bengals12 Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 We are both college students at different schools, and we met each other back home over break. We hung out a few times at parties with mutual friends, drank pretty much every time but still got along really well. We ended up hooking up a few times, and texting all day every day after that. We agreed to stay in touch back at school and hang out this summer. It went great for the first few weeks, and then we agreed to both go home to visit our parents on the same weekend and we hung out all weekend. Got food, coffees, sleepover, all of it. We were with each other more than we weren't for that weekend. We both expressed we missed each other and it was a great weekend, and then we went our separate ways. This was about a month ago, and since then the talking has really slowed down. We snapchat eachother a couple times a day now as opposed to constantly like before, and only really have a convo once a week and even that feels forced. It sucks because when it was good for that month or two it was really good, and I dont get crushes like this easily. Basically we hit it off really well but now our momentum has slowed down basically to a halt. I think my two options are either just do this once a week thing until summer and try to pick things up then (which runs the risk of it dying out even more), or shoot her a text saying something like "so are we still talking here or what are you thinking". It is also tough because we never defined what exactly we were doing, so she might have viewed it as nothing more than hooking up (but if thats case not sure why shed give up a weekend for me and tell me how she missed me). Either way I am gonna try to date girls at college for the next few months before summer, but I like this one so I would like to try to save it if possible. Any advice appreciated Link to comment
smackie9 Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 It's uni...sorry but it's either she's busy or gettin busy if you know what I mean. There is no sense in getting tied down at this time in your life. There are no magic words to be spoken or acts that would encourage her. This is completely out of your control. If you call her out on it, you will come off as needy and creepy. Guaranteed to get facepalmed. This was casual, and didn't really have a leg to stand on...it was what it was. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 10 minutes ago, bengals12 said: We snapchat eachother a couple times a day now as opposed to constantly like before, and only really have a convo once a week and even that feels forced. It sucks because when it was good for that month or two it was really good, Seems normal, things do kinda die down a little after the 'honeymoon phase'.. (at first is always great). Do this once a week thing? You mean meeting up with her once a week? - Then you two really need to talk. I do suggest you weigh your odds here & fast... so it does not die off totally, especially if you are that much into her. Won't know until you ask. ( So, if you're that into her, don't know why you'd be out looking for other 'hook ups?). Link to comment
bengals12 Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 6 minutes ago, smackie9 said: It's uni...sorry but it's either she's busy or gettin busy if you know what I mean. There is no sense in getting tied down at this time in your life. There are no magic words to be spoken or acts that would encourage her. This is completely out of your control. If you call her out on it, you will come off as needy and creepy. Guaranteed to get facepalmed. This was casual, and didn't really have a leg to stand on...it was what it was. Ya as much as i dont want to admit it I think you are right. Only reason I went to the internet to ask strangers about it is because I fell for this girl pretty quickly, which is very uncommon of me. You think there's anything left to say or do I just let it run its course for the next couple months and maybe hope something develops in the summer? Link to comment
smackie9 Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 just keep in contact I guess. Keep it light, fun, casual. Maybe SC different things you are doing or of interest. If it totally dies off, her attention might have gone else where. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 22 minutes ago, smackie9 said: It's uni...sorry but it's either she's busy or gettin busy if you know what I mean. There is no sense in getting tied down at this time in your life. There are no magic words to be spoken or acts that would encourage her. This is completely out of your control. If you call her out on it, you will come off as needy and creepy. Guaranteed to get facepalmed. This was casual, and didn't really have a leg to stand on...it was what it was. Well said. It's just way things play out sometimes. I get you want answers, but in this case her actions are telling you everything you already need to know. Don't force her hand, keep your head on straight and keep the door open. That's all you can do. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 Talking gets tiring and so does texting if that's all it is. It sounds like you both have no way of seeing each other in person during the school year. If that's the case, move on. Date other people and enjoy your time in uni. She should do the same. Neither of you are mindreaders but I'd gauge most people who are serious to have in one ear/out the other if it's just a text buddy or virtual relationship. In other words, it's hard to take any of this seriously if you're not spending more time in person together or making plans to see each other. See how it goes in the summer. Link to comment
Lambert Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 I would not text her asking what you guys are. That's a drag. Especially because there's not a lot to be done about it since you're long distance and at uni. here's what I'd do... call her and say, I was thinking... wouldn't it be fun to both go home the same weekend again? What do you think? Can you get away? Fun, exciting, making plans for a weekend. Maybe you guys can keep doing this every so often until summer when hopefully you'd both be in the same place. Continue to date others, as long as it's not defined and see what happens. fun times together are what make things last... not long phone conversations, texting all day. its fun, laughter, inside jokes and you had to be there moments. look for ways to create those. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 Slow it down so there's more to chat about. Give yourselves some time and space to at least accumulate some interesting things to share. Link to comment
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