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lonelynshy

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Everything posted by lonelynshy

  1. lonelynshy
    She sounds really unstable. In fact, YOU should call the cops on her for keeping your things and harassing you.
  2. lonelynshy
    Hi, I've recently started the online dating thing. I got in touch(online) with one girl whose profile I liked. She seemed OK with me but said there was 'someone else' and that she was confused now. But she did say that we could be friends anyway.That was 3 days ago. Should I contact her again or wait for her to initiate it?
  3. lonelynshy
    Hey Kyo, How do you define good looks? Is it facial features, or build, or body language, or height? Gremlin, thanks for your post. You are right; I do use that excuse (women don't like me) but it's hard to shake off that mindset when all evidence points that way...
  4. lonelynshy
    HUH??? When did I make fun of you??? I was referring to Michael's ex-GF.
  5. lonelynshy
    I agree with always_alone. Her parents could have told her to balance study time with you instead of forcing a break-up (now get real. Do you really really think she is spending ALL her time studying? Does she go to Harvard or something?). She must have SOME free time and I don't think her parents should be telling her how to use it. Now let's get to the important thing. Don't wait around, buddy! All that sticking around faithfully and getting back with the girl thing is guaranteed only in fairytales. Do you want to pick up the pieces if you find out later that she doesn't love you? Absense does not always make the heart grow fonder...that's in fairytales too. Her parents are using your niceness as a convenient thing to abuse and take for granted. I know how weird it'll feel to 'be her friend' and not any more, and the only thing you can do is open yourself to new experiences. Don't be her slave...DON'T promise that you will always wait for her..that's guaranteed to take away her respect.
  6. lonelynshy
    I'm neither black nor white. I find that both black girls & white girls avoid dating me. White girls don't like me AT ALL and never talk to me because of my slight build or darker skin while black girls although friendly to me, do not date me. It seems that guys are more tolerant & open-minded. I've seen plenty of white guys with black girls, east indian girls, etc. But I've hardly seen the opposite! White girls usually want a big hulking bad boy and most Asian & east Indian men aren't alpha men. Maybe that's why. They also have a misconception that foreign men are abusive or treat their girlfriends badly which isn't necessarily true.
  7. lonelynshy
    Just to provide some insight into what we lonely young men are thinking Fast forward to age 30. Me: Hi Laura! Wanna go for coffee? Laura: Sure! Why are you shaking like that? Hi Bill! Me: It's nothing. L: Okaaay. Why are you so nervous around girls? Oh, hi there Paul! Me: I am? L: Sure. You must have had a few girlfriends by now, so why are you nervous? Hi Jack! Me: Girlfriends? Huh? What's that? L: Let's kiss Me: How do we do that? L: C'mon, are you for real?? Like this! Me: *kiss* mmmm I can't believe it... L: What are you "mmmming" about? Have you never done this? I've had jerks who kissed much better than that! Me: But this is my first time...please bear with me L: WHAT??? Sorry buddy but I'm not going to waste my time on a loser.
  8. lonelynshy
    I have to agree with Kyoshiro; the lack of dating experience, the knowledge that no girl out there likes me, is the major fuel to my depression. If I were to get a girlfriend now (it's already kinda too late since I'm in my 20's), it would provide a boost to my self confidence. The confidence won't come from that girl, it will come from the relationship and from the fact that I could get a girl. Even if that girl were to break up with me, I would not return to square one, ever. I would be single and lonely again, but I **would not** be the "guy-who-has-never-had-a-girlfriend-and-is-too-discouraged-to-ever-try". I bet there are LOTS of single guys out there but very few of them have ALWAYS been single. That's what Kyo is trying to say. Their problem is that they haven't met the right girl. Our problem is that we aren't right in ANY girl's eyes. It's like job experience, you know? It's one thing to be temporarily unemployed because some grouchy boss fired you. But it's quite another thing to say "I've never had a job in my life".
  9. lonelynshy
    Um, gee Bridget, I have no sympathy for you! You cheated on your boyfriend and dumped him with absolutely no consideration for HIS feelings. What goes around comes around!!! No sympathy here! Do your EX a favour and let him find someone who really cares for him. Meanwhile, learn a lesson. Next time, use your brain, not your hormones.
