What happens after a one night stand?

[Annia]

You know, I’ve had a handful of men on the dating site I’m on essentially come right out and invite me over ‘to chill’ or to ‘cuddle’ and I always thought, who the hell does this work on?!?!?!

 

Not because I’m judging you having sex early, been there done that got the T-shirt. But because it’s dangerous. I’m going to ignore the fact that you originally said you met him on tinder and Assume your friend vouched for a dude to Netflix and chill with? If so I don’t know that her ‘safety threshold’ is all that high. Please be more careful next time.

 

 

 

As for what to do about this guy, call him, you’ll get your answer quick, he will either be receptive or he will avoid you.

 

I still don’t think this is something but you’re cut out for.

 

I've had countless men on dating apps inviting me for the first meet/date at their home. Others only invite me home after a while with them in a public space. I've even had men sending rants about me not being spontaneous or adventurous for not going to their place on the first meet/date.

 

I now remember a guy who sent me a rant basically saying that he was not going to wine and dine me when we could be at his place chilling but that if I wanted he could get me by car and take him to his home. When I told him "no" his answer was that I probably had some trauma or insecurity and he was not having it and he didn't get what was my problem with going to his place and that he shouldn't have to wine and dine to be with me, that at a first date I didn't deserve that nor does he know if I'm worth it and that I was being rude and trying to use him for free meals and drinks.

 

Really, I've encountered all kinds of creeps on dating apps. For me the worst are the ones who think they're entitled to have sex with you/meet at their house and then get mad when you don't.

[Annia]

Me too. I mean, do girls actually do this??? Apparently so.

 

And yes, my post earlier was about the danger. In this day & age, going to someone's house because you have a mutual friend??? So scary.

 

I have friends who use tinder and dating apps who had girls meeting them for the first time at their place. But I also have male friends who met women at their home for the first meet. Both scenarios seem scary.

[confused0812]

I just wanted to say thanks for all of your concerns about my safety, but I can assure that I was completely safe and again we were not strangers, we had a mutual friend. Secondly, I will not contact him again as we didn’t have much compatibility and it wasn’t mind blowing sex for me to pursue a second round. Thanks for all your helpful insights!

[Honeycomb8]

You haven't met him before irl so he is a stranger.

[Batya33]

I just wanted to say thanks for all of your concerns about my safety, but I can assure that I was completely safe and again we were not strangers, we had a mutual friend. Secondly, I will not contact him again as we didn’t have much compatibility and it wasn’t mind blowing sex for me to pursue a second round. Thanks for all your helpful insights!

 

Even if you have a mutual friend you don't go to the person's private home the first time you meet because you don't know who else will be there, if he will be sober, if you decide not to have sex and he forces you). The mutual friend (do you know that person in real life either??) has never been in a sexual situation with him meeting for the first time.

 

I agree that you shouldn't contact him if you don't want to have sex with him again. Why start this thread? Are you concerned about what to do if he contacts you? Is it an ego thing? I would think you'd be pleased that he's apparently not interested in having sex with you again either, at least for now (He might call you again in the future and then you can decide).

[Wiseman2]

Ok then just let it fade and forget it. Next time date guys who have more to offer...in a lot of ways.

I will not contact him again as we didn’t have much compatibility and it wasn’t mind blowing sex

[Tinydance]

I'm a bit late with the reply but just an observation...I haven't had a huge amount of "one night stands" but what I usually found is that you will either never hear from the person again, or they do keep contacting you and wanting sex, but it's often quite sporadic. Like once a week or once in two weeks or a blue moon you may get a "booty call" text to come over for sex. Normally it'll be when the person is at home doing nothing and horny. I'm not saying it as a bad thing but that's how it is normally. Like there are no particular rules but the person just texts randomly and often they may not make a lot of conversation but it's just arranging to get together to have sex. But there is no requirement to contact again just after a hookup.