Dating single dad, why is he pulling away??

[BeenBurned]

So I’ve decided I agree this is all wayyy out of my comfort zone and way too fast. I usually move way slower and felt pretty uncomfortable with how fast it was going. Him doing a 180 just as fast caught me off guard as well. I’m too old to play games and it feels like that’s what he’s doing. I now havn’t heard from him at all since I posted this and even if he does call or try to get back in touch with me I’m done. I have a pretty dangerous job and we had a horrible storm tonight, he couldn’t even bother to tell me to be safe like he normally does. I deserve better and deff not something moving so fast.

[Billie28]

So I’ve decided I agree this is all wayyy out of my comfort zone and way too fast. I usually move way slower and felt pretty uncomfortable with how fast it was going. Him doing a 180 just as fast caught me off guard as well. I’m too old to play games and it feels like that’s what he’s doing. I now havn’t heard from him at all since I posted this and even if he does call or try to get back in touch with me I’m done. I have a pretty dangerous job and we had a horrible storm tonight, he couldn’t even bother to tell me to be safe like he normally does. I deserve better and deff not something moving so fast.

 

I sense that you imagined him to be too old to play games and therefore assumed he wasn’t.

And you assumed that he wouldn’t introduce you to his kids as part of that game. But he did.

 

This guy can’t even commit to his kids! He essentially met you despite them and dragged them along.

No responsible parent would ever prioritise a date or sex over their kids.

In future if you date a single parent that wants to introduce you to their kids before at least 6 months of dating, realise that they are not genuine.

 

Unfortunately his kids are going to be introduced to several women and will grow up thinking that’s normal and likely have dysfunctional relationships themselves , just like the one they have with their father right now.

It’s sad for them.

 

But out of your hands.

[figureitout23]

So I’ve decided I agree this is all wayyy out of my comfort zone and way too fast. I usually move way slower and felt pretty uncomfortable with how fast it was going. Him doing a 180 just as fast caught me off guard as well. I’m too old to play games and it feels like that’s what he’s doing. I now havn’t heard from him at all since I posted this and even if he does call or try to get back in touch with me I’m done. I have a pretty dangerous job and we had a horrible storm tonight, he couldn’t even bother to tell me to be safe like he normally does. I deserve better and deff not something moving so fast.

 

I’m not getting why you think it’s ok to just not take any kind of ownership here.

 

You’ll do this again because you don’t seem to recognize your actions here.

 

You were uncomfortable with how fast he was going but said nothing....

 

And let’s be real you didn’t express that discomfort in your original post, you seemed to not see anything at all wrong with it until t was pointed out to you, then suddenly you were against it the whole time.

 

 

So this is my first post and I need help! My bf and I have only been dating for about a month. Im 28 with no kids, he’s 31 with primary custody of two younger children. Things had been great, met the kids, and over this last weekend he told me he see’s this turning into a long term serious [/Quote]

 

 

What makes it more confusing is his good morning text was really sweet. This is all less than a week after he told me he’s fallen really hard for me and see’s a future. What gives?? I know it may all sound silly but I’ve been hurt alot before and it’s so early in our relationship the insecurity is still there. Just seems like he’s done a 180.

 

I agree you are to old to play these games

 

But, to me, until you put on your big girl panties and stop letting men lead you ( which I’m sorry I don’t buy, I think you were more than happy to go into this head first, please see examples) this is your dating life. Getting hurt will keep happening until you set healthy boundaries.

[katrina1980]

I agree with fio, also want to say that given how quickly things were moving, him needing to take a step back is understandable.

 

But anything longer than 2 days, he should have communicated that to you.

 

Him just disappearing for days is pretty crappy.

 

I would feel same as you OP.

 

But consider fio's post too, she makes good points.

[BeenBurned]

Update. Completely done, he tried to apologize and I stood my ground. I’m going to take some time for myself because this was so out of the norm for me and I acted in a way that I usually don’t. I have been going through alot of changes recently and I have just gotten out of a 4 yr relationship a few months ago. I don’t know if I’m not actually ready to date or what but I think I need to take a break and reevaluate myself. I was honest when I said I don’t usually rush so I’m not sure why I was going along with it this time. Either way I’m done with him and going to focus on me and figure out whats going on. Thanks for the help.

[NYCKAT80]

Give him space. Sometimes people get scared. They do the "come here, go away" routine. Who knows, maybe the kids were a bit freaked out, too and he's backing up. He'll return if you give him room.

[Sportster2005]

Update. Completely done, he tried to apologize and I stood my ground. I’m going to take some time for myself because this was so out of the norm for me and I acted in a way that I usually don’t. I have been going through alot of changes recently and I have just gotten out of a 4 yr relationship a few months ago. I don’t know if I’m not actually ready to date or what but I think I need to take a break and reevaluate myself. I was honest when I said I don’t usually rush so I’m not sure why I was going along with it this time. Either way I’m done with him and going to focus on me and figure out whats going on. Thanks for the help.

 

Good.

 

The paradox with dating after a relationship is you don't know if you're ready until you actually try it. Taking a break and self-evaluation are two of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves. Kudos.