  10. lonelynshy
    If you mean that both are very common, I'll take your word for it. I have not looked at men's profiles so I don't know whether they advertise weight preferences that often. I don't mind women who go for taller guys because *they* are tall. But there are tons of short women out there who also dig the tall guys. Sometimes the minimum height is a foot more than their own height! That's extremely childish and immature. It means they don't know what to look for in a man, much less appreciate him.
  11. lonelynshy
    Annie, height is a very consistent "personal" preference in dating profiles. In fact it is so common, I would call it a 'societal' or 'female' preference. How would you feel if ALL men specified an unreasonable maximum weight. Otherwise, the profiles have little similarity. There are some profiles which indicate "Christian guys only". I'm fine with that, because she might be Christian and thereforeeee has a fairly valid reason for that, and not everyone demands a Christian guy. There are so many other parameters but as long as any particular one does not occur too frequently, it's fine. Height is the glaring exception. And you can't deny that it is totally absurd. Unless you want to play basketball with your boyfriend daily.
  12. lonelynshy
    If anything, women are even more stringent on dating sites when it comes to looks, than in real life. I can't tell you how MANY times I have looked at a woman's profile, marvelling at how similar her interests are to mine and then I scroll down to the "My Mate" category and there it says "Height - 5'10" to 7'11". Bummer. I'm only 5'6". I can't believe how superficial so many of them are. Imagine the uproar if we men specified a maximum weight for our ideal partner.
  13. lonelynshy
    Sorry I'm only 20 myself so I can't give you advice. But I went through something similar although I never met my g/f in person. But I imagined a future with her and I was obsessively in love with her; I thought we were soulmates and my family thought I was an idiot. Yeah I just want to say I understand your situation. My girlfriend dumped me overnight. I only wish she hadn't strung me along for three years. But you should be asking yourself if it's going to work out. Even if he loves you and you love him, how can you make it work when you're in separate countries. You may trust him but do you trust yourself to not change your mind later? I am NOT suggesting anything either way because every situation is unique.
  14. lonelynshy
    Don't do it! OK, I am a little biased because of my bad experience. But anyway, the only g/f I ever had was an online one for a couple of years. She was my age and I was really obsessively in 'love' with her. It drained my energy, I began to neglect school & family, didn't get enough sleep because I wanted to hear her voice and keep telling her how much I loved her. Boy, was I such an idiot. To cut a long story short, she found some other guy 'offline' and decided that sending me a curt email was the easiest thing to do. For her it ended in a few minutes. It took me four months and a lot of tears to get over her. It's been over a year now. I am fully over her but I don't think I will ever love or trust a woman that way again.
  15. lonelynshy
    Thanks, it's good to know that not all women think like that. Anyway I was focusing on the initial stages of a relationship. It seems that they become more and more accommodating of their 'weak' boyfriend/husband as time goes by and that puzzles me. Why not accept him like that from the start.
  16. lonelynshy
    Wow, consider yourself lucky. This girl is definitely attracted to you (although whether she really LIKES you is another matter and only YOU can tell with time). I wish I could experience something similar. I am a few months away from being 21, never had a real girlfriend etc, never ever flirted with anyone. The most I have discussed with a girl is how nice and sunny the weather is. I am a loser...
  17. lonelynshy
    Well, I don't exactly disagree with anyone in particular but here's my two cents: It's the mixture of factors that determines your success with the girls. Not *just* looks, and not *just* confidence but both. As well as brains, money, big muscles etc (I don't LIKE it but that's the way it is). The relative weighting applied to each factor varies from girl to girl. Confidence is like the 'final exam'- it usually has the biggest influence on a guy's success but it's not foolproof.For example, I am short,skinny and look boyish, and girls simply laugh at me whenever I try to be confident. I just come accross as a clown. When I am my normal self, girls just turn up their noses at me because I look like an abandoned stray dog. Either way, I can't win. Regarding God. I strongly think that He has not blessed me in the Romance Department although I do have other (unrelated) things as compensation like a stable family & income. I realize that if I had a really good girlfriend, everything would be perfect for me...but nothing's perfect in life
  18. lonelynshy
    Please don't take this personally, I would just like to discuss something that always vexes me. Why do so many younger women expect their potential partner to be a sturdy emotional rock? In today's age of equality, it's only fair that men be allowed to expess their feelings openly. It takes a lot for most of us guys to open up. If a guy does cry on your shoulder (literally or not), it means he really, REALLY trusts you. To treat him with contempt and scorn because he isn't 'strong' enough is the worst emotional hurt you could do a guy. It's well known that guys like to be protective but sometimes they like to be protected too. Society's current attitudes don't allow this feeling to surface but it is very much present. Wouldn't you want a man who was open and honest with his feelings, good and bad? Sometimes the roles of mother and wife can overlap, just as the roles of father and husband can overlap too. There's nothing wrong with it as long as it isn't taken to an extreme.
