God has a wierd way of doing things

[Shinobie]

Well im still having trouble with girls and the fact that none of them like me.I just have some questions to ask about how god blesses some of us with good looks and some us without.I mean what did those people do to deserve to have those good looks.What did they do to deserve those and me not?I just dont understand why Im cursed with bad looks.Why does god have to make some of us ugly?Im jealous of my friend quite a lot too.Hes had 3 straight girls in the last 3 months want to marry him and he turned down 2 of which were his gf at the time and he told them he didnt love them after getting them to do sexual things for him like an a**.Its like gah i wish i had a chance at that.Where as he had 3 girls in the last 3 months ive had a big 0 in my whole lifetime.I dont get why mean people get gf's and nice guys never get any.I feel that i wont have a gf for a very long time and i dont get what ive done to deserve bad looks and nothing.Where as my friend goes along being a jerk and getting girls like crazy.I guess the lucky are just blessed with good looks.

[Shinobie]

Its kind of hard to have confidence when u have a best friend who says i'll never have girlfriend.Or other a holes who say ill never get laid even if my life depended on it.Its really hard to have confidence when u can tell every girl that looks at me is disgusted by my looks i can juist tell.

[Beec]

BeachDude is right. If you make a woman feel the right way, she'll want you no matter what.

 

I have four good friends from college, and the one who got woman the easiest was the shortest one with the least in the looks department. Why? He has confidence and makes friends easily and he makes people feel good when he talks to them.

[Jetta]

Things happen because of karma we're here to work through in this incarnation. You may have choosen this look rather than something else because you thought it would be easier. And yes confidence has a lot to do with getting a girlfriend or not. Perhaps you were this jerky friend of yours last time around and now you get to feel what it's like on the other side of the fence.

[shes2smart]

Its kind of hard to have confidence when u have a best friend who says i'll never have girlfriend.

 

Uh, that's not the sort of thing a friend says...let alone a best friend. Friends are supposed to be supportive and on your side. Time to find some other people to hang out with. You'd be amazed at how it would change your outlook.

[Day_Walker]

It sounds like you need to change your attitude, especially the way you feel about yourself. The root of your problem seems to be that you have low self worth. You end up believing what your "friends" are telling you. Dont even think of it as confidence but just think of being comfortable with who you are. Instead of focusing on your friend, how he gets girls and how he treats them. Dont be concerned with what he does, what it comes down to is those girls dont mind being treated that way so they put up with it. Focus on yourself, dont get down about the way you look. If you dont make changes, then nothing is going to happen. Stop complaining and talk to girls, dont worry about having a gf, just have fun with them, show them who you are and see what happens.

[SimoneTiger]

I think that looks are very important--they might matter less later on in a relationship, but it is the first thing that will make someone feel attracted to you.

 

Why don't you invest some time in the way you look: by doing so you will help your confidence tremendously, too.

 

If you don't like the way you look, you have no right to expect that anyone else will.

 

There are a number of things you can do for yourself:

 

- If you wear glasses, switch to contacts.

- Get a good haircut, it's worth spending the extra money because a bad one can make you look ridiculous.

- Start working out. All women are attracted to athletic men--it's in their genes.

- If you have weight problems, try losing weight. It's not something you were 'blessed with.'

- If you suffer from acne, see your dermatologist ASAP.

- Whiten your teeth.

 

It is also important to consider what else you can offer a potential girlfriend. Are you funny and smart? Are you caring? What are your extracurricular interests? Do your friends respect you?

 

You can influence all of these things by making subtle (or not so subtle) changes in yourself and the way you think... Good luck!

[BillyJean714]

Maybe looks is more important to lots of men, but for most women, we're more attracted to guys, emotionally. Some women do however, go purely on looks. But for the vast majority, among the women that I know, it's about how a guy makes us feel.

 

So yes, I agree with the previous poster who made that comment about 'confidence.' Don't mean to sound rude, but, I personally knew this guy who would always get the hot chicks. They didn't even have to be hot, they were flawlessly beautiful. Was he cute? No. Most girls would call him crater face, but it didn't bother him. Why? He was sooo confident, and that was what attracted the girls to him. He just had a way of emotionally getting to women, and he knew it. He had game without having the looks.

 

It's all about attitude. But, when it comes to relationships, yes I agree, there must be at least some level of attraction. Btw, he wasn't even that tall either. So, it just goes to show that the stereotypical hot guy gets the hot chicks isn't always true either. Look at Mini-Me. He's married to a playmate, but that's another discussion (of course, money had a lot to do with it, obviously).

