Calls From Private Numbers

[11moreweeks]

I've gotten 4 calls from private numbers so far this weekend. I got them at 11 AM (cell phone) Friday, 11 AM (cell phone) Saturday, 11:05 AM (house phone) Saturday, and 3 PM (cell phone) Saturday.

 

I feel like these calls might be from my ex, as I haven't gotten calls from hidden numbers very often before, and I was kind of anticipating that this is around when she might try to contact me again.

 

I'm trying to stay no contact, so I haven't answered any of these calls, but it's kinda messing with my brain/emotions. I feel like I should answer one of these calls if I get another just to hopefully crush hopes/aspirations it's her (ideally, it's just some scammer). However, if it is her, then I worry it would be a big detriment to me.

 

Some of the thoughts I keep getting (italicized thoughts worry me):

 

1: She may want to just ensure I'm doing okay

2: She wants to ask again about visiting

3: She wants to reconcile

4: Why isn't she being forthright/transparent? Why would she call from a blocked number? I haven't really ignored her -- I just didn't respond to her last text which was not worth responding to at all.

5: How will these thoughts and these calls get in my way now? I have enough going on.

6: She may just want to tell me how she's doing, including the relationship she's gotten with the person she abandoned me for. That'd be messed up.

7: Will I keep feeling weird about private number calls in the future? She's my first ex, and I've never had an "enemy" or something similar before.

8: It could just be my mother, but my mother shouldn't have my cell phone number.

9: What if my mother has my cell phone number? (My mother had my old number, but I changed it. When she has my number, she'd just send me hallucination-fueled crazy texts and harass me to make sure I'm "okay" at odd hours. I don't want to interact with her.)

 

What is everyone else's thoughts, experiences, and advice with private number calls after a breakup?

[sputnik123]

hello buddy,

 

Answer the call.. If it's your ex politely tell her not to contact you again.

 

If it isn't, deal with the call accordingly.

 

As you say, this person abandoned you when you needed her. She is not worth knowing.

 

All the best!

[katrina1980]

I highly doubt they are from your ex.

 

You only "hope" they are - consciously/subconsciously - which is causing you to think that.

 

"Wishful thinking" if you will. Perfectly normal, done it myself.

 

After awhile I decided to answer one of these calls. It was one of those auto-telemarketing calls.

 

Boy was I disappointed they weren't from who I hoped they were from!

 

I could be wrong in your case but easily resolved by simply answering the phone.

[11moreweeks]

I see. I suppose this is pretty normal. I know my closest friend was getting private number calls that were from his ex, so it's definitely stuck in my head.

 

At this point, I am leaning towards ignoring the calls completely. The worst thing I would want to do is confirm my number to my mother, if it is my mother calling. My mother also called the home phone today around 11 to 11:30 AM, so it would make sense temporally.

 

I will assume they are from my mother and carry on about my business. Hopefully that calms most of my thoughts.

[j.man]

Are all your bills on time?

[ThatwasThen]

Probably Facebook has something to do with your private number being harvested. ;)

[SweetGirl28]

Are these showing as "restricted" or "unknown"? Or can you see the numbers? If you can, do a reverse phone lookup on the number.

[boltnrun]

If you wanted your ex back would you call her from a private number and then just hang up?

[11moreweeks]

Are all your bills on time?

 

Shouldn't be anything like that. I don't really have anything linked to this phone, and as far as I know, nothing needs to be paid.

 

Probably Facebook has something to do with your private number being harvested. ;)

 

The phone shouldn't be tied to Facebook. I try to avoid giving Facebook much info. I really hope Facebook isn't going this far with the data is digs out of me!

 

Are these showing as "restricted" or "unknown"? Or can you see the numbers? If you can, do a reverse phone lookup on the number.

 

They showed up as Unknown (both number and identity).

 

If you wanted your ex back would you call her from a private number and then just hang up?

 

Personally, no. People are weird and unique after breakups, though. My closest friend's ex was doing just that a few months ago.

[maybejune]

In the end of March, I had a miss call from a private number, at 10 PM of a Friday night, when I was about to get off the subway. I heard it ringing quite long, probably until it went to my voicemail, but I was in a rush, and thought I could return this call when I get home.

 

The time of the call makes it less likely to be a scam -- still possible. I had my doubt it was from my ex, who had gone silent after I regretted the breakup and tried to reconcile four months ago.

 

I doubt he was trying to say hello -- if it was him, maybe just to see if I was still here or I had moved away and cancelled this phone number. I searched online, there are ways I can call back before I have another incoming call, but I didn't. If it was him and he masked his number only to check if I have been gone, what will I get from returning that call? It's too humiliating. Soon, my friend called me, and I lost the only chance to find out that private call. TBH, it bothered me, esp. I have mood swing, but I do not regret for not finding out if that was him.

 

* I rarely received calls from private numbers, so I know it is unlikely a scam. And he showed me how to call out as a private number.

 

* to OP: you're done with her, don't live on her agenda, whatever that is. Unless she talks to you in a direct and clear way, let the mist dismiss.