Distant after being intimate... Help please - I'm going crazy

[Jammy Biscuit]

I haven't sent the text yet. It's a long weekend due to holiday. So I'll tackle it next week.

 

Just out having a good time till then. I won't pine away.

 

Plus my friend has offered to pick it up... Maybe I'll let her that way I don't have to see him.

[figureitout23]

Please do! I mean it. Your post on the healing board gave me the impression you were going down the 'obsess over it' road and it's just not worth all that, not this early. Don't let your ego and vulnerability run the show, you're in control. After rereading your post, I wouldn't even message him about your stuff for a long while, you went overboard and now things need to die down, which includes you getting yourself and your anxiety under control.

 

Good luck!

[Jammy Biscuit]

To be fair whether I ask back today. Or ask back for it in a months time. It's over. It's been a month since I've last seen him. So what do I have to lose?

[Wiseman2]

Good idea. You still have to make your intent known to collect your things and arrange a mutually convenient time. Remember he can toss it legally after 30 days. If none of it is important to you, you can just leave it. Are you hoping to make up?

I haven't sent the text yet.Plus my friend has offered to pick it up... Maybe I'll let her that way I don't have to see him.

[Jammy Biscuit]

Good idea. You still have to make your intent known to collect your things and arrange a mutually convenient time. Remember he can toss it legally after 30 days. If none of it is important to you, you can just leave it. Are you hoping to make up?

 

Literally it is a sentimental hoody linked to the passing of a loved one. Which is silly I know. I should grow up but still.

 

It's got to the stage now I think I can not go back there. If he wanted to he would have reached out. He hasn't and it's been a month since I saw him last. So there is my answer. I'll do it today and get it out the way.

[Wiseman2]

If you want this item, you'll have to contact him about it. Send him a pre-addressed, postage paid envelop to send it to you. No note no nothing, except "please send the hoody in the envelope provided". Or arrange a time to go get it. Or give up on this item.

Literally it is a sentimental hoody. I'll do it today and get it out the way.

[Jammy Biscuit]

If you want this item, you'll have to contact him about it. Send him a pre-addressed, postage paid envelop to send it to you. No note no nothing, except "please send the hoody in the envelope provided". Or arrange a time to go get it. Or give up on this item.

 

So I've messaged he replied back instantly...

 

He is off on holiday for a bit and said I can get it the week after next when he is back. Means I'll have to long it out. He doesn't have my home address and I still don't want him having it seen as there is no point now.

[figureitout23]

So I've messaged he replied back instantly...

 

He is off on holiday for a bit and said I can get it the week after next when he is back. Means I'll have to long it out. He doesn't have my home address and I still don't want him having it seen as there is no point now.

 

I still think this a bad idea. You just posted last night looking for stories of inspiration. You will probably be holding on now until you two meet, your hopes will build up and if it doesn't end up the way you want it'll probably hit you like a ton of bricks. He's a guy you wanted to date two days ago, what's the harm in him shipping your stuff to you? I really think that's the best way to go so you can close the door now and heal.

[Jammy Biscuit]

Yeah I know I posted out of curiosity if it could happen and be open to the idea. You are right. I shouldn't go into this hopeful as it's more damaging.

 

My friend has decided she will pick it up for me when he is back. That way I don't have to see him and can be done. Delete him and start moving on. Means I can really heal from my last relationship. And use this as a stepping stone in my life.

[figureitout23]

Yeah I know I posted out of curiosity if it could happen and be open to the idea. You are right. I shouldn't go into this hopeful as it's more damaging.

 

My friend has decided she will pick it up for me when he is back. That way I don't have to see him and can be done. Delete him and start moving on. Means I can really heal from my last relationship. And use this as a stepping stone in my life.

 

Good for you!

[MissCanuck]

Yeah I know I posted out of curiosity if it could happen and be open to the idea. You are right. I shouldn't go into this hopeful as it's more damaging.

 

My friend has decided she will pick it up for me when he is back. That way I don't have to see him and can be done. Delete him and start moving on. Means I can really heal from my last relationship. And use this as a stepping stone in my life.

 

This is absolutely the best option under the circumstances. Seeing him will trigger all sorts of confusing feelings inside you and will wind up hurting you all over again.