  19. lonelynshy
    I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm about a decade younger than you so you probably feel even worse than I do but I know how it feels that time is running out, and every other guy is running a race and you're at the end. Speaking for myself here, I never understand those who say that eventually we will find love (which may not be true) and that love will be even better because it came late. I think that's BS. Here's my analogy, I'm running a race, getting left behind; I end up breaking my legs and spraining my ankles in exertion and I get a heart attack that shortens my life span as well. And at the end of the race, crawling and broken, I cross the finish and I get a trophy. A few years later, I'm dead. WHAT'S THE POINT then? That's exactly what the race for romance feels like, except that it's emotional anguish instead of physical. (eventually I'm sure it causes heart disease from all that stress though, but that's another story). Here's a related analogy, I get a trophy that's been soiled because it was owned by various other people before me. I'm not trying to denigrate anyone here, but just why would I feel good about finding 'the woman' later in life when she has had far more experience than me, and I will never catch up? Although I am younger than Kyoshiro, I desperately need to catch up with my peers as there aren't very many men or women at my age who have never been kissed, never been in a serious relationship (internet romance doesn't count). Thank you for letting me rant.
  20. lonelynshy
    5'6". Most young women seem to have very stringent height standards and want a guy at least 5-6 inches taller. I think older women are more mature in their standards but I'm 20. (never have had a real g/f, btw).
  21. lonelynshy
    It's not me who is criticizing my height, girls are doing so. As for boobs, hair colour etc I definitely, honestly never choose women based on such criteria. So why should I get the short end of the stick? I'm not projecting myself as a saint or anything. I have faults but at least I pride myself on being fair and kind. Is it too much to expect others(especially the opposite sex) to treat me fairly and kindly too?
  22. lonelynshy
    I've tried both approaches (involuntarily, as I can't actually force myself to stop looking although sometimes circumstances have done that for me). In either case I have been unsuccessful so I really think it doesn't matter either way. Some people (me) are destined to be single.
  23. lonelynshy
    Yes it IS shallow but guess what? Girls are shallow too. They judge gys based on their height and we judge them on their weight. Fair and square.
  24. lonelynshy
    Mackanzel, this is about short GUYS, not short girls. There is a difference in how society treats the two groups. Most men are willing to accept short and medium-height girls. So it's the tall girls who should feel disadvantaged but there are always many taller men around who will take them. But most short girls want a guy who is at least 4-5 inches taller than she is. So if you're a short girl and you've been successful, good for you! But that really does nothing for our morale because it's not the same thing at all.
  25. lonelynshy
    Isn't dating just a race? A race to try and find the 'trophy' (in my case, a girlfriend) before someone else does. Also, I would NOT want to be with someone more experienced than me (and I have no experience whatsoever so that makes it very hard). It's a no win situation. I still wonder how so many young women get away with picking guys based on their looks (ie: should be tall, should have nice muscles, etc) but get so ballistic if we criticize their weight. I've had enough of having to sell myself (and there's isn't much of anything there). I don't like fat women. Fat women are not my type. Fat women will find a guy some day, don't worry. I just don't go for them. They don't satisfy my needs. They be really intelligent, loveable, maternal and kind but they're FAT. That's what matters in life. We're the most evolved species on this planet and we can think for ourselves. BUT, I don't want to date you if your BMI exceeds 24. (No, I'm entirely kidding. I just want to show how we short guys feel when rejected because of our height. And our height isn't even under our control. I don't even get a chance to show off my virtues because my short stature precedes me like a bad odor)
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