donkeys Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 I've never had many friends, but throughout highschool and college (and after) I always managed to stay close to 3 friends in particular. Early last year I went through a massively painful breakup, and I ended up losing my ex and a mutual friend of ours because of it (she took my ex's side, as she was her best friend). Later that fall, I began to grow weary with how one of my 3 close friends (we'll call him M) had treated me throughout the years (I more or less just sucked up the abuse for a long time), but as we were roommates, I realized I didn't want a person like him for a friend. So after I moved out I (as politely as possible) told him I didn't want to be friends anymore over a long series of messages. He never responded, so I assume he wanted the same. Since then I've only had 2 friends in my life, whom I've long considered my best friends. As we've grown older it's become harder to see one another very often...but I at least expect something. The first friend, we'll call him E, doesn't even speak to me unless I speak to him first nowadays. And sometimes when I speak to him first, he'll just reply "work" or "can't talk now, working", or something equally dismissive. It's been about a month since we've spoken now. I've gotten the impression in recent years he was trying to slowly push me out of his life for some reason, but I don't know why. We've never fought and have always been great friends. I've messaged him a few times in the past few weeks but he's completely ignored them, no responses at all. The other one, we'll call him B. Since E began talking to me less and less, I talked to B a lot...also until recently. Every single time I wanted to hang out (it's always been this way, but much much more recently), he was busy. Which I get, we're adults, people get busy. But when he DID talk to me he'd tell me about the stuff he did with others so...I guess it was just me specifically he didn't really want to see. I grew a little frustrated being constantly turned down and ignored, so I just concentrated on work and getting ready for a move this summer...and he basically just stopped talking to me once I wasn't initiating the conversations. About two weeks ago he sent me a message about how he was heading to a movie with this girl he likes...but that's it. Part of me kind of decided maybe I didn't want him around either if he wasn't too interested in speaking to me like we used to. I know people grow apart, especially as they grow older, but I don't know what to do now. The isolation is driving me crazy. I truly, genuinely do not have anyone to speak to right now. I've gone out by myself a few times (like to bars) just so I have an excuse to talk to somebody. In the past year I've lost 5 people I've cared about deeply now. I live by myself too, which doesn't really help I guess. Unfortunately the only family I have is my brother and his fiance, but they live far away and we've never been very close, we don't regularly talk. Maybe this is pathetic for a 26 year old guy to say, but I've been crying about it for days. I hate to be self-pitying and say stuff like this, but I feel like I can only blame myself for this because I am the only consistent variable among all of my relationships. M, E and B were not friends with one another and barely knew eachother. My ex and her best friend were friends obviously, so it makes more sense her best friend would stop being friends with me to support her when we broke up. I know I can make more friends, but I don't understand why this is happening. I don't understand why everybody I care about is just vanishing from my life until I'm truly and absolutely alone. Link to comment
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