i need to have sex

[cedunn]

Me and my girlfriend have been going out now for 7 months and when we first started dating we ahd sex everyday and i love it. Now for the past 2 months i have had no sexual contact from her and we live together. i dont know if its me or not, please help me

[OceanEyes]

You've only been dating for 7 months and you're now living together? I just wanted to make sure that I read your post properly is all.

 

If that's the case, then you guys probably moved WAY too fast and have reached a total comfort level already. She could be used to having you too often, knows it's too available, so it's less desirable. It sucks, but it happens!

 

If you don't know whether or not it's you, it would probably be a good idea to talk to her about it. Let her know that you're still really attracted to her, how much you think about the times you had before, and how much you miss her sexually. State the positives.

[kskm]

So you haven't had any sexual contact for two months? Something is going on.. ask her.

[annie24]

In the words of Dan Savage, my favorite sex advice columnist, OYMSYP! (Which stands for "open your mouth, solve your problem!)

 

There's a reason why she's not having sex with you anymore. You should go ask her what it is.

 

(You should check out his website sometime. Savage Love on link removed. Awesome site.)

[Day_Walker]

There is some problem in your relationship, you havent given enough information to see what the exact problem is. What you should do is find out from your significant other what the problem is, this is going to take some thought and effort on your part. At some point after you are aware of the problem you have to make a decision to see if the relationship is salvagable. Two months without sex and you have only been together for 7 months seems extreme. It seems that the best decision you could make is to get yourself out of this situation because your needs arent being met and there is a severe lack of communication which is an important.

[sidhat]

I think She get bored from you..Give her little bit space and talk to her abt it.. You know the situation is really SUCKs buddy...

[cedunn]

the reason why we are living together is that we are in college and she is here at school from Rhode Island, we live in the dorms together and have for the past 4 or 5 months, there is only tow weeks of school left until she goes home for the summer, i have tried talking to her about this many times and all i get out of her is that she dosent know why she dosent wantto have sex with me, i tell her that i get so frustrated that i cant even have sex with my girlfriend and she says that she knows how i feel but how can she, she isnt a guy, shesays she wishes she wanted to have sex but how hard can it be to want to have sex with me, i mean im not the best looking person out there but i know that i could get sex somewhere else, sometimes i think that she is testing me to see if i will cheat on her. when i ask her if she wants to have sex and she says no it makes me feel llike crap, and i feel like she dosent want me anymore. Please someone help me out here, im so confused

[annie24]

Has she considered going to a doctor or therapist about her lack of sex drive? She can go to the clinic on campus and try to talk to someone about it.

 

That's one way to go. The other is, if you're not getting what you need, then perhaps it's time to cut your losses. Because, let's face it, the one person stopping you from having an amazing sex life should not be your gf.

[cedunn]

I still havent had sex, im getting so pissed, i have tried talking to her about it and nothing has changed, i am so lost and confused. HELP!!!!

[kskm]

Did you talk to her?

[imagi]

There are a lot of people who suffer from a low sex-drive. Be supportive, and ask her if she'd feel comfortable talking to someone about the possibility of that being the problem. If you seem frustrated by your lack of sex she'll feel threatened and not supported.

 

Low sex drive can be caused by practically anything. Maybe it's something simple like the introduction of a medication or something.

 

I hope you guys can fix this though, 2 months is a long time especially when you have someone you really care about!

[allein]

Hey Buddy. I'm in the same situation. And the weird thing is that my girlfriend was extremely sexually active before our realationship. Now, there is nothing. My girlfirend told me that she isn't sure if she's in love with me anymore. Maybe your gf has fallen out of of love too? Our relationship also went very very fast. We have only been together 7 months and have lived together for a short time as well. We do not live together now, but we did for a few months due to circumstances at her home. I am going to post elswehere about my own issues, but maybe she has fallen out of love? The spark is gone?

[OceanEyes]

Main reasons I stopped having sex with my ex-boyfriend during the last 6 months of our relationship:

 

* He was possibly the worst communicator I'd ever met. He went from being extremely attentive and considerate, to practically ignoring me.

