katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 OP, curious to know what your history is. Coming on strong at first (dinners, flowers, etc) having early sex and then losing interest? Or do you move forward to a relationship after sex? Not judging either way, just genuinely curious. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 I have too and always thought it a bit much for a first date -- trying too hard. Dinner not so much (if it's light and casual), but expensive restaurant, the flowers, yes a bit over the top for a first date -- for me. I prefer getting flowers and other small tokens of affection from a man when it means something, not him trying to impress me, which is what I interpret that as. I want to be impressed by his personality, and how well we click, not what he buys me or what restaurant he takes me to. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 True. If you don't really feel it, the flowers aren't as special but the thought behind it is. I never really looked at it as trying to impress. I think this may be the first thing we don't agree on! More or less I do see it as him trying to impress me (which isn't a bad thing necessarily), but it's a first date he doesn't even know me. I am certainly not going to presume he has some sort of affection for me before having a date with me (interest yes, affection, no) so yeah to me it seems disingenuous, his standard MO with every woman on first date. Doesn't make me feel special at all. I could be totally wrong, but that is how I personally interpret it. As I said, would rather be impressed by his personality and how well we click! Link to comment
2005TAHOE Posted May 25, 2018 Author Share Posted May 25, 2018 OP, curious to know what your history is. Coming on strong at first (dinners, flowers, etc) having early sex and then losing interest? Or do you move forward to a relationship after sex? Not judging either way, just genuinely curious. I guess im just old fashioned, she loved the flowers and said that no one has ever done that for her before. I just think its a nice thing to do. Link to comment
2005TAHOE Posted May 25, 2018 Author Share Posted May 25, 2018 How about you dial back, relax and let her set the pace? Can you do that? I can do this, I want to see if she kisses me first tomorrow and then just go from there. Link to comment
2005TAHOE Posted May 25, 2018 Author Share Posted May 25, 2018 I'm not seeing how dinner and flowers is coming on strong. Where I'm from its respectful. Or is it just because it's OLD so it's too much? Every man I've met in person, not online, and went for a date with acted this way. You must be from the south too? lol Link to comment
Long Gone Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 All the best 2005TAHOE! It's going to be a fair few months before I'm ready to date again. Enjoy the date tomorrow night! Hope you guys have a great time! Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 I guess im just old fashioned, she loved the flowers and said that no one has ever done that for her before. I just think its a nice thing to do. Yeah I always say they're beautiful and thank you! I still think it's a bit over the top though for a first date. It's not a dealbreaker though by any stretch. It wouldn't change my opinion about him; I judge how I feel by his personality and how well we click together. So while it's nice, it's sort of moot (for me). But I am only talking first date! Once we start dating, and have developed a mutual affection for each other, flowers and other little tokens of affection become very special. And it's not just him giving me little tokens either, I do as well! Link to comment
2005TAHOE Posted May 25, 2018 Author Share Posted May 25, 2018 Actually no, lol . I did date a guy originally from the south though and it took me a while to get used to the "yes ma'am" because I was like "I'm young, it's Miss" and he'd laugh and say "not from my parts it's not" loved the accent too. He was cool actually but I was kind of rebounding. The funniest part was him always insisting on getting the door. Even if he dropped me off at an entrance, he had to get out to open the door to the place. I still laugh about it because it wasn't needy or anything, it was just his upbringing. Yea, I have the southern accent too, strong lol Link to comment
2005TAHOE Posted May 25, 2018 Author Share Posted May 25, 2018 What are some good second date ideas? She wants to go to a store and pick up a dessert wine that she has been wanting, then maybe dinner again. But I really didn't want to do a movie, but I think its going to be raining here tomorrow night :( Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Actually no, lol . I did date a guy originally from the south though and it took me a while to get used to the "yes ma'am" because I was like "I'm young, it's Miss" and he'd laugh and say "not from my parts it's not" loved the accent too. He was cool actually but I was kind of rebounding. The funniest part was him always insisting on getting the door. Even if he dropped me off at an entrance, he had to get out to open the door to the place. I still laugh about it because it wasn't needy or anything, it was just his upbringing. I hear ya and I think when we're really into someone, his accent, the way he talks, walks, does anything really, we're gonna love! My ex (the long term one), used to get up from his chair whenever I did! Open doors for me, the whole nine, and I just thought it was so sweet! And he used to buy me flowers, and bring home little tokens (like a pair of earrings he saw that he thought I'd like for example) and damn I just thought that was so special! I didn't need him to do those things, hell I was crazy about the guy, but I appreciated him for it; and reciprocated right back in my own way! Link to comment
Long Gone Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 What are some good second date ideas? She wants to go to a store and pick up a dessert wine that she has been wanting, then maybe dinner again. But I really didn't want to do a movie, but I think its going to be raining here tomorrow night :( I wouldn't be keen on a movie on a second date either, as you are essentially sat in silence, where as I would be wanting to get to know them and to chat. How about Bowling? (I'm probably the worse person to give advice as I live in the middle of nowhere in the UK!) Link to comment
