How to move forward.

[Nsomnia901]

Gf and I broke up recently... Well Sept... But we lived together for another 4 months till she moved out Jan. Honestly... In that 4 months it wasn't like we were trying to get back together but were we... But there was too much bad blood...lots of things have been said we can't take back....

 

It's coming up on a month.... And I actually have initiated talks about getting back together.. We still have feelings for each other.... But we don't trust each other....

 

We didn't have the best relationship... We also have an 18m old daughter together and have split custody so we see and talk to each other alot about our daughter.

 

I do drink alot. And I know her dad was an alcoholic and she's had alcohol problems.

 

Does me wanting her back just a want what I can't have? Or because she's the mother of my child?

 

How do I move on.... What do I do... So many emotions.... Can I win her back?

Should I move on?

Find someone else?

She has stated she has no desire to be in another relationship... She says many times she wants me to be happy... And she knows I'll find someone else and that she hopes I find someone who can give me what I need. And that I'm an amazing dad and she loves me and always will...

 

I'm so confused.. I feel like she doesn't want to let me go but doesn't want to trust me until I change....but she won't talk to me.

 

My drinking is getting less and less. I limit contact with her.

I try gym but slack..

I'm always thinking about the relationship.

Then I drink and contact her and try to tell her how I feel....and she is responsive but just doesn't trust my words. . Thinks I'm playing her.

 

Please help people... I need this community right now.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening. You seem to have insight that alcohol for you and her is fueling any problems. That would be the best place to start. It's a win-win situation all the way around, especially for your child. You'll feel better about yourself, be a better dad, a better man. Even if this doesn't work out, you will be way ahead of the game if you address it. Sit in on an AA meeting and see if there's a problem.

We also have an 18m old daughter together and have split custody so we see and talk to each other alot about our daughter. I do drink alot and she's had alcohol problems.

[DancingFool]

If you want your family back, then get a grip. Stop drinking completely. Not a drop, not even a sniff. Stop slacking and hit the gym. Work on everything else to improve yourself. Show her that you can be a grown man and not a drunken man child. Then you might have a chance.

[Nsomnia901]

If you want your family back, then get a grip. Stop drinking completely. Not a drop, not even a sniff. Stop slacking and hit the gym. Work on everything else to improve yourself. Show her that you can be a grown man and not a drunken man child. Then you might have a chance.

I wasn't a drunk.... Nor a child.... I said I drink often.. But I also financially supported the house... Cleaned the house...cooked every meal....did the shopping. Raising my daughter. I wasn't stumbling around daily, slurring and whatnot.

[DancingFool]

I wasn't a drunk.... Nor a child.... I said I drink often.. But I also financially supported the house... Cleaned the house...cooked every meal....did the shopping. Raising my daughter. I wasn't stumbling around daily, slurring and whatnot.

 

When you get to the point where you are slurring around and stumbling around daily, you would be so far gone that you are one step away from the gutter. You don't need to get that far for alcohol to be a problem and cause problems. Alcohol is a problem according to your own post. So stop it completely. Getting drunk and then calling her....of course she doesn't take you seriously.

[DanZee]

What were the arguments about? That will tell you what you have to do. You glossed over talking about what the "bad blood" was. She's not going to get back with you until you address those issues.

[Hollyj]

Stop drinking! Get help!

 

Your main focus should be in your child.