[ShySoul]

Shinobie,

 

Dude, your going to get a girlfriend and when you do you can look back at all the people who ever made fun of you or told you that you were ugly and getting get a girlfriend and tell them "Take that." And when you do you'll be happier for the wait because you'll know she was worth it and that she's the special one who says what an incredible catch you are.

 

This guy isn't your best friend, a best friend would never say that kind of stuff. And any other guy who says it isn't a real friend either.

 

Think about it. Do you really think he's happy being a jerk? Or do you think its just to cover up some insecurity he has deep down that he is afraid to face. Jerks are really cowards at heart. You at least of the sense to face your problems. And that makes you a better man. For someone to switch from girlfriend to girlfriend like that and sleep with people so carelessly, that's a sign of immaturity. Women aren't going to take that forever, and the good ones probably aren't even doing it at your age. A women wants to be treated with respect and class, and that's something I know you would do.

 

Looks are so subjective that its pointless to worry about them. You are who you are, learn to love yourself for you. No one is ugly, everyone is beautiful in their own way to somebody. Have you ever considered the possibility that some girl not only found you attractive, but found you so attractive that she was too shy and scared to so something to you? I'd be willing to bet that's happened before and you didn't even notice it.

[lovelynns]

you have more going for yourself than you think. A 17 year old guy writing about why the jerks get all the girls. You're wise beyond your years.

 

God made you the way you are for a reason. You are good looking you are amazing you are perfect in the eyes of God. YOU need to know this ... before other people can learn it.

 

Confidence is a great way to show you love yourself. and yes girls will see that. and dont worry the older you get the more looks dont matter and heart does. and let me tell you from just that small amout you wrote i can tell you have heart. Don't worry about girls right now. You'll meet the perfect girl someday when you least expect it.

 

As for your friends. they arent your friends. Theyre jerks. You put that nicely. You are better off without them.

 

I hope you learn how much you have to offer.

[volution]

It isn't looks...... Because we play most of the game of life, basing our decisions and opinions mostly on the surface of things, on the physical and the material, we carry this over to our relationships...

We assume, that it can only be our looks that are at fault.

Yes, perhaps in a bar or club, looks are all that matter (since most people are drunk there!), but in other places, it's what's inside that matters - interests, hopes, and dreams.

If you're good-looking inside, then that will naturally shine through your face, and those who look for that which is inside, they will pick up on it.

Just bide your time...

[ShySoul]

It isn't looks...... Because we play most of the game of life, basing our decisions and opinions mostly on the surface of things, on the physical and the material, we carry this over to our relationships...

We assume, that it can only be our looks that are at fault.

Yes, perhaps in a bar or club, looks are all that matter (since most people are drunk there!), but in other places, it's what's inside that matters - interests, hopes, and dreams.

If you're good-looking inside, then that will naturally shine through your face, and those who look for that which is inside, they will pick up on it.

Just bide your time

 

Beautiful as usual volution.

[guy40az]

I do agree with the comments about attitude and how you act when you are around women but there are some women and men too that base every thing on looks and it really doesn't matter how confident you are or anything else but you don't want to be around that type of person anyway. I do also believe that no matter what anyone tells you most women really don't like nice guys they seem to get board with them to easy. I do know from experience that a lot of women are attracted to funny guys and guys that know what they want. You can't totally change the way you look but you can change the way you act when you are around women just be more confident and don't be nervous around them that will go a long way in meeting the right person.

[lonelynshy]

Well, I don't exactly disagree with anyone in particular but here's my two cents:

It's the mixture of factors that determines your success with the girls. Not *just* looks, and not *just* confidence but both. As well as brains, money, big muscles etc (I don't LIKE it but that's the way it is). The relative weighting applied to each factor varies from girl to girl. Confidence is like the 'final exam'- it usually has the biggest influence on a guy's success but it's not foolproof.For example, I am short,skinny and look boyish, and girls simply laugh at me whenever I try to be confident. I just come accross as a clown. When I am my normal self, girls just turn up their noses at me because I look like an abandoned stray dog. Either way, I can't win.

Regarding God. I strongly think that He has not blessed me in the Romance Department although I do have other (unrelated) things as compensation like a stable family & income. I realize that if I had a really good girlfriend, everything would be perfect for me...but nothing's perfect in life