Jibralta Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 What’s he doing? Trying to go there again or just wanting to be friends? My gut says the first of the two but hell, I don’t know anymore. I’m no dummy, I know gecand I cannot be friends....but maybe he thinks we can?? He's trying to go there again. He's not interested in friendship. Unless "friendship" is code for "sex." Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 So, he broke NC, in a way. First time he has spoken to me when passing by since this whole thing started. I was with a coworker, he made a joke for us to get back to work, as he passed by, he looked directly at me with those eyes.....And he was the one who said to me two weeks ago, it’s better we don’t joke/tease as it makes it all even more tempting for him. I didn’t say anything back, I just continued in my conversation. What’s he doing? Trying to go there again or just wanting to be friends? My gut says the first of the two but hell, I don’t know anymore. I’m no dummy, I know gecand I cannot be friends....but maybe he thinks we can?? You work together so he is trying to keep it light. Stop trying to read into his every move. If you completely ignore one another it will be noticed just as much as if you kissed one another in the coffee room at full break. Your goal now is to get to the stage of indifference to him, not to try and figure him or his motives out. Link to comment
spunkmire Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 I would say you should quite the job as well. If him giving you a look is enough to cause the reaction it did you need to get out of there fast. Staying there is like trying to quit drinking by hanging out at bars 24/7 where alcohol is readily available. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 I would say you should quite the job as well. If him giving you a look is enough to cause the reaction it did you need to get out of there fast. Staying there is like trying to quit drinking by hanging out at bars 24/7 where alcohol is readily available. I suggested that using the same analogy but the OP said she "can't" quit. Didn't give any reason why she "can't". OP, you seem kind of excited that he interacted with you. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 I suggested that using the same analogy but the OP said she "can't" quit. Didn't give any reason why she "can't". OP, you seem kind of excited that he interacted with you. This is what Op said about not leaving her job:I do not want to quit my job unless I absolutely have to; for one, I have been at my job for many years and I love my job. Two, he has only been there a short while and intend on leaving in about 6 months (he is only there as he finishes college). So, unless he does not quit and/or he continues to stare and tempt me, I don’t want to quit. I will however if it’s my only option. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 She wrote this: I am done and want to walk away from this. I don’t think I can do it alone though.....can someone help hold me accountable for at least a little while.....I’m going to be honest and say I don t think I am strong enough (yet) to resist him if he tries to contact me, but he said he deleted my info, so hopefully I don’t have to worry about that happening. I want my life back and to feel normal again. How sad what this affair stuff does to a person, not to mention the dishonesty, lies and how I always feel like I’m in a fog. I’m going to start a new hobby, get back to taking care of ME and my well being. It is not worth it at all. I am on DAY 2 of NC. I can’t quit my job though ....and he is supposed to be leaving in about 6 months anyhow.....I know I can do this. Then it was why should I quit and anyway he's leaving. But there can be a LOT of temptation in 6 months, not to mention she is trying to find "meaning" in his comments. Should she "have" to quit? Maybe not. But would it be better for her marriage? I would say yes. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Yes first she said what you've quoted above and then she said what I quoted further down in her thread. It's not really a matter of not being able to but rather not really wanting to due to her love of the job and the length of time she's been there. I agree that quitting may turn out to be the best thing for her marriage if she can't get her head off of him and get back to focusing on her job (before it starts to suffer) and most importantly, focusing on her husband and marriage. Link to comment
crazytrain21 Posted May 7, 2019 Author Share Posted May 7, 2019 He (OM) reached out to me at work and tried “going there” again. I have maintained NC. I believe I am going to have to end up quitting. I can’t endure this for 6 more months. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Well, at least you have an unequivocal answer to your question. What’s he doing? Trying to go there again or just wanting to be friends? Link to comment
spunkmire Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 He (OM) reached out to me at work and tried “going there” again. I have maintained NC. I believe I am going to have to end up quitting. I can’t endure this for 6 more months. how did he reach out? can you report him to HR? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.