2005TAHOE Posted May 25, 2018 Author Share Posted May 25, 2018 I wouldn't be keen on a movie on a second date either, as you are essentially sat in silence, where as I would be wanting to get to know them and to chat. How about Bowling? (I'm probably the worse person to give advice as I live in the middle of nowhere in the UK!) I mentioned that last week, she said she wasn't good at it, but neither am I, lol. Good idea though. What about you sweetgirl and Katrina? Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 How about Bowling? (I'm probably the worse person to give advice as I live in the middle of nowhere in the UK!) May sound corny but I love bowling! There is a cool pub downtown where I live that has a bowling alley, so while we're bowling, we're also getting sort of drunk! Super fun idea! In fact, I may propose my current guy and I do that this weekend too! Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 I mentioned that last week, she said she wasn't good at it, but neither am I, lol. Good idea though. What about you sweetgirl and Katrina? So what if you're not good at it, I'm not either, but it's fun anyway! You know honestly, when I am really into a guy, it wouldn't matter what we do; I read this on another forum but when two people are into each other, they can watch paint dry together and have a good time! lol Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 OP, why not get on line and research local events in your area, and see what's happening? Where I live, there are comedy club events, cool bands to listen to, poetry readings (if you're into that sort of thing), wine tastings, so many fun things to do; my current guy and I went to the zoo a few weeks back and had a blast! Link to comment
Long Gone Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 May sound corny but I love bowling! There is a cool pub downtown where I live that has a bowling alley, so while we're bowling, we're getting sort of drunk too! Super fun idea! In fact, I may propose my current guy and I do that this weekend too! I've not bowled since I was in my teens....I'm 32 now....depressing! Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 I've not bowled since I was in my teens....I'm 32 now....depressing! Aww, I bet you're not as bad as you think. I mean it's like riding a bike, you never really forget. Don't know how far you are from London (or another major city) but it is a fun thing to do, and even more fun when you're with the "right" person! And even more fun when there's a bar there too! Link to comment
Long Gone Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Aww, I bet you're not as bad as you think. I mean it's like riding a bike, you never really forget. Don't know how far you are from London (or another major city) but it is a fun thing to do, and even more fun when you're with the "right" person. About 200 miles from London. There are places far closer.....and I'd love to go bowling with someone special, but I'm not in the right place yet. Going in the right direction, but not ready. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 About 200 miles from London. There are places far closer.....and I'd love to go bowling with someone special, but I'm not in the right place yet. Going in the right direction, but not ready. Oh okay, I don't know your story, if it's posted here, I will have to read. In any event, you'll get there, it just takes time. Hope you feel better soon. Link to comment
Long Gone Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Oh okay, I don't know your story, if it's posted here, I will have to read. In any event, you'll get there, it just takes time. Hope you feel better soon. Thanks Katrina. Couple of threads one about initially what happened, and then my moving forward thread. https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=548598 https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=548804 Link to comment
2005TAHOE Posted May 25, 2018 Author Share Posted May 25, 2018 I live in the southeastern US and the mountains are beautiful, I thought about talking her to the top of a local mountain that has a beautiful look off area and some waterfalls. At night its beautiful but may be too much for her on the second date and being alone on top of a mountain with me Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 I hate to be the wet blanket in the group, but didn't you just break up with your fiancée in March? And according to that thread, you met her in July and got engaged in December. So you kind of have a history of moving very fast. Plus, you were lamenting over your ex only about 10 days ago. Don't be in so much of a hurry to ease your breakup pain with someone new that you make the mistake of rushing into a relationship again. Take time to get to know this woman. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 I hate to be the wet blanket in the group, but didn't you just break up with your fiancée in March? And according to that thread, you met her in July and got engaged in December. So you kind of have a history of moving very fast. Plus, you were lamenting over your ex only about 10 days ago. Don't be in so much of a hurry to ease your breakup pain with someone new that you make the mistake of rushing into a relationship again. Take time to get to know this woman. Holy cow I need to start reading previous threads! And I did ask the OP if he has a history of rushing in; he responded but never really answered the question. I guess now we know. Anyway, agree with bolt, slow down! Link to comment
abitbroken Posted May 26, 2018 Share Posted May 26, 2018 I live in the southeastern US and the mountains are beautiful, I thought about talking her to the top of a local mountain that has a beautiful look off area and some waterfalls. At night its beautiful but may be too much for her on the second date and being alone on top of a mountain with me NOPE. public place only. She doesn't know you. This isn't a proposal. Link to comment
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