Would a girl purposely not contact you to see if you’ll contact her?

[figureitout23]

So I sent her a text and the link to take the 5 love languages test to kinda share our results and she sent a couple very LONG paragraph texts and I replied with a long text back but I ended up falling asleep and she sent another very long text, (deep conversation) but I didnt reply until the next day.. she didn’t respond yet and it’s been like 40 hours.. how does that work?

She does this a lot actually. Long replies but sometimes takes a day or two to reply but when she replies it’s a lot.. I take 4-5 hours to reply to her but I never take a full day lol.. she confuses me. Then out of nowhere she’ll also call me and just talk for an hour until I say I have to go lol

 

Why are we just now finding out what this post is about? you post enough,we're familiar with your story, just ask what you want to ask. I'm not gonna give my take on it a) because I kinda feel like your want your anxiety soothed va wanting actual advice and b.) I'm not a fan of leading posts so, I'm out.

[DaisyMayPorter]

I’m confused… I don’t really think that there’s much wrong with your situation. You seem to communicate on a regular basis. The only thing I suggest is that you CALL HER instead of texting.

[Sportster2005]

Don't second guess people's behaviour. If they aren't contacting you, don't waste your time on them.

[katrina1980]

Don't second guess people's behaviour. If they aren't contacting you, don't waste your time on them.

 

I agree with Sportster. 1000 percent.

 

I've also never understood the theory of calling versus texting, as some people advocate.

 

For one, many people actually prefer texting and I'm one of them. I've read many posts from others who also prefer text.

 

Second, if someone is not returning a text, they sure as hell are not going to answer a phone call.

 

Which means you either look like a chump and hang up, or leave a voice mail, which leaves you right back where you were when you texted, waiting for them to respond back to you.

 

All that is important is that you communicate, if someone likes you, it will not matter if it's text or call. And they will respond back.

 

Whichever it is, a good rule of thumb is to text/call once, twice tops, if they're not responding, like Sportster said don't waste your time or energy analyzing why.

 

Futile waste of energy you could be spending looking for/dating someone who is actually interested in you.

[Rozhni]

I agree with Sportster. 1000 percent.

 

I've also never understood the theory of calling versus texting, as some people advocate.

 

For one, many people actually prefer texting and I'm one of them. I've read many posts from others who also prefer text.

 

Second, if someone is not returning a text, they sure as hell are not going to answer a phone call.

 

Which means you either look like a chump and hang up, or leave a voice mail, which leaves you right back where you were when you texted, waiting for them to respond back to you.

 

All that is important is that you communicate, if someone likes you, it will not matter if it's text or call. And they will respond back.

 

Whichever it is, a good rule of thumb is to text/call once, twice tops, if they're not responding, like Sportster said don't waste your time or energy analyzing why.

 

Futile waste of energy you could be spending looking for/dating someone who is actually interested in you.

 

Well it’s very hard for me.. you guys really have to understand from my shoes. YES I messed up claiming she’s the one for me, but I’ve never met someone as similar as me. We mirror each other even physically! So similar. When we first met we both told each other we liked each other but she was in a relationship unfortunately.

 

The thing is I don’t ever double or triple text her.. I wait.. and she ALWAYS ends up contacting me after 2-3 days BUT it’s been a cycle for 4 months now and I’m stuck. I can’t move on because I love her and I can’t just move on and never speak to her again UNLESS she never contacts me. Then we’d fade away because I won’t contact her.

 

Unfortunately she does contact me and she does make future plans with me with no definite dates which sucks.. it’s just not frequent enough to be considered dating. I feel like she’d feel betrayed if I dated others so I have no idea how to take this.. not only that but she even said we’d see each other more in 2018..

 

She’s extremly introverted and I’m one of her closest friends and closest guy. She seems to invite me whenever she decides to actually go out.

I doubt she’s seeing anyone else. If I found out she is, ill obviously move on.

[figureitout23]

Wait, are you referencing the 'model'?

[boltnrun]

I thought you decided to stop dating the model.

 

Or is this yet another woman? I can't keep them all straight.

[Rozhni]

I thought you decided to stop dating the model.

 

Or is this yet another woman? I can't keep them all straight.

 

I thought I did. But she called. She sounded super happy. Talked to me about how she’s getting a new full time job that actually has a schedule. (9-5) Told me the two of us should go on a trip to see her favorite band together.. talked a lot about future plans. (All of this happening while I thought I was done.)

 

She has no idea how I feel. No idea that I love her. She doesn’t know how much I think about her because I never once blowed her up or told her how much im into her. The most I’ve ever told her was how funny she is and that she’s beautiful. I always keep my cool and just mirror her actions.. put in whatever she puts in. I never want to do too much.

