SeaBisquit Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 please help me understand, yesterday i went over to my bf place and i found some really sick stuff on his computer. it doesn't bother me too much if he looks at porn but this stuff was way to sick and perverted to me. now i can't look at him the same and i feel that he is addicted. i don't know if this is a normal guy thing or if i should be worried, i just didn't like what i saw. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Viewing porn is pretty normal guy behaviour..... what exactly did you see that made you think it was abnormal? Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 hi Hope, i would rather not say just something that isn't acceptable to me. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Sea, Looking at porn is a pretty normal behaviour for a guy. My guy views it fairly regularly, and most of my guy friends admit that they do as well. If it is having an effect on your sex life, or your relationship, maybe it's time to have a talk with him. Without knowing what you are seeing it's hard for me to say if it is really disturbing, or if it seems normal. Why don't you ask him about it? Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 thanks hope, i already know in my gut that it wasn't normal, i"m just kinda in denial i guess. i kinda wish i didn't see it. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 We all seem to have an idea of what we feel is acceptable pornography or not. Since you refuse to say what the item in question is you are only going to get general advice which isnt going to help your situation out. I have seen my fair share of questionable pornography, im referring to degrading ones, most of which I find funny. Its comparable to building up my tolerance to see if I can stand it. It boggles my mind that some people find that sexually arrousing but that the same time thats them. What two adults do as long as both parties are willing, I dont feel is my concern. I dont have to agree with it because its not me. If this activity bothers you too much then break up with him. Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 hello day_walker it was pornography of young girls. i have a young daughter so of course i'm mortified. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Well, That makes alot more sense as to why you are disturbed! Were these girls a similar age as your daughter? How long have you been with the bf? Do you feel as though you can talk to him about this? Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 hi hope, no, i don't think i can talk to him about this. the girls on the computer were a little older than my daughter, but it does care me. we have been toghether for almost two years and the funny thing is in my gut i alway felt like something was wrong. i always felt like i wasn't pleasing him sexually. Link to comment
MiquelAngelo Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 If he's not your daughter's father I would get rid of him now!!! Save your daughter from this. Everyday there are news reports on this subject, get her away from him now. Do you need more signs? Think about your baby first. Don't put her life in danger. I hope you've never left her alone with him!!!! Trust your gut feeling!!!!!! Link to comment
Ms Omaniac Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 i know when i first saw porn that i thought was toooo freaky...i was too weirded out and stopped talking to the guy. id talk to him about it to try calm your worried mind or it might bother you to do the same. - ivy Link to comment
chai714 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Sea, I know you worked hard to get him back. That is now a non-issue though now. The issue becomes one of your daughter's safety now, rather than an issue of whether or not things will or will not work out between you and him. If you can not trust him around your daughter or anyone young, you have no relationship. What he enjoys is not legal, correct? Not only that, but it has made you think about your daughters safety. If he does have underage porn on his computer, then he could be labeled as a pedophile. I'm sure you don't want your name associated with someone with that kind of reputation. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 I have to agree with Chai.. . While I am not familiar with your story in terms of getting him back, your first concern needs to be the safety of your daughter. I don't know how much of this porn was on his computer, or if it was just a passing thing that he clicked on before he realized what it was. Either way, if you can't talk with him about this, what kind of a relationship is this anyway? I question it if you can't trust him and you don't feel comfortable talking to him about it. Link to comment
CarterJonas Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 I agree with hope, before you make any decisions check if he was redirected to that site accidentally, or whether it is something done on a more regular basis. Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 i don't know exactly what to think at the moment. i haven't seen this kind of stuff on his computer before. this is the first time. that's what makes me wonder. he knew that i would see it becuase i was staying at his place. i guess i don't trust him much and yeah this is hard to discuss. i don't exactly know the right words to use when i ask him about this stuff and how can i be sure if he is telling me the truth. i just think it's strange he didn't clear it from the history. he knew i would see it. Link to comment
CarterJonas Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 he knew i would see it. which maybe makes me think it could have been accidental? unless there is a lot of history on the pc with different dates. Link to comment
lunatic Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Well I have to put in my two cents on this one. First off, if you cannot talk to him about what you found on his PC then there is no relationship. Communication is key to a healthy foundation of love and trust. Secondly, instead of freaking out about this talk to him TODAY! Find out his side of the story before you assume anything. It is entirely possible that the porn you found was something he clicked on by accident. Finally, if you cant talk to him about this issue then it is time to move on from this man. I would talk to him before you let your imagination go off on a wild tangent. Link to comment
Rainy Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 I would keep your daughter away from him at the moment and if you can try and look and see if it was only once that he was loking at these sites, even if it is just once i would say to him i was on the computer and clicked on a wrong button and found this, can you explain?, Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 These people are sick twisted freaks. There was a show on MSNBC I think last year, and these kind of people started from where your bf was (looking at little girls on the net) and then they went to actually having sex and molesting children, then they went to Cambodia and the guys pay American dollars for BJ's and intercourse. I think this is a serious risk to your daughter. I think you should break up with him. It is definitely going to be hard if your attached to the guy, but it's for your own good to break up with him. These people need some serious help, his mind is just as dangerous and crazy as a serial rapist. Link to comment
ShySoul Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 You do need to talk to him about it. It could have been accidently. Or maybe someone else had access to the computer and viewed it. But if this is something that he likes to look at, then you have reason to be concerned about your daughter. She should be the top priority in your life and any guy you are with you need to feel safe about him being around her. I'm wondering about the ages. How old is your daughter? How old are the girls he is looking at? If they are under 18 that is one illegal, and two disturbing. You probably should be concerned. But assuming he is around your age, 24, and the girls are like 18-20 that would be more normal. Still, if it makes you uncomfortable you need to talk to him and work it out. If he really cares about you he should understand how you feel and stop. Link to comment
itry Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 hey sea... when u say "young" what age range is that? im dating someone and i have a little girl also... he has tons of porno on his comptuer and the youngest he goes is the ones that say "teen queens" 18ish or so. these porno queens dress and act young but u can tell that their of age.... if the girls on his pc look like pre-teens 11 yrs olds etc. etc... then theres a problem... ive been dating my porno addicted moron for about 3 yrs now. porno doesnt bother me at all cuz i watch them with him.. but i know if i saw some weird things that interfered with my gut feeling... id have to bail Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 26, 2005 Share Posted May 26, 2005 You guys might be overreacting.As disgusting as I find pediophiles there could be any number of reasons he has that on his computer. I have gone to porn sights before only to have stuff come up on my comp that I didn't intend or want to be there that was pretty weird looking. Link to comment
pchellak Posted May 26, 2005 Share Posted May 26, 2005 How do you go from finding some porn on the computer (which could be accidental) to a Pedophile ? You guys are ridiculous. She needs to confront her boyfriend about this not assume the worst. Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 26, 2005 Share Posted May 26, 2005 Pc trhat was my point. I have accidentially downloaded all kinds of nasty crap on the comp. Most the stuff you don't know what it is until it comes up. You see the text and think it's normal until it comes up, then you get rid of it. He could have just been lazy about it. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted May 26, 2005 Share Posted May 26, 2005 How do you go from finding some porn on the computer (which could be accidental) to a Pedophile ? You guys are ridiculous. She needs to confront her boyfriend about this not assume the worst. Well I think the issue was that the porn is of young girls. She didn't say what age the young girls were, and of course there is the possibility that it got on his computer as a link from an adult porn site, BUT masterbating to pictures of little girls, I'm pretty sure, classifies one as a pedophile (which by definition, means an adult who is sexually attracted to a child or children.) Link to comment
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