Gut feeling

[lonewolf1991]

So I met this girl 2 weeks ago on tinder. conversations escalated into face times and we’ve literally spoke on FaceTime for about 50 hours or so which is A LOT

I’m really starting to like her, she texts me every morning, sends me songs when I’m driving all day. We laugh and joke around together a lot. Send each other intimate pictures and even have had intimate moments on FaceTime together. 
 

She seems the full package. Very driven in her career, loyal, caring, funny, smart. She’s very beautiful. Honestly it seems perfect, but a little to good to be true. 
 

we’ve spoke about meeting up a lot but it’s not easy with the pandemic. A few nights ago I was direct with her and said look I really want to see you, I can’t wait anymore (she lives about 1 hour 45 from me)

she kind of just said we will sort something out. Didn’t seem that enthusiastic. 
 

anywsy between now and then things have been the same. This girl is super seductive, like her eyes just undress you and she knows this. But I’m starting to feel like I don’t trust her. If she ever gets an inkling that I may back off or be unsure, her affection doubles! I can’t help but think I’m just being a lock down buddy for her.
 

wither I’m the problem and this girl really wants me, which I’ll admit I found hard to believe in the beginning because of who pretty she is, and everything else she has going for her.

 

im Smart, funny and caring but not as attractive as her. There’s nothing wrong with being honest, I’m really not putting myself down it’s just the truth. 
 

I felt she as being off with me earlier so I called het out. She’s done nothing but reassure me but like I said her affections has gotten more so. Like I sent her a Video of me rapping a song because we were both listening to it and she was literally like “my heart skipped a beat a few times then”

 

rhis sounds great but I’m just not use to this affection and it feels like it’s not coming from a sincere place.

 

could anyone advice. I have written a previous post about her

 

thanks 

[Andrina]

I felt she as being off with me earlier so I called het out. She’s done nothing but reassure me but like I said her affections has gotten more so.

Called her out? She doesn't owe you anything. You haven't even met in person. You're not exclusive, and shouldn't be because until you physically meet someone, it's all la-la-land fantasy.

If she's that fantastic and pretty, why isn't she with anybody local? And why aren't you limiting dating to within a decent commuting distance? Why place a hardship on something that doesn't need to be hard? Unless you live in a podunk town with an extremely small dating pool, there's no reason for long distance dating. There are so many cons to it, especially since you can't date at a normal pace. Either you're spending too little time together, or too much time since when you do see each other, it ends up being too lengthy which is smothering.

Yeah, if someone doesn't agree to meet after 2 weeks of communicating, don't waste your time being a cyber buddy. I had to cut guys loose who did this to me when I used to be on OLD. I did limit my dating pool to within a 45 minute drive of my location. The trick to finding a keeper is to keep cutting the losers loose, because it usually takes dating a boatload of people to find out who matches you and who puts in equal effort. Good luck.

[limichelle]

Hi,

 

if you feel she’s too good to be true, she probably is. Trust your gut instinct always. Because you haven’t met it’s easy to fantasize about her being your ideal woman.  In reality, you know nothing about her. In person you may or may not have chemistry.  I can understand not wanting to meet due to the pandemic. Maybe you should try dating closer to you and when it’s safe again to do so?  That way you meet within two weeks and don’t waste time with online fantasy.

[catfeeder]

Strange times call for strange behavior. Speaking only for myself, I've turned down every invitation to commingle in person with anyone outside of my immediate family, who are also in quarantine. It's a pandemic, regardless of how careful or careless anyone chooses to be about that.

[SherrySher]

12 hours ago, lonewolf1991 said:

I can’t help but think I’m just being a lock down buddy for her.
 

Trust your gut instinct, most of the time it's 100% right. 

A person can read another person behaviors, they can tell the change in tone, or in efforts and communication. You noticed right away that it changed as soon as you mentioned meeting, that's a red flag. 

It does sound like you're company for her right now that gives her an ego boost but she's not wanting you as an actual fulltime boyfriend.

At least that's the vibe I get from reading what you wrote.

Right now you need to slow down. Realize that she is not perfection and that you don't know her. You know an internet version of what she's chosen to show you, it doesn't give you the whole picture of who she really is.

It also doesn't tell you if she is chatting up other men besides you or has someone she sees near by.

Start looking at it more logically and not making into a fantasy. The real side of it might not be as appealing you as think it is.

[Hollyj]

That is a lot in a very short period of time.   

I would also ask if this is doable, as she lives about two hours away.  You should be looking local. 

[boltnrun]

There has to be a reason why this woman who you will never meet in person is so appealing to you. 

Why don't you actually want to date? Why choose an online only interaction?

[Kate-305]

16 hours ago, lonewolf1991 said:

If she ever gets an inkling that I may back off or be unsure, her affection doubles! I can’t help but think I’m just being a lock down buddy for her.
 

It seems like you guys are hitting it off just fine! 

I understand her hesitation to meet up as a online dating veteran and woman. Meeting someone in the flesh is a lot different than over Wifi. She might just be a little nervous. The prospect of you two being over an hour also apart adds another level to the whole meet up aspect. I would recommend trying to find a restaurant that's right in between the two of you. That might make it a little less daunting of a task.

As for the quote above, that is a little weird but it's so early on it's hard to tell. On one hand she could just see potential in you and want to make you feel secure with her. And if you feel that potential too then I'd say run with it. However, if you're interested in something more casual with her then I'd be a little more cognoscente of that behavior. Don't let her take it farther than you want/ are ready for and be clear about that with her. 

Pace your moves with hers. It's all about being on the same page with wants, needs and, desires. I wish you the best of luck!

[Batya33]

6 minutes ago, Kate-305 said:

It seems like you guys are hitting it off just fine! 

I understand her hesitation to meet up as a online dating veteran and woman. Meeting someone in the flesh is a lot different than over Wifi. She might just be a little nervous. The prospect of you two being over an hour also apart adds another level to the whole meet up aspect. I would recommend trying to find a restaurant that's right in between the two of you. That might make it a little less daunting of a task.

As for the quote above, that is a little weird but it's so early on it's hard to tell. On one hand she could just see potential in you and want to make you feel secure with her. And if you feel that potential too then I'd say run with it. However, if you're interested in something more casual with her then I'd be a little more cognoscente of that behavior. Don't let her take it farther than you want/ are ready for and be clear about that with her. 

Pace your moves with hers. It's all about being on the same page with wants, needs and, desires. I wish you the best of luck!

 I met over 100 men in person through online sites.  I was on online sites to date in person.  I wasn't there to date onlline.  If someone refused to meet me in a public place for an hour or so ASAP after being in contact and having a phone call I moved on.  Of course dating can be nerve wracking -all dating - meeting strangers in person can be nerve wracking.  And I only dealt with people who prioritized meeting in person ASAP over their fears -that is how I knew they were serious about dating - I only sought out men looking for marriage and family and wrote the same on my profile so if they didn't want to meet in person ASAP to see if we should go on an actual date I assumed they were not actually as goal oriented as I was about marriage and family. I also avoided long distance.