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I am 46 and she was 30, (16 yrs. younger than me). She live about 60 kms away from my home town. I met her at her restaurant 9 months back. Since then we text each other regularly on facebook & whatsapp. We share our story, daily life, problem, everything even her health problems.


At first, i asked her that did she have any boyfriend? She told me that she was not having right now. We were so close and she always told me that she never text or contact any other guys like me. Also told me that I was very good to her, and she feels comfortable with me.


I gave her presents twice, whenever she came to my place, we went out together, i treated her at the restaurant and helping her a lots. But, whenever i told her that i was in love with her. I was surprised to heard that she was not ready for that. She told me that she didn't want to have any boyfriend right now. She ask me to treated her as a good and close friend. I knew that we were really closed.


From that time, i came to know that I'm in a friendzone. It's really hurt me. But i made up my mind to get out from her friend zone and applying No contact. Stop texting her, no contacting her through phone, except sending my daily newspaper through whatsapp as usual.


I knew that she'd worried about my surprised action and asked me why i didn't contact her like before? Also asked me why i didn't text her all the time like before. I still keep silence till today. I gave no answer to her text message.


I knew that she checked my facebook account and whatsapp. Now she watch my status upload everyday (She didn't do that before, while we are in a good contact) I upload pictures, to show that i was really happy doing a new project with my friends as well as i am happy all the time enjoying with new friends.


The most things that hurt me was, why she just wants me as a good friend to her. Do you think she love me or Will she love me in future?


It's almost 7 days, i still continue 'No Contact' Do you thinks 'No contact, Long distance relationship' will works to win her heart?


I shall be much obliged if anyone can help me to solve my problem at earliest possible.

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  • 1 month later...

Classic beta nice-guy mistake, don't worry, I've been there too. First mistake - giving gifts and paying for the restaurant before establishing the relationship. Despite popular opinion, this is not being a gentleman, this is being needy, desperate and pathetic. Your no-contact move, good choice, you're getting warmer. But don't post the pictures and updates for the sake of her checking in on you, remember - we live in a disposable society; people throw each other way all the time, people don't know what they want, today it's this, tomorrow it's that, the next day they are sorry. Life is too short, meet up new women and stop wasting your energy. Just be at peace with the fact that she will have to remember that she lost a good guy, and good luck to her in finding someone else like you. Sorry, tough words, but it's about time that men step up and stop being the victim, because it's open season on the nice guys and we can't let this slide any longer.

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She seemed to be pretty clear with you that she wasn't looking for a boyfriend. You wanted more, and when she did not, you cut her out of your life. That will not win her heart. She already told you she only wants to be friends. She does not want to date you. But she does want your friendship. Respect that and be friends, or leave her alone.

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She was very fair and very clear with you about her intentions. You on the other hand developed romantic feelings for her. It happens.

NC isn't a tool that's used to manipulate another person into wanting you. If you don't want to have any further contact with her, that's fine. But don't do it to play games.


I'll guess all the pictures posted of you having fun with your new friends is just another form of trying to manipulate her. But let me ask you? Does she really deserve this? Does she even notice?


You sound like two decent people who were looking for entirely different things. If you can't be her friend, that's ok. But don't lower yourself into playing games. It's not a good look and it surely won't make her find you more attractive.

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