blueowl32 Posted January 16, 2019 Author Share Posted January 16, 2019 I would like him to like me and want me. We went on third date. Had dinner then walked to a park. Could tell he’s not as touchy and eyes don’t light up as much as they did last two time. When he took out phone to show me sth I saw him got onto WhatsApp. We went to park but he didn’t try to kiss me (he did before). As we walked on the street I don’t catch him stealing glimpses of me. Guess it’s safe to conclude he’s lost interest. Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 16, 2019 Author Share Posted January 16, 2019 I’m just not hot or interesting enough to make his heart melt... Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 16, 2019 Author Share Posted January 16, 2019 I asked him and he said in text that I didn’t seem to want to kiss ... I think he’s not that interested Maybe just a boy Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 I asked him and he said in text that I didn’t seem to want to kiss ... I think he’s not that interested Maybe just a boy This is all you. You are putting out the vibes that you’re not interested. Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 16, 2019 Author Share Posted January 16, 2019 He didn’t ask if I get home safe His messages are short He is not interested And I’m on the course to sabotage this Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 He didn’t ask if I get home safe His messages are short He is not interested And I’m on the course to sabotage this He WAS interested. Your actions acted disinterested. It’s on YOU to pony up some interest and see if he reciprocates. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Are you into him? I’m on the course to sabotage this Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 He WAS interested. Your actions acted disinterested. It’s on YOU to pony up some interest and see if he reciprocates. Completely agree. Usually I don't tend to think this way but it's clear as day to me and your self-pity about not being hot enough etc. shows this too - I think you're into this just to test men not because you really like men and it's all about you and getting approval from men you think have "hot" physical features. Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 16, 2019 Author Share Posted January 16, 2019 I asked home if he thinks I don’t like him. He said it’s hard to tell... He did ask me to go to his after all dates and he asked me sexual questions I like him. I’m acting this way because all books tell me men only cherish that which they put in effort to pursue.... Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 16, 2019 Author Share Posted January 16, 2019 Second date I also said I was going somewhere for a weekend (like a getaway) and he said he would love to go to the place with me (even he has been before). And I replied but you’ve been and I might go with friends. Last night I mentioned about this again ans said my friend won’t be free anytime soon to go with me. Then he didn’t say he would like to join me again. Maybe this guy is just a play boy and all about the thrill of the chase? And he knows he got my interest and sex hence lose interest ? Could it not be this? His messages are often sweet and short, and used for scheduling dates. He asked if I wanna go to his at the end of every date. Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 I asked home if he thinks I don’t like him. He said it’s hard to tell... He did ask me to go to his after all dates and he asked me sexual questions I like him. I’m acting this way because all books tell me men only cherish that which they put in effort to pursue.... I can’t believe how many times we have to repeat ourselves. You’re acting disinterested. You’re acting insecure. You’re destroying this. Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 16, 2019 Author Share Posted January 16, 2019 Then what do I do I don’t wanna chase him I did show interest but I don’t know how to do it right way Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Then what do I do I don’t wanna chase him I did show interest but I don’t know how to do it right way Ask him on a date. Be flirty. And yes, I think it’s time you chase a little. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Then what do I do I don’t wanna chase him I did show interest but I don’t know how to do it right way Of course you know. You've dated and you have friends right -you've met new people and developed a friendship right? And you know reliability and keeping your promises, keeping plans -are crucial. It's not rocket science. The way you show interest is by showing that you want to get to know him at a person and that your respect his time. Your actions show that you don't respect his time and that you are not willing to put in the effort to make a plan and stick to it. Who's talking about chasing? No one should chase. You already got in bed with him so he knows you are sexually attracted to him. So now you've had a public date but you've also acted distant on the date and been thoughtless about keeping plans with him so of course he's going to proceed with caution. Also he probably senses that you are very focused on his physical features -perhaps he wants to get to know someone who wants to get to know him as a person -all of him, not just his looks and body. Link to comment
j.man Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Sorry, but you gotta get mentally healthy. Whatever shortcuts you're taking; stop. Link to comment
antiqque Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Then what do I do I don’t wanna chase him I did show interest but I don’t know how to do it right way Stop overthinking everything and stop flaking on him. You want to see each other but you keep finding reasons not to, it doesn't make any sense. He's going to get bored of it soon, trust me. There's nothing men hate more than indecisive women. Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 I thought men love indecisive women who they have to put in effort to win. Not someone they get easy. I don’t know what to do. I was being flirty and replied to his texts quicker... but he didn’t reply me for hours :( Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 All the romance movies and dating books are clouding your brain with myths. Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 I do read dating books after failing repeatedly. Conflicting comments everywhere. Sigh. Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 He’s probably thinking I’m weird / losing interest, texting a lot less :( please teach me how to save this Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 I thought men love indecisive women who they have to put in effort to win. Not someone they get easy. I don’t know what to do. I was being flirty and replied to his texts quicker... but he didn’t reply me for hours :( Well no -not indecisive. A woman who is reasonably confident and has her own fulfilling fun life so when he asks her out last minute for a Saturday night very often the answer will be "sorry I have plans" (and yes in the beginning I did not accept last minute Saturday night dates) but at the same time you show enthusiasm "sorry I would have loved to see you and I already have plans" and sometimes add "I am free on ___ day -are you?" (I often didn't and the men who were interested knew that they had to make advance plans with me to see me -and they did even if they were the "spontaneous" type). You already were easy to get sexually. You gave him your body and sex on the first date -which is fine - you can make that choice but if you make that choice the impression you give is that you are fine with casual sex - and that is an impression many people are comfortable with because they enjoy having sex whether or not a commitment is involved and the sexual pleasure is worth the risks or downsides. As far as "get you easy" - that simply means not accepting last minute dates, showing by your actions that you are a person who deserves and gets respect - that your time is valuable, that you expect reliability and follow through. And that if you don't get those things you walk -without a lecture or anger -you just simply politely bow out and move on. And if he wants you on your terms he will return with an apology and ask for another chance. And with grace you decide whether he deserves another chance. In this case he has to decide whether you deserve another chance since he tried to put aside his precious free time to see you and you've been unreliable and flaky. Men feel like they were able to attract a special lady when the woman is decisive about her values, standards and boundaries. And when those values, standards and boundaries are consistent with someone who is reasonably secure and reasonably confident and wants a man to enhance her life not to make her life. You're playing coy here- you're pretending you don't know what to do. You do know you just don't want to put in the effort to do it because you think you messed up by having sex with him. I don't think the sex is the issue -it's your behavior after. Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 That and he thinks I was uninteresting or boring in the date... Sigh. He's not texted me back the whole day. He's done. Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 Anyways he knew I regretted sex the first time. After the second date he asked if I wanted to go to his and I said no but he still insisted somehow after some detouring around the area. Same for third date though I said no. Maybe he's just a player who likes the thrill of the chase and the sex. He even said he didn't lose interest after the sex and that he was not lying when he said he was looking for a relationship. He's so smooth, charming and attractive. Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 I mess up everytime. I just wish that giddy feeling when a guy is chasing me and interested lasts. That they will appreciate and still want me when I show them interest, that they would reply when I text them nice sweet messages.. not distance and not answer me. I just want them to text me consistently and call me. To care about me......... Link to comment
blueowl32 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 but mostly I was just weird in general, flakey to his advances not very pretty or interesting. Link to comment
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