind we just got the contract and I don't even talk to him ok so my husband out of no where starts saying some stupid ignorant 4 marks under his breath and I would ask him what did you say you better or nothing I'm just pissed off about that and why and like okay sure whatever so he has days go by literally and in those days hes just completely being an a****** to me for like no reason and I'm continuing to ask him what's going on why you being like this and he refuses to tell me and so he randomly just brings it up that saw dude in the store looking around like he was looking for somebody so immediately he's assuming in his mind that I had messaged dude to come see me witch I did not nore did I even know he was there and I don't even have dudes number like ***. He knows damn well I don't even talk to this guy anymore but instead of trying to talk to me about it or even bring it up he comes up with some bull *** to be mad at me about. So I'm asking anyone who can simply give me some pointers on what you think I should possibly do because he does this type of *** all the time so much that I'm like at the point where I'm just not even feeling my marriage anymore like at all I like and I care very much about my husband our like and our children but I can simply not handle this *** anymore I can't its just been going on for awhile now that I'm at the point that I can't even cry because I'm hurt and he can't even see that he hurts me is like he's more satisfied about the favor that he thinks he's right because he has these narcissistic thoughts that he thinks are right when there not even right but trying to explain to him how he's bat *** crazy gets me no where is like I'm taking to a wall that wants to try to play his mind games and talk me in circles because this is what he does he will talk me in circles that make no sense none at all and I'm looking at him like do you even know what the bell your saying so when he trys to talk me in circles and it don't work then he just becomes ignorant by you putting me down or being an a****** just to watch me cry and he sits there and basically tells him idk why your crying because you know you ***ed up. And the simple fact of the matter is that I didn't do anything or even know dude was in the store and it's like he comes up with *** in his head of what he thinks happens and I am a lier,cheater even you can think of and then once he's hurt me and I'm fighting back by simply not giving a *** what he thinks because he's going to think whatever and believe what he thinks so when I'm too the point where I don't even ***ing care he's like why are you mad at me and I just say I'm not because what's there to be mad at taking to him is completely pointless if you try even try to explain to him how he's a ***ing ass he will come up with every thing he thinks you did wrong and Tyger it right in your face so there's simply no taking to him because he can't ever see his wrongs so everyone please help me with what you think I should do about my narcissistic husband.

[Kwothe28]

Godzilla had a stroke trying to read that lol

Anyway, from what I understood, he is a narcissist who is crazy jealous at some of his friend that became your friend and to some guy at the store out of nowhere? And from the previous thread I see you both battle with addiction. As another meme would said "completely normal phenomenon". Narcissists believe they are special and have inflated ego trip. To him everyone who you even look at and that is not him is an insult to his ego. They also have no empathy. So him demonstrating an arrogant behavior why you cry because of him is normal. It gives him another ego boost as you cry over him and due to lack of empathy he doesnt care about your feelings. You could cry all day if you want, he would still blame you(as he is unable to take guilt because that would mean he is wrong and thats a no-no, another narcissistic treat) and laugh. I am afraid there is nothing you can do there. With addiction and that, all you can do is move away from that kind of person. 

[GrEeN eYeS15]

Kwothe sorry that post was a mess haha I'm just so frustrated it's hard to put it all out there and yea I'm completely at the point of just letting go because I get no where with him and I don't think he would simply even care if I was to leave anyways so I mean I don't see another way out because he's aware of what he does and isn't trying to change it so me giving hope hurts no one but myself really it's just so exhausting dealing with the hole situation really.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, GrEeN eYeS15 said:

he will talk me in circles that make no sense none at all and I'm looking at him like do you even know what the bell your saying

Until his addiction and alcohol issues are addressed it will be hell like this. Google 'alcoholism and addiction' rather than armchair faux diagnoses.

 

[SooSad33]

1 hour ago, GrEeN eYeS15 said:

I get its like dude how do you not see when your being a duck when it hurts me and I top of that when I'm hurt and he's aware I'm hurt he straight acts like I'm the one causing myself to hurt I'm like yea bro I love enjoying being depressed all the time because you make me feel like I can't do anything right or say anything  right.

Because this is how they are. They will degrade you. They do turn it around onto you.  They can be cruel!

 

1 hour ago, GrEeN eYeS15 said:

I use to have a buddy of mine who was just a friend that I would talk to about this and he freaked out because my friend was a guy the sad part is he was friends with my buddy before he was even friends with me so it made it easier to talk to him about the hubby. So the hubby straight said that I was cheating on him because I would talk to this guy

- Form of control and just to start something with you.

 

1 hour ago, GrEeN eYeS15 said:

I simply don't have any friends really either because the hubby doesn't like them or simply because I don't want to hear what he's got to say if I did because I don't have time for the bull *** games he always try to play its like I am dammed if I do dammed if I don't.

You want friends.. make sure you do have some.. What you need to do is disown HIM.

 

Yeah, you basically can NOT deal with them rationally.  They mess you up badly 😕 .

Is best, for your own sanity, to work your way out of all of this... I am sure you can plan your escape, to one day just be gone!

Talk to a lawyer, see your options on ridding of your end of the business.. and clear your name.

You need to act & soon.  Never let anyone treat you this way.

 

[DancingFool]

You don't deal with them, OP, you get a divorce. Be sure you get a lawyer who is experienced in handling narcs as they are indeed a special breed of sadistic psycho. Leave, do not speak to him, let your lawyer handle him completely. 

To put it very simply, it's not that he doesn't know he is hurting you or driving you completely crazy, it's that he loooooves doing it, is doing it intentionally, and literally gets off on it. The more you react the better for him.

There is a lot of advice on if you absolutely must deal with a narc, you have to master being a grey rock, i.e. no reaction no matter the provocation. Easier said than done and its own special kind of hell. He knows you, he's studied you, he knows exactly how to manipulate you and what buttons to push to get a rise out of you and as you try to "grey rock" him, he will just increase his efforts to break you down and get a reaction anyway. It's a losing game for you. In short, you don't deal, you get away for good. 

Kick them out of your life and no contact forever. If you have children and have to share custody, then stick strictly to parenting apps and again, no contact outside of app and schedule. Do not speak to them.

Narcs are like cancer - if you want to survive, you have to cut them out completely and ruthlessly.

[boltnrun]

Are you both still using drugs?