I'm no good with kids and worried it might put her off me

[dburnsafc]

I'm a 27 year old male and I've been seeing this girl lately but this question could still apply no matter who I'm with I think. I know there is a families forum on here but I believe this post is more relevant here, because I worry that women might be put off me.

 

I feel like everyone around me is great with kids except for me. I have two nephews and a niece, aged 3, 5 and 8. My siblings and parents are great with them, they can get them excited by talking to them, teasing them and playing with them. And the same goes for my friends with their nieces and nephews too.

 

I can't do any of that. I've at least got a little better over the last few years and can chat to them, maybe I'll tell them that I like their new clothes or haircut, or I'll ask them about what they're playing with. But that's about the extent of how good I am at entertaining kids.

 

Also my siblings never ask me to babysit, and I don't blame them, because we all know I'd be no good at it.

 

But the girl I'm seeing has a little nephew and she plays with him all the time as well as babysits him every once in a while. She often talks about how she misses him if she hasn't seen him for a while and how she can't wait to see him and play with him again.

 

If we properly get together then I feel like I should say something in advance that I'm not great with kids, otherwise it could get really awkward if I meet her nephew or she meets mine, I'll probably get really nervous and be even worse with kids than usual if she is around.

 

It makes me feel like a bad uncle... I like kids but I just don't know what to do when I'm around them and I feel this would put a lot of women off me.

[abitbroken]

I have uncles that didn't "play" with me, but had thoughtful conversations with me about things i was interested in. You don't have to be the uncle that wrestles with his nephews. She will see how you are around children soon enough when she meets your nieces/nephews.

[catfeeder]

I worry that women might be put off me.

 

Consider that you're not mass marketing yourself to 'women' in the plural, you're seeking the RIGHT partner for you. That's someone who 'gets you' and loves you for who you are, not for some paste-on personality you worry about being unable to adopt.

 

Both my niece and my nephew are not into kids. They've each found partners that feel the same way. Just be who you ARE, and if someone doesn't align with that, then let her pass early to free you up for meeting someone who does.

 

Head high, and worry less.

[DanZee]

You don't have to be good with kids. A lot of guys aren't until they have kids of their own. Just let your gf play with the nephew and be in the background. You'll get better when you have kids of your own.

[panther]

I'm not good with kids either and due to that also keep my distance when babies or toddlers are around. I am now first time pregnant and I know I will love my baby more than anything else and that I will know how to play and interact with her.

 

If your fear is that your partner would judge you to be a bad parent because you are not good around kids, that would be a wrong judgement from her part.

[dburnsafc]

Thanks for the responses, I guess I'm worrying about it too much.

 

If anything, I think this girl would be pretty understanding

[tattoobunnie]

My husband never ever interacted with other kids in his twenties - he didn't have any cousins his age and he's an only child.

 

But once you have your own kids, totally different. He is a very hands on dad. I would not worry about not being good with kids. Most people have never even changed a diaper until they've had their own kid!

[Wiseman2]

No no no. they can't relate to adult compliments and questions, etc. Get in touch with being a kid yourself. Get on the floor and just start playing with them as if you are a kid yourself. :welcoming:

maybe I'll tell them that I like their new clothes or haircut, or I'll ask them about what they're playing with.