I'm not sure what to do!

[Hollyj]

I feel like a piece of crap! It makes me feel worthless.

 

He is an abuser!

[Wiseman2]

All abusers say that. You need to go to a doctor asap for many reasons. One is to address your health concerns in general. Another is to speak privately and confidentially with a professional who can help you get started on extricating yourself from an abusive situation. Stop talking at him as if he has empathy or cares. He enjoys tormenting and abusing you. It's fun for him. The only times he's somewhat "nice" are to keep you sucked in as his punching bag.

 

You have been evicted before. Is he a hoarder? Are you? Usually the filth and decay are so horrific that many people suffer a multitude of health issues. You can read up online about the health (and many other) consequences of hoarding. Why are there toxic substances, mold/mildew, etc all over? Do you live in poorly maintained welfare housing? Where did you live before you lived with him? You need to get away from him. You need to go to social services and get help with housing, food, assistance programs, employment, healthcare and mental health care.

He says hes not being abusive as he's not beating me to a pulp.

[Moonlight37]

We lived in a really moldy house.He wanted to keep his video/ games as they had sentimental value for him.We through most out but those where the least moldy but they still gave me huge rashes when we moved to the other house, so had to throw some out, he says we didn't need to though them out though . The landlord was selling so we left.i did say his behaviour was unexpectable after telling me to shut f up ,he said I was shouting ,i wasn't I was stressed so my voice was louder but I was trying to not about.when I questioned what he said about telling me to shut the f up he said sorry my little ears heard it in a sarcastic way. He says he doesn't mean to be like that, but he sounds like he dose with the sarcastic comments,that s what I get ,I'm not happy with him ,I only get £80 a week ,ill look into rooms to rent in shared housing as I can't trust him ,he said every couple has there ups and downs and I should forget about it but I can't, trust him,we have been having those arguments for a whole year but I have felt alone .He stone walls me ,doesn't listen to me ,tells me to go away doesn't listen when I said his comments upset me ,tells me it's easy to do I'm being over sensitive, ect tells me I don't know when to shut up but hes there saying sarcastic provoking comments that upset me he expects me to shut up and not say anything . He says I'm hard to live with .He gets annoyed very easy I'm treading on egg shell s I've tried to be nothing but nice to him.he tells me has sick of my problems ect so I've hidden them so him if I look upset ,just spoken to a friend and she said some people are prepared to put up with verbal abuse .she said she's said a few abusive things to her partner .I will go and chase my dr referal for my allergies .

[Hollyj]

The bottom line is, is that you need to leave this man.

 

Don;t ever isolate yourself like this again. You must become more independent.

[1a1a]

I'm on the dole at the moment ,he says hes sick of my allergies as they have meant ,he's had to get rid of some of his things as they went moldy and he doesn't like it if I tell him to shut his door if he's using chemicals or the fact that we had to get rid of a bed because I was allergic to it ,it was memory foam and it stank the whole house out and I was reacting badly to it, I did buy him another bed from my own money. I bought him some replacement stuff ,he said I'm hard to love because of my allergies.

 

A person who loved you would want to do the things that make the house safe for you to live in.

 

And they wouldn't tell you you are hard to love because of things about you you cannot change.

[Moonlight37]

This explains a lot, I've come from a broken ,home I had a hard childhood, my parents never said they loved me and still don't and I've only ever been with him as a first love ,so I have had nothing to compare what a love should be, sorry

[1a1a]

Don’t be sorry, be proud of yourself for sensing something is wrong and posting here for outside perspective. You’re already being mighty!

[Wiseman2]

It doesn't matter what or where you came from. Don't use that to excuse all this and make believe what he's doing isn't abusive or that you can't tell the difference between abuse and normal. No one has to have a wonderful TV-family childhood to understand right from wrong, that's just nonsense.

 

Do not try to explain this away with a past you can't change or had control over. The best way to reinforce hopelessness, helplessness and despair is to dwell on an unchangeable past. Do not reply on pop psychology for your mental health. Get real help.

 

Therapy that focuses on the here and now and what You can do to change your circumstances is the best way to a better life for you.

This explains a lot, I've come from a broken ,home I had a hard childhood, my parents never said they loved me and still don't and I've only ever been with him as a first love ,so I have had nothing to compare what a love should be, sorry

[Moonlight37]

I've read that people in abusive relationships don't realise they are being abused because the abuser turning things around and makes things their fault and also this is the truth I didn't realise fully about what was going on with him in till started looking into it ,and my childhood did have a part in how I see things as I thought it was my fault from my mum, sometimes people do need a different view point to be able to see more clearly ,which is why getting a different view point on here has helped me,I can now see things more clearly. Thanks ,I will be making steps to changing my situation asap.

[1a1a]

Cheering for you moonlight :-)

[j.man]

Lol what allergy do you have where anaphylaxis is just treated by opening a window?