 

* He was sexually selfish. And basically rolled over after getting what he wanted.

 

* Bad oral hygeine - horrible breath.

 

Don't ever make her feel like you're saying, "I'm a guy and entitled to this", because she'll want to get away from you faster than the speed of light.

[Iceman26]

1) Talk to her about it. Ask her why she doesnt want to have it. Ask her if its something about you, etc. Ask her what can be done so that you will resume having sexual relations.

 

2) If she doesnt want to work on the problem, kick her out or move out and move on.

[cedunn]

Today i asked her if she wanted to have sex and once again i got turned down. I have been patient about this for a long time, she is going home for the summer next week. I dont want to cheat on her but if it comes to that so be it. I have tried to be supportive and not get mad but i cant help it anymore. what should i do now?

[annie24]

Dude - don't cheat on your gf. That isn't cool. Listen, you don't have a lot of options.

 

1) Deal with this sexless relationship forever and ever and ever.

2) Tell her that you want to stay in a relationship, but that you're going to start looking in other places for sexual satisfaction.

3) Break up with her, because she isn't fulfilling your sexual needs.

 

You're BF and GF! It's not unreasonable at all to want to have some sex. And if she won't do it for you, why be with her? Better to keep her as your best friend, and go find some woman that will be both your mental and physical partner.

 

Here is this week's column of Savage Love, a sex advice column:

 

link removed

 

It's not quite the same situation as yours. The girl would like her bf to be a little kinkier in bed and her bf refuses. Dan basically advises that she tell him that either she will go outside of the relationship to get her needs fulfilled, or that she should break up with him. But, cheating is NOT OK.

 

Good luck

 

-Annie

[kskm]

Listen to Annie! It is ridiculous for you to not talk to her and tell her that you need to have sex. You two are together, you two are supposed to fill each others needs. And I am even starting to begin to wonder why in the world she's saying no! lol- and I'm not the one in the relationship!! Talk to her!! Break up with her if you need to- but don't cheat- it's just plain wrong.

[fantasia2004]

Me and my girlfriend have been going out now for 7 months and when we first started dating we ahd sex everyday and i love it. Now for the past 2 months i have had no sexual contact from her and we live together. i dont know if its me or not, please help me

 

ask her when she is ready. And if she is choosing the option to be celibate you will know how far to go when you receive the answer to the burning question.

[SPark]

No sex is NO excuse for cheating. Work it out or move out, but don`t say you were "driven" to cheat. That is just immature and untrue.

[gidget2108]

First off I am a person that graduated from college and I know what this time of year can bring...stress. She sounds like she is busy with school and she is focusing on it right now. If she truly was not interested in you I believe that she would tell you. My fiance and I moved just as fast as you and it is hard to get time to have sex because of our schedules but we still love each other.

 

I would not keep pushing the issue simply she is going to believe that you don't trust her and that you don't care about her..instead try to see things from her shoes. You began your relationship with nonstop sex and now it is the complete opposite. That is hard to swallow. I would say give her room and see what happens...she may realize when she goes back home just how much she does love you.

 

Absense makes the heart grow fonder.

 

Hope this helps you

[cedunn]

well, my girlfriend left for home last friday and it was soo hard for me. the night befor she left i wanted to do something special so i had candles and everything hoping that we might be able to have sex before she goes home for 3 months, but oh no that didnt do anything. we didnt do anything intimate except kiss. so now she is at home and im stuck here by myself and i hate it. i mean she is 15 hours away from me, she could do what ever she wanted and i could never find out, that is what worries me the most. everyone is saying that i should not bring it p and just give her room. i guess ill try that but 15 hours and 3 months is alot of room, i just hope it helps with our situation. b/c if we cant have sex the next time i see her then we are done, i cant be in a realtionship with no passion. If anyone has any advice for me please tell me, anything will help

[annie24]

Hey dude - not everyone is telling you not to bring it up! I'm not! Look - you need to talk to her about it, directly. Ask her what's going on. Because, like you said, you need sex, and honey, you ain't gonna get it from us!!! You need to talk to her, see why she is acting this way. Then, you have to figure out if you two can work past this, or if you need to break up.