 

It’s just very hard for me to move on when I have no idea where her and I stand. Maybe she considers me hers? Idk.

Ik for sure she’s not friendzoning me though. I have plenty reason why. She told me she had an intimate dream with her and I... she didn’t have to say it even if it was (just a dream) ik I wouldn’t. (I’m adding that part in as one example why ik she’s not fz me.)

 

This post wasn’t supposed to be about her again. YOU guys keep thinking it is about someone. This was just a GENERAL question that I was wondering.

[DaisyMayPorter]

How do you “love” her if you are not dating her? Also - I disagree with texting being the main form of communication. Texting is good for some, but not all, communication. Phone calls, while sometime scarier, are so much more personal and an easier way to get closer to people, it’s nice to hear their voice, especially in a relationship.

[figureitout23]

I thought I did. But she called.

 

 

 

This post wasn’t supposed to be about her again. YOU guys keep thinking it is about someone. This was just a GENERAL question that I was wondering.

 

Did you really just..... after you just... when you're the one who....I can't....

[boltnrun]

[quote=Rozhni;6941082

 

This post wasn’t supposed to be about her again. YOU guys keep thinking it is about someone. This was just a GENERAL question that I was wondering.

 

So I sent her a text and the link to take the 5 love languages test to kinda share our results and she sent a couple very LONG paragraph texts and I replied with a long text back but I ended up falling asleep and she sent another very long text, (deep conversation) but I didnt reply until the next day.. she didn’t respond yet and it’s been like 40 hours.. how does that work?

She does this a lot actually. Long replies but sometimes takes a day or two to reply but when she replies it’s a lot.. I take 4-5 hours to reply to her but I never take a full day lol.. she confuses me. Then out of nowhere she’ll also call me and just talk for an hour until I say I have to go lol

 

This is pretty specific. YOU were the one who wrote this, not us guys lol!

[Rozhni]

So I sent her a text and the link to take the 5 love languages test to kinda share our results and she sent a couple very LONG paragraph texts and I replied with a long text back but I ended up falling asleep and she sent another very long text, (deep conversation) but I didnt reply until the next day.. she didn’t respond yet and it’s been like 40 hours.. how does that work?

She does this a lot actually. Long replies but sometimes takes a day or two to reply but when she replies it’s a lot.. I take 4-5 hours to reply to her but I never take a full day lol.. she confuses me. Then out of nowhere she’ll also call me and just talk for an hour until I say I have to go lol

 

This is pretty specific. YOU were the one who wrote this, not us guys lol!

 

I was replying to Katrina.

[figureitout23]

I was replying to Katrina.

 

But you quoted boltnrun.....

[Rozhni]

But you quoted boltnrun.....

 

I never got the tutorial

[katrina1980]

How do you “love” her if you are not dating her? Also - I disagree with texting being the main form of communication. Texting is good for some, but not all, communication. Phone calls, while sometime scarier, are so much more personal and an easier way to get closer to people, it’s nice to hear their voice, especially in a relationship.

 

To each his own I guess.

 

I find it easier to open up when texting/emailing versus phone. And depending on the person I am communicating with, our texts/emails are much more personal as well.

 

Of course, nothing beats IN PERSON for getting closer and building intimacy.

 

But if I had a choice between text/email or phone call, much prefer texting/emailing for reasons stated. I literally clam up over the phone until I get to know and feel comfortable with someone.

 

But yeah everyone is different, but one isn't necessarily better then the other, it's subjective.

[figureitout23]

I never got the tutorial

 

True, but you have 153 posts, I'm assuming you're at least familiar with how the quoting system works.

 

Look dude, youre coming to us for help. You're gonna catch more bees with honey than vinegar, you brought up specific examples unprovoked I might add and then posted about being in love, nothing wrong with that at all, but own it. Hard to deny what's in black and white.

 

Why lie? Why p*ssyfoot around, be honest, ask your question.

[Rozhni]

Okay I’ll ask another question later tonight.

Hopefully you will be considerate. Stay tuned!

[Wiseman2]

The big mystery here is why aren't you asking her out? Why are you in secret crush mode, yet pretending these play-it-cool pickup artist tricks will work. As long as you do this nothing will materialize. While you're 'being cool and not doing much' other guys will step up and ask her out on dates.

Told me the two of us should go on a trip to see her favorite band together.. talked a lot about future plans. I always keep my cool and just mirror her actions.. put in whatever she puts in. I never want to do too much.