3 year age gap, 16 and 19. Is it weird?

[cgracie]

I started a new job at a pool a few weeks ago and I’m really into this guy. We both work a lot so I see him usually 4-5 days a week. He’s so sweet and it’s rare that I ever have an interest in anyone so when I do my feelings are usually pretty strong. Only problem is he’s 19 and I’m 16. The age of consent laws in my state are 16 so it’s not the legal part I’m concerned about anyways, just what other people would think of it or what any other 19 year olds reading this think, plus I’m not really interested in a sexual relationship anyways. I’ve thought a lot about the age gap too and I don’t think 3 years is that bad, also coming from someone who has been manipulated and controlled in past relationships I’m very careful with who I talk to and know the signs of a toxic relationship when I see one so I’m not worried about him taking advantage of me either. Plus, I don’t even know if he’s interested in me at all or if he even knows that I’m 16. The only reason I know that he’s 19 is because I googled him. I guess I’m looking for advice on the whole situation, what people think of the age gap, or if anyone knows how to get someone else to become interested in you. I’m just really hoping this could work out.

[Capricorn3]

A 3 year age gap is not shocking, but sometimes the ages do matter.  Sometimes at age 16 we are in a very different phase of life to a 19 year old and that's where problems can arise.  Sure, there are "mature" 16 year old and immature 19 year old etc, but (to me) 16 is mostly still in a very different phase to someone older.

You say you don't even know if he's interested in you at this point anyway.  Don't jump the gun.  Should he show interest, make sure you let him know you are 16.

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, celiagracie said:

I don’t even know if he’s interested in me at all or if he even knows that I’m 16. 

It's ok to have a crush on someone, but don't chase coworkers. Talk to trusted adults if you feel you have had "controlling and manipulative" relationships in the past. 

[SooSad33]

11 hours ago, celiagracie said:

I’m not really interested in a sexual relationship anyways

Yes, but they are.  At that age, they're hormone's are raging 😉 

 

You are young... so be careful.  

How you feel and how he feels can be 2 different matters.

I remember, when I was that age... If I was 19 I would not be into a 16 year old. ( Sometimes the older guys were into the younger gals, yes) .

It may not be a good idea to get involved with a co-worker though.  Work places should just be that - place of work.

I don't suggest you really 'try' to get him interested in you... You do as you normally do.  IF he notices you & fancies you, you'll know soon enough.

Otherwise, focus on your work!

 

[Lambert]

Just stay friends... Don't bring drama to work.  Enjoy the time and focus on boys outside work. 

[melancholy123]

3 yrs is not a huge age gap in general but 16 and 19 are in two different mind sets.  You barely know him, so don't dwell on trying to create a relationship with him.  At 19 for sure he's looking for sex.

[smackie9]

Hey as long as you two are on the same wave length maturity wise, should be good to go. If jealousy on either end arises into arguments, then it's not good to go, and should get out as soon as that happens.

[Wiseman2]

Is this the same boy?

 

[boltnrun]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is this the same boy?

 

This is an old-ish thread (9 months old).

[Wiseman2]

17 hours ago, boltnrun said:

This is an old-ish thread (9 months old).

Why is it being dredged up then?