positivelove Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Hi, I need advice because I cant move on from this guy ( my decision) even THOUGH I want to and tried for a year. We started going out april of last year, and become exclusive. He seriously swipe my feet, was so kind, so sweet, wanted to spend a lot of time with me. As I started to know him more, he is diagnosed with severe depression and takes pills but he refuses to go to the doctor again, he is divorced with 2 kids of different woman, and he is 13 years older than me. As three months of seriosly happiness he started taking steps back, he become silent, more occupied ( and I understand it he has three jobs and works on call because of his job) , we had a fight because I wanted to spend more time together, and he said he needed some days of space. As those days of space passed he called me asked me out we went to the movies as nothing happened.... until the end of the night when he said he couldnt do it anymore he wasnt ready for a serious relationship and wanted to be alone for a while ( he was recently divorced for a year)..... we broke up and I seriously started calling him a lot, asking him out, and got rejected lots of time. When I saw him at work he was rude, yelling if I didnt do something right.... And I had enough I sent him a message telling him I didnt deserved that , that all i wanted was to be happy with him and I asked please that he didnt reply, he didnt. 2 months passed by I saw him from time to time, and I was having a bad time but I was getting ok, I found my self AGAIN, started painting, I STARTED ENJOYING MYSELF again.... until I saw him and He said hi, how are you .. I was rude I have to addmit it I only smiled and I left. He sent me a text message that night saying how sorry he was, he felt strange seeing me... and He understood my actions. He talked to my friend asking why i was so mad later... I didnt understood it... He called me again, we saw each other I talked to him as nothign happened... and we started going out again in october of last year and I was so happy , he said he still didnt want a serious relationship, he enjoys being a lone and dont want the pressure, until I said I was fine with that... things were fine , not great, he was low key with me , we went out have so much fun, I OBVIOSLY WAS IN LOVE AGAIN, until I met his parents her daugher, and thought hey this most be serious..... and started to getting more attached. we broke up again in january and he says he is going to regret it but he cant give me what I want, he is a loner that was his answer... Later that January I sent a message saying I hope we could be friends one day he says sure, I DIDNT WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND.... I left the work where I used to be with him, and gone to another, february passed he sent me a message I ignored... march passed he stills sends memes, and stuff and He calls from time to time to catch up. until april of this yeart he said he was so sorry I was so good to him, no one makes him laugh as I do and He asked if I was seeing someone and I said yes.. It was true I met someone and I was chill and relax about that, I didnt want anything to rush or anything, he started crying on the phone And I told him that I was happy He said his ego was shattered and he was not fine with that but he still loves me. He went silent....until June I asked him to see him about some problems I had aand we had a lot of fun, and we still talked like before as we were a couple that was weird... later we talked about our life, everything and saw each time later other month, until recently I thought boy.. i love him, icant move on.... even though Im dating some one else... IM WAITING FOR HIM TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND BE WITH ME. a month ago I talked to him saying him I was seeing him beause i thought something would happen with us in the future, And recently I decided it was not right for me, Im living in a dream where he only wants to be my friend and be with him when he wants to in love kind of way, he said I UNDERSTAND HOW MUST DIFFICULT SAYING THIS WAS TO YOU.. I DONT WANT TO BE WITH ANYONE RIGHT NOW..... he called , didnt answer, sent messages didnt answer.... he called my best friend yesterday saying whats up with me ... that he didnt understand me... that He is surprised by my message and that he cares a lot about me. And he also toldmy friend that HE IS THE GUY I WANT BUT NOT THE GUY I NEED... that he is not ready for a relantionship... and i think his actions say otherwhise.... he is always there.... I dont know what to do. I havent cut my no contact almost a month but im still heartbroken As if was yesteday AND IM STRINGING A LONG A GUY I DO CARE I DO START TO LOVE BUT NOT ENOUGH. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Is he your boss, employer or supervisor? he is 13 years older than me.When I saw him at work he was rude, yelling if I didnt do something right. Link to comment
DanZee Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Why are you bothering this guy? He has severe depression. He's working three jobs. He has kids from two different women. He's 13 years older than you. Do you want to have his baby or something? I mean, leave the poor guy alone! He has a heap of problems, and you're adding more strife to his life. Can't you take a hint? Or does he have to drop a piano on you? Leave him alone! Link to comment
thisisrichey Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 testing testing testing Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 I guy I dated comes to mind, where I really cared about him but ultimately only wanted his friendship. He reached out for months wanting to be my friend, but it was obvious he wanted more and was hoping, much like you are, that I'd change my mind. Though it made me sad to no longer have him in my life, I felt the kindest thing to do was to no longer communicate with him. Keeping him around as my buddy on my terms felt selfish, knowing that he still wanted more. We tried for a little while, but in these cases drama usually rears it's ugly head because people in these situations are not on the same page. (as noted in your story) I cared too much about him to let it continue. That and I grew tired of the drama. Your friend has told you repeatedly that he has nothing to offer you, yet he keeps popping in and out of your life and even when you are moving on he tries to throw a wrench into it. He is not your friend. A true friend would put your happiness first. He selfishly wants you in his life on his terms and he gets an additional thrill because he knows how you feel about him. It massages his ego at the same time. Stop communicating with this time waster and move forward with your life. Believe you deserve better. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Why are you bothering this guy? He has severe depression. He's working three jobs. He has kids from two different women. He's 13 years older than you. Do you want to have his baby or something? I mean, leave the poor guy alone! He has a heap of problems, and you're adding more strife to his life. Can't you take a hint? Or does he have to drop a piano on you? Leave him alone! He's equally at fault for reaching out to her just as much. Link to comment
positivelove Posted October 27, 2018 Author Share Posted October 27, 2018 He was like my supervisor Link to comment
positivelove Posted October 27, 2018 Author Share Posted October 27, 2018 Is he your boss, employer or supervisor? supervisor Link to comment
positivelove Posted October 27, 2018 Author Share Posted October 27, 2018 Why are you bothering this guy? He has severe depression. He's working three jobs. He has kids from two different women. He's 13 years older than you. Do you want to have his baby or something? I mean, leave the poor guy alone! He has a heap of problems, and you're adding more strife to his life. Can't you take a hint? Or does he have to drop a piano on you? Leave him alone! I get where you coming from, but he cant stop talking to me either way; i told him everything i felt and he still reaches. And thats what Im doing not replying not calling him anymore. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 Block and delete this guy. He is a total mindf*ck! He has messed with you numerous times- he will NEVER give you want you want- but keeps you around for his convenience and ego. he does not love you. He is stringing you along. Dump your current bf, as it is really selfish to date, when you have feelings for Mr. No Future. Stay single for a long while. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 I get where you coming from, but he cant stop talking to me either way; i told him everything i felt and he still reaches. And thats what Im doing not replying not calling him anymore. Block him! Link to comment
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