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My wife's sexual affair with her personal trainer

PersonalT

By PersonalT
in Infidelity

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reinventmyself Grand Master

reinventmyself

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Got her evicted?

I live in CA and its a no fault state. She has just as much right to be in the home as you do. You absolutely can not have her evicted. I'm going to say she left on her own.

And the younger girlfriend?

I feel for her seeing youve drug her into this messy situation when you aren't really in an emotional place to offer her anything.

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PersonalT Apprentice

PersonalT

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Looks like she is protecting herself and the kids. That doesn't bode well for you as far as divorce and custody hearing. Your kids are the victims here, not you.

 

Yes, they are the victims, I slammed her phone, she called cops on me, I was charged with misdemeanor vandalism. By the way, phone is on my s/s. I pay for it. And I also had insurance on it. Cops didn't care. Welcome to state of regressive liberals: California.

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PersonalT Apprentice

PersonalT

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A restraining order? Why was that? Have you ever been harmful to your children or around them?

 

I'm assuming you've been to court concerning your children. If not, then you really need to get a good lawyer.

 

When I ran on her facebook messages with personal trainer, I broke her phone (that is actually on my name under my s/s, and I also had insurance on it, but cops didn't care), I was charged with misdemeanor "vandalism". 3 years of probation and restraining order.

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PersonalT Apprentice

PersonalT

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I totally get wanting to get the jerk fired for treating his job as a pick up joint. Some gyms would actually terminate for that kind of behavior.

 

However, your main beef is with your cheating wife. Once a wife decided to not keep her knees together there is an unending line of willing participants.

 

So if it were not the trainer it would be the butcher, baker, and/or the candlestick maker. Capiche?

 

It is better to focus on making your future great for yourself and your children.

 

You cannot unwind the past and you can't mete out punishment to the offenders.

 

So, so, so frustrating! Yup.

 

It is frustrating, but she is a mother of my children, can't do ... But Jose..., he know I'm her husband, still went for it. Just man's ....you understand.

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PersonalT Apprentice

PersonalT

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Most abused woman/children who get a restraining order flee voluntarily.

 

When I ran on her facebook messages, I broke her phone, I was charged with misdemeanor vandalism. 3 years probation and restraining order. Same night she celebrated the restraining order with him, while my parents were babysitting my children.

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PersonalT Apprentice

PersonalT

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What would you sue him for? Sorry, my guy. But ladies like your wife are a dime a dozen. I could near guarantee there was no force or coercion. Just two folks voluntarily engaging in infidelity. Bear in mind when I was certified, I as well as any other actual professionals had zero respect for folks like "Jose." But just as well, women treating us as glorified escorts were and are their own form of a career landmine. Turning one down was a toss of the coin as to whether you get a seething Yelp review and three of her friends writing their own for effect. Not at all suggesting Jose wasn't wearing a grin all the same, but clients are our bosses even if we've got the opportunity to diversify. Again, not saying the dude wasn't a complete ****bag, but insofar as they're holding the purse strings, you at the very least shouldn't be holding her equally culpable. A judge certainly isn't going to give a ****. And as an aside, it does women like this and your wife an immense disrespect to assume them such a manipulated party.

 

All that said, so long as you're going to take the more expedited and decisive route, I'd stick with it. I wouldn't complicate it with civil suits and spending money that could go to the betterment of your children instead on lawyers for a decision your soon to be ex-wife made. Get some counseling for yourself to help navigate this awful event and look forward to effectively parenting and co-parenting your children despite it.

 

I feel you!

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SherrySher Grand Master

SherrySher

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The personal trainer isn't the guy to focus on. Yes he offered her an option but SHE willingly took it. Despite having a husband and children, she decided to behave badly.

If Jose hadn't been around, it would have been another man. Your wife had her eye out for someone and was looking for trouble.

 

I really do feel for you. It's very tough. All you can do is try to regroup, get your head in a better space and find a way through this.

 

You took a wrong turn with her phone, but I get it. You were very upset. That doesn't make it right.

Either way, try to find your way back out of this now.

 

Your ex wife can behave however she wants to now. Call you an idiot, keep running around with men. All she is doing is making herself look like an ass.

Your children won't respect her and everyone else around her will see her for what she is.

All you need to do is step back and focus on living your life best you can and taking good care of your children.

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No1 Experienced

No1

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Don't know how exactly you 'evicted' your wife. She has just as much rights to that house and in the state of CA, eviction could take a long time to do. You might of 'convinced' her to leave but if she wants back in the house she has every right and you cant even change the locks so don't think about doing that.

You better be very careful from this point on. You said that she lost a lot but you could end up losing more than she. She could very well lost a husband but you could lose the house, job, money and the kids so if your attny tells you to cool it, you cool it. Its time to put your hurt and anger aside and think about the next 20 years because your behavior now will determine your future.

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PersonalT Apprentice

PersonalT

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Don't know how exactly you 'evicted' your wife. She has just as much rights to that house and in the state of CA, eviction could take a long time to do. You might of 'convinced' her to leave but if she wants back in the house she has every right and you cant even change the locks so don't think about doing that.

You better be very careful from this point on. You said that she lost a lot but you could end up losing more than she. She could very well lost a husband but you could lose the house, job, money and the kids so if your attny tells you to cool it, you cool it. Its time to put your hurt and anger aside and think about the next 20 years because your behavior now will determine your future.

 

I bought my house 9 years prior to marriage, She was only eligible to half of equity earned during 2 years of marriage. Court recognized that is is my property

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