2nd date tonight.

[Lambert]

Honestly if a guy made a joke like that to me I wouldn’t respond and I’d be done with them. I don’t think his overreaction is as extreme as the very strange thing you said. Maybe it’s different coming from a male, but what you said would be a red flag to me.

 

And, also, he may have been joking too, right? I don’t think he was, but over text, it’s hard to tell. Why can you make a serious joke but he can’t? Ya know?

 

thanks mustlovedogs (and I do love dogs!)

 

I am almost thankful so many seem to think my comment was the red flag.... because I didn't think it was. And that's an opportunity for me to think next and avoid this kinda thing.

 

And because I am attracted to this guy... All the other interactions have been positive. So I agree... what's good for the goose, is good for the gander.

 

if I can make a faux pas and he can let it go... It should be the same on my end.... we did start laughing it off and the night moved on. we've been talking still today and making plans....

[mustlovedogs]

thanks mustlovedogs (and I do love dogs!)

 

I am almost thankful so many seem to think my comment was the red flag.... because I didn't think it was. And that's an opportunity for me to think next and avoid this kinda thing.

 

And because I am attracted to this guy... All the other interactions have been positive. So I agree... what's good for the goose, is good for the gander.

 

if I can make a faux pas and he can let it go... It should be the same on my end.... we did start laughing it off and the night moved on. we've been talking still today and making plans....

 

Yes I agree! Great mentality.

 

Just imagine if you were texting a guy and he texted he was going to karate chop you in the throat. Would you find it funny or threatening?

 

Live and learn but looks like you’re doing that well!

[IAmFCA]

thanks mustlovedogs (and I do love dogs!)

 

I am almost thankful so many seem to think my comment was the red flag.... because I didn't think it was. And that's an opportunity for me to think next and avoid this kinda thing.

 

And because I am attracted to this guy... All the other interactions have been positive. So I agree... what's good for the goose, is good for the gander.

 

if I can make a faux pas and he can let it go... It should be the same on my end.... we did start laughing it off and the night moved on. we've been talking still today and making plans....

 

Glad to hear it.

 

In general, be cautious when adopting colloquial speech, especially phrases used often in memes on fb or insta. In print, they are meant to shock and have pictures etc to make them a bit distant which softens the blow. When you repeat it in your own voice it has a very different tone.

 

for the record, i dislike the various Punch in the Throat type memes. I find them whiny and negative and not at all witty. Its as if we have lost perspective ad think this day to day stuff actually matters, or its as if we have forgotten to be grateful.

 

Example - There often are memes about mom life, the lack of a private space even in the bathroom; the desire for wine when others have PTA coffees, etc. I don't find those funny at all! I think how glad to have a child comfortable enough to come find you. Or, uh, isn't reliance on wine a sign of alcoholism?

 

Taking an opportunity to fine tune your ear to language may help in these little texting matters. (English major here. Its a thing for us.)

[lostandhurt]

Go on the date and as you are talking simply ask him. "Hey when I joked about the karate chop thing you got really upset" "Is there something you want to share as I don't want to upset you even joking around"

 

The best thing is to get it our in the open so YOU can decide if this thing goes any farther. You cannot know until you ask and you are certainly within you right to ask, just don't judge him when he answers.

 

Lost

[Wiseman2]

Agree. If you are still interested and still talking this would be a good dialogue, who knows? Maybe he was in the military and has PTSD or whatever.

Go on the date and as you are talking simply ask him. "Hey when I joked about the karate chop thing you got really upset" "Is there something you want to share as I don't want to upset you even joking around"

 

The best thing is to get it our in the open so YOU can decide if this thing goes any farther. You cannot know until you ask and you are certainly within you right to ask, just don't judge him when he answers.

 

Lost

[Batya33]

Agree. If you are still interested and still talking this would be a good dialogue, who knows? Maybe he was in the military and has PTSD or whatever.

 

Or maybe he's just a person who doesn't find jokes about karate chopping someone "in the throat" funny and actually kind of creepy from someone he doesn't know well who types that to him.

[milly007]

Or maybe he's just a person who doesn't find jokes about karate chopping someone "in the throat" funny and actually kind of creepy from someone he doesn't know well who types that to him.

 

I agree, Batya.

 

Joking about karate chopping someone’s throat would be an instant turn-off, at least for me, and would make me think that the person who said it had a lot of pent-up anger.

 

This guy’s response may have been a bit over the top too with the ‘I’m never going to see you again’ (kinda dramatic), but I don’t blame him for having initially cancelled.

 

At the end of the day, we’re all guilty of having said something we wish we could take back, or having said something that was meant in good fun but wasn’t well-received. You’re not alone, Lambert, just so you know.

 

I would just be careful in terms of joking about physically harming someone, since I think it’s risky. It’s just one of those things where if you say it, you can definitely lose and not always win, you know? In my opinion, anyway.

 

I’m just envisioning a guy saying this to me and him assuming that I was to accept it as a joke and not take it seriously. I just can’t wrap my head around this. I’d be super spooked! That said, I’m kinda surprised that some people think his reaction was an over-reaction (unless they’re referring to his actual response, which I found to be a bit dramatic).

 

Anyway, I don’t want to beat a dead horse here.

 

I hope you two had fun yesterday, Lambert!

[Lambert]

Batya, Milly Wiseman

 

THANK YOU! :)

[Metaltwin70]

Lambert,

 

I do not get why this was even any kind of an issue. It was harmless banter and he completely overreacted. What happened to his sense of humour??

 

Come on people. What next? Woman: 'Hey, your cat's kinda ugly ha ha' Bloke: DON'T YOU DARE INSULT MY BELOVED PET!!! BYE!! ENA: actually, that makes perfect sense. He loves his cat you see? I'd next you too.

 

I'm glad you sorted it out though!