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What should I do? my BFF and I are fading ...


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My best friend (23, F) of 3 years blocked me on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, and even Tiktok. Let’s call her Abby. Abby blocked my fiancé and our other best friend , Natalie, as well. This occurred a couple days ago on Tuesday night. However, I found out the next day when I tried to send her a message on Snapchat. And it stated I needed to add her, then her thread disappeared (indicating she blocked me). However, before I realized she blocked us, she sent our friend group chat a message apologizing for not replying back to us and that she had a horrible breakdown the night before. Including that she cut everyone off but that she was “back and good now.” My other friend (Natalie) and I replied back letting her know to not worry, take care, and that we loved her. But she never apologized or mentioned the reason for blocking us. Yesterday, she unblocked us and requested to follow us back, only on Snapchat and Instagram. I did notice she unblocked me on Twitter and Tiktok but didn’t try following me back. I assume maybe she doesn’t want me to see what she’s up too. 
 

*** this best friend of mine is my bridesmaid for my wedding that is coming up in August. She is starting to become depressed. I’ve noticed she tends to ignore and isolate her close friends when she is going through a tough time. However, this time it seems serious. It makes me feel like she doesn’t want to be my friend. I feel conflicted. I have given her space but it’s giving me doubts on whether or not I should have her in my wedding party. I want to be there for her and I do care for her but this is a lot for me. I’ve asked close family and friends for advice and they say that she may not be my true friend or showing her true colors because she blocked only her best friends but no one else on social media. 
 

what should I do? 

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15 minutes ago, elizabeth28 said:

My best friend (23, F) of 3 years blocked me on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, and even Tiktok. Let’s call her Abby. Abby blocked my fiancé and our other best friend , Natalie, as well. This occurred a couple days ago on Tuesday night. However, I found out the next day when I tried to send her a message on Snapchat. And it stated I needed to add her, then her thread disappeared (indicating she blocked me). However, before I realized she blocked us, she sent our friend group chat a message apologizing for not replying back to us and that she had a horrible breakdown the night before. Including that she cut everyone off but that she was “back and good now.” My other friend (Natalie) and I replied back letting her know to not worry, take care, and that we loved her. But she never apologized or mentioned the reason for blocking us. Yesterday, she unblocked us and requested to follow us back, only on Snapchat and Instagram. I did notice she unblocked me on Twitter and Tiktok but didn’t try following me back. I assume maybe she doesn’t want me to see what she’s up too. 
 

*** this best friend of mine is my bridesmaid for my wedding that is coming up in August. She is starting to become depressed. I’ve noticed she tends to ignore and isolate her close friends when she is going through a tough time. However, this time it seems serious. It makes me feel like she doesn’t want to be my friend. I feel conflicted. I have given her space but it’s giving me doubts on whether or not I should have her in my wedding party. I want to be there for her and I do care for her but this is a lot for me. I’ve asked close family and friends for advice and they say that she may not be my true friend or showing her true colors because she blocked only her best friends but no one else on social media. 
 

what should I do? 

Why haven't you picked up the  phone to see how she is doing?  She sounds like she is having  difficult time and you are going on about being blocked on Snap Chat etc...   This is you best friend and you equate the importance of your friendship to the accessibility on social media.  Good god, what am I missing! 

Edited by Hollyj
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4 hours ago, beth82 said:

It makes me feel like she doesn’t want to be my friend. 

She seems stressed and depressed. Invite her to the wedding but allow her to step down from the bridesmaids thing. 

Leave her alone. She has her own friends and family who care about her.

When someone keeps blocking you, take the hint and step away. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I did something similar to my friends.

 

Here's why: A friend of mine moved in with her boyfriend and basically got engaged and it made me jealous because its where I imagined my life would be. I ended up deleting all of my social media because I found myself feeling WORSE when I saw my friends post pics of their boyfriends and engagements and all of that. I had serious jealously and envy towards my friend (I never expressed it to her directly) but when I was on my own I found myself having jealous thoughts. 

It hurt because I was genuinely happy for my friend and her milestone. I was glad she was engaged. I was glad that her life was going well but the jealousy was too much and I decided to just step away instead of possibly hurting my friend during her exciting stage in her life. Women can be soo unintentionally mean to each other, I was scared that I'd say something and ruin this for her so I stepped away. 

The way I see it it's easier for her to apologize for her not being in your wedding (not taking a heavy role in your wedding) VS her having to apologize for her RUINING your wedding. 

If someone removes themselves after explaining they're having mental health issues its best to be supportive and give them space. 

It seems like you've already isolated her though. It seems like youre discussing her with the other bridemaids behind her back, making everyone feel weird about her. I get weddings are a big deal but your friend is clearly depressed and isolating herself and your main focus is whether or not she'll be able to fulfill her bridemaids duties. Are you fulfilling your friend duties? When you asked her to be your bridemaid, were you thinking about her feelings about it?

It doesn't seem like she should be in your bridesmaid party...it doesn't seem like youre close enough for that because if you were, you'd check up on your friend with genuine concern of her wellbeing NOT just her ability to pose in your wedding photos. 

 

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Your bridesmaids should be women you care about. Women you check up on. Friends you care about. If "bridemaid" was an appropriate title for her you should be able to drop by her house and check up on her but I'm guessing you don't? 

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