selbaj Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 Hello everyone, I am new here and I have a question to ask you all. This may be a little longer thread, so thanks to anyone who reads it and helps me. :) My boyfriend and I both have 24 years and we are 3 years in a healthy and loving relationship. When it comes to sex, we are really open. We love to try new things and talk about things that turn us on. We know that other people attract as, we just trust each other that it won't lead to something bigger. I would say that, overall, we have a healthy relationship and those things are not taboo. We both agree that, as a human being, you cannot control sometimes who will be appealing to you in some kind of way, but you can choose what do do about it or not do. P.S. We do not really say who attracts us, we just know that there can and sometimes will be someone appealing to us. :) So, about his friend. Overall, I am close to all of his friends, we hug when we see each other and talk as if they were mine friends, they have really grown to my heart. But this one friend (he is in top 3 of his friends, I guess), I would say that he is attracted to me. He is an average guy, I mean he is not ugly, but average, he is really smart, communicative likes to joke, etc. When he sees me, he hugs me really long, probably for about half a minute-minute, and with other friend's girlfriends it is just a regular, short hug. He smiles a lot when in my company, but you know that nervous smile. He is constantly touching his clothes and hair and cannot be still. At first, I noticed those little signals and I started to find him appealing (maybe I did even before, but I did not think about it), but I pushed it away because, well it does not have to mean that he wants me, right? Well, then he started to joke with me a little differently than with the other girls in our ''squad''. He started to give me those looks, you know, he tells me something and than stares in my eyes for really long, with ''that'' look. He always tries to find a way to be near me and always touches me (not in sexual way, but you know, ''spontaneuosly'', touch on the hand etc.). And all of that really turned me on, but still I was not sure if he is into me or am I imagining things. So one night, we were celebrating something (it was two nights, actually, lol), and almost all the time he was sitting next to me, talking to me, he would 'accidentally' rub his shoulder against mine, or leg. Oh, did I mention that he has a girlfriend and she was there , too? I mean, we are all together for quite long, boys hang out for about 10 years and all of us , their girlfriends, are with them for 3-5 years, so no one is jelaous if someone hangs out, talks a lot and other things. When he was not sitting next to me, he would look at me from across the room. He always needs to be handed some things by me and it takes him a lot to take that thing from my hand, he does it really slowly while watching me in the eyes with ''that'' look. And in one moment, he stood up and talked about something, so everyone was looking at him, he put his hand around my neck, from behind and started to ''choke'' it (I don't know the term for choking from behind, lol). I did not say anything, of course because well, everyone would notice and I kind of liked it. That lasted for about a minute and I really got turned on. Later that night, I went to bedroom to rest a little and about 5 mins later, he came there too. We just talked, he lied in his bed and we talked about some stupid stuff, nothing happened at all, but it was wierd. Our friends teased us (because we tend to tease each other about well almost everything), but no one suspects anything, I guess, because we all know each other for quite long. And the next day, he accidentally called one other friend by my name. Well, maybe they do notice, but they notice it more if they watch him than me - I mean, he is always the one to start those things around me. But that teasing was just for that part of him coming into the bedroom after me, nothing else, so I cannot be sure if they noticed other 'signals'. I know that I am confused. Those things do not happen every time we are together (except our long hug and him being a little nervous), but other than that, he gives me these 'hints' in occassions when he thinks no one would notice (as far as I noticed), we can talk just like everyone else when we hang out, if you understand what I want to say. And even though I do not have any intentions of being with him, it just pleases me to think that he is into me , because I am kind of into him to (I mean attracted to him, not emotionally). I cannot recall if my attraction towards him started before or after I started to suspect that he is into me, but still, it is there. I mean, you don't go around and choke everyone, right? lol And I believe I answerd this question pretty much to myself, but still I am not sure if he is just nice and teasy, or he is really into me. And I really want to know, so I hope you can help me and that you understand what I wanted to say. And I do not have intentions to start off something with him, it just feels good sometimes when you see that someone wants you, no matter how selfish that sounds, but it is like that. And in those moments he attracts me more than ever. When I am not around him, I do not tend to think about him a lot. I would not risk my relationship just for a moment of passion, but sometimes that flirtation boosts my ego and I feel good and in that moment I do want him but that is where it stops. Thank you for reading and I hope to hear your thoughts on this. :) Link to comment
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