Girlfriend (?) is acting weird about commitment

[KushCakes]

So I've been seeing this girl romantically for a little over a month now, I guess you could call her my girlfriend, but she has been very hesitant to put a label on our relationship. We're both 20 years old, and have very different past love experiences. She was recently engaged and had it called off, which is why I assume she is shy to commit to our relationship. Meanwhile, I have never had a successful happy relationship, most women I've had interest in have only hurt me, before we even started seeing each other for real. My current love interest is just so much different though, and she tells me I'm so much different than anyone else she's been with before as well. I see nothing but the great possibilities of our future together, and our amazing chemistry we have, so I'm willing to work with her baggage. But still due to my lack of experience, I am a bit lost. We are very romantically involved with one another, are sexually active with each other, and have said "I love you" to each other. She apologizes profusely for the fact that she's been so hesitant to make it an official thing, which is okay with me, but I can't help but wonder if that means anything more. I know that she's still in a lot of pain from her engagement falling through, but she's clearly quite romantically interested in me, so I guess I'm just confused. Is it okay for me to continue seeing this girl who feels mutual love for me, but is acting very strange about whether or not she wants a future together?

[reinventmyself]

Do you ever wonder if you are nothing more than a rebound?

Look. . people that are `still in a lot of pain' from their previous relationship have nothing to offer someone new until they have worked through this.

You two do not truly love each other because there is no way you actually know each other in one months time.

My suggestion. . slow down, don't push and give her some space.

My guess is at this pace, she'll run

[abitbroken]

You have only been on what --- 3-6 dates? Why do you need a label? To me, that's when you have fun and get to know eachother - not nailing down "labels". I would not be comfortable if a guy was upset that i didn't want to give what we have a "label" when i barely even knew him yet. To me, the whole going from "i went out with this guy 4 times" to "i am seeing someone" to "this is my boyfriend" is something that happens naturally sometimes. And you are trying to force it.

[j.man]

On one hand, her being 20, previously engaged, and apparently having been in enough relationships to qualify a statement like "you're not like anyone I've been with before," would suggest she hasn't learned how to be happy single in life yet. Would like to think she's applying that lesson now with this hesitance, but I'm guessing it's more likely her still emotionally reeling from the engagement ending.

 

On the other, you've been together a month. I don't think I've ever been exclusive with someone after a month, much less touting labels. Plus, given the potential red flags, it's probably best for both of you to take it slow.

[Al5]

dude please, it is only one month. You are saying i love you to each other after one month? pf. She is using you just to feel better from her previous break up, and I am sorry to say this but she will get rid of you soon too, especially if you are saying i love you already. She is probably bored of you now, sorry but that s the truth.

[Al5]

I don't think I've ever been exclusive with someone after a month

 

haha exactly, me neither.

[thorough]

So I've been seeing this girl romantically for a little over a month now, I guess you could call her my girlfriend, but she has been very hesitant to put a label on our relationship. We're both 20 years old, and have very different past love experiences. She was recently engaged and had it called off, which is why I assume she is shy to commit to our relationship. Meanwhile, I have never had a successful happy relationship, most women I've had interest in have only hurt me, before we even started seeing each other for real. My current love interest is just so much different though, and she tells me I'm so much different than anyone else she's been with before as well. I see nothing but the great possibilities of our future together, and our amazing chemistry we have, so I'm willing to work with her baggage. But still due to my lack of experience, I am a bit lost. We are very romantically involved with one another, are sexually active with each other, and have said "I love you" to each other. She apologizes profusely for the fact that she's been so hesitant to make it an official thing, which is okay with me, but I can't help but wonder if that means anything more. I know that she's still in a lot of pain from her engagement falling through, but she's clearly quite romantically interested in me, so I guess I'm just confused. Is it okay for me to continue seeing this girl who feels mutual love for me, but is acting very strange about whether or not she wants a future together?

 

 

You are lost because she is feeding you lines. I have heard all those things, not from, but from several guys. The 1st time I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but eventually I learned all that is complete BS, way to softly reject you. If you were really that different, she would scoop you up and you wouldn't wondering what was going on. Before my current bf, I dated a dude for a short while who started abusing me (emotionally, would have prob been physically if I had stayed). I was terrified of being locked down so quickly, but my bf came along soon after and we made official w/in the 1st couple of weeks. She is going to jerk you around and that is gonna hurt you a lot, at least that hurt for me in those situations. Tell her fine, you won't be in a relationship, but you are free to see other women. Don't be surprised if she eventually ghosts you or starts getting distant, this is what happens when a person starts saying things like that.

[MissCanuck]

A month is too soon to be committing to someone exclusively, in my opinion. You still don't know her that well that. And what's up with "I love you" already?

 

Of course, the other major problem is that she's not ready to date yet. She's very young and has already been engaged. This suggests she has never really been on her own. My guess is that she does like you, but she isn't ready to date anyone. She first needs to get over her ex (which she clearly isn't yet) and learn to be happy on her own without a guy making her feel better, and you are in rebound territory here.

 

I would not hold my breath for this working out well, unfortunately.

[Wiseman2]

She's only known you 30 days or so. You are pushing her away by going way to fast and getting way too clingy. Slow this way down back into a normal dating pace. Keep in mind she may still be talking to her fiance and trying to work things out with him.

So I've been seeing this girl romantically for a little over a month. She was recently engaged and had it called off.I see nothing but the great possibilities of our future together

[Minikimini]

How recent was this engagement that dissolved?

 

If you're the first guy she got with after her engagement was over, then you're the rebound and that's why she's hesitant to putting labels on things---she is not emotionally ready to be in any heavy relationship, especially if she hasn't had a good amount of time to herself between the ex and you.

 

You are asking for way too much, too soon from her.

 

What you love is more along the lines of how you feel about yourself when you're with her, not her necessarily; and she, you. Neither of you know each other well enough to know if you love who they really are.