Social Media/very bad judgment

[my3lans]

I have done something for which I am deeply ashamed.

 

Christmas Eve, after I'd already had a little to drink, I was sent a picture of my ex bf, that I recently broke up with who SWORE up and down he was not getting back together with his ex wife from 9 years ago, WITH the ex wife.

 

I COMPLETELY LOST MY S***!!!!

 

I cussed him, his ex, his brother, his sister-in-law, his cousin and his best friend. I also posted the picture on facebook and exposed him as a liar (and a few other harsh words for the both of them).

 

My friends talked me into taking it down and I did within about 30 minutes. I KNOW that was wrong, no matter how badly I felt and probably had it not been CHRISTMAS and alcohol had not been involved (and yes, I am quitting drinking), I probably never would have done it.

 

I've read up on libel, slander, etc. and I know I can't be sued. Should I alert my boss to what I did in case somebody tries to get me fired over it?

 

Opinions?

[Wiseman2]

Block him from your phone and all social media. Hopefully no one saw it. Don't tell anyone unless they did happen to see it and ask about it. Your boss doesn't want or need to know your personal drama. Please don't use the "I was drunk excuse". Get help.

I also posted the picture on facebook and exposed him as a liar and a few other harsh words for the both of them. My friends talked me into taking it down and I did within about 30 minutes. and yes, I am quitting drinking

[my3lans]

Not an excuse, just a fact. When hurt, people act irrationally and alcohol makes that worse. I am trying to get an appointment for counseling because I recognize I have some issues but right now everything is closed for the holidays--which I find ironic given that this time of year is when people need mental help the most. Thanks for your opinion.

[Starlight925]

I read your initial thread about the relationship and the breakup: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=543848

 

In summary:

-You knew each other as kids, but you both married other people and had kids. He's been divorced for 9 years and constantly slammed his ex-wife.

-You got together, and had the most blissful 2 months on the planet. He couldn't believe his luck in finding you, and he confessed that he always had a torch for you! OMG, what heaven!

-And he constantly pushed for future talks! Let's look at how and when to move in together, be out in public on Facebook, plan for our life together! What bliss.

-And then, his ex-wife gets wind of his new relationship on Facebook, and suddenly, the cheating biatch from h*ll (his descriptions!) wants him back.

-He's suddenly harder to reach. Takes longer to respond to texts. Gets a little miffed when one of your friends makes a "marriage" comment on one of your posts.

-Then, just as suddenly as he blew in, he blows out. But not before blaming you for your anxiety! Has the nerve to blame your anxiety on the fall of the relationship, as your anxiety just can't seem to handle his constant changes in plans, which of course, are all due to his job (B.S.). (deflection)

 

Horse hockey.

 

No wonder you got so pissed off when you realized they did get back together. I don't blame you one bit. This guy Lovebombed you, then discarded you as quickly as he could once he realized he had a new person who wanted him.

 

This follows such a textbook pattern: Idealize, Future Fake, Devalue (using your "anxiety" as his excuse and his way to devalue you), Replace (his ex!), Discard. You can IM me if you want more info on all of this.

 

As for your drunk SM posting: fuggedabout it. If anyone asks, say you were reeling from exactly what you were reeling from: your "perfect" new guy went back to his ex, right at the holidays. Sprinkle in 1 cup of eggnog, and you have yourself a trashing post. You had the foresight to delete it, now just move on from it.

 

I agree with Wiseman on getting help, in the form of therapy, to help you recognize your patterns with men and come up with strategies to find a healthier partner. This isn't about anything wrong with you, but in how you're going about handling your emotions and your feelings towards men. Guess what....I'm going through it myself, currently. You are not alone.

 

When I broke up with my exBF a few months ago after one more lie, I was sooooooo tempted to write a long, scathing, trashing Facebook post! I even wrote it!! But I wrote in in a word doc., and I amended it and saved it! But I kept sleeping on it until the actual urge to post it was gone. Heck, if I'm being honest, I still have the urge sometimes!

 

It's human.....but we do have to remember that posting something like that rarely hurts the other person, but it always hurts us.

[Seraphim]

Make your FB private and don’t add your employer to any mess.

[sputnik123]

"This follows such a textbook pattern: Idealize, Future Fake, Devalue (using your "anxiety" as his excuse and his way to devalue you), Replace (his ex!), Discard. You can IM me if you want more info on all of this".

 

"It's human.....but we do have to remember that posting something like that rarely hurts the other person, but it always hurts us"

 

These are so true - thanks LHGIRL.. I feel the first one so much :/

[Hollyj]

Do not mention this to anyone, ever again.

 

Why is your employer a FB friend?

[my3lans]

I read your initial thread about the relationship and the breakup: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=543848

 

In summary:

-You knew each other as kids, but you both married other people and had kids. He's been divorced for 9 years and constantly slammed his ex-wife.

-You got together, and had the most blissful 2 months on the planet. He couldn't believe his luck in finding you, and he confessed that he always had a torch for you! OMG, what heaven!

-And he constantly pushed for future talks! Let's look at how and when to move in together, be out in public on Facebook, plan for our life together! What bliss.

-And then, his ex-wife gets wind of his new relationship on Facebook, and suddenly, the cheating biatch from h*ll (his descriptions!) wants him back.

-He's suddenly harder to reach. Takes longer to respond to texts. Gets a little miffed when one of your friends makes a "marriage" comment on one of your posts.

-Then, just as suddenly as he blew in, he blows out. But not before blaming you for your anxiety! Has the nerve to blame your anxiety on the fall of the relationship, as your anxiety just can't seem to handle his constant changes in plans, which of course, are all due to his job (B.S.). (deflection)

 

Horse hockey.

 

No wonder you got so pissed off when you realized they did get back together. I don't blame you one bit. This guy Lovebombed you, then discarded you as quickly as he could once he realized he had a new person who wanted him.

 

This follows such a textbook pattern: Idealize, Future Fake, Devalue (using your "anxiety" as his excuse and his way to devalue you), Replace (his ex!), Discard. You can IM me if you want more info on all of this.

 

As for your drunk SM posting: fuggedabout it. If anyone asks, say you were reeling from exactly what you were reeling from: your "perfect" new guy went back to his ex, right at the holidays. Sprinkle in 1 cup of eggnog, and you have yourself a trashing post. You had the foresight to delete it, now just move on from it.

 

I agree with Wiseman on getting help, in the form of therapy, to help you recognize your patterns with men and come up with strategies to find a healthier partner. This isn't about anything wrong with you, but in how you're going about handling your emotions and your feelings towards men. Guess what....I'm going through it myself, currently. You are not alone.

 

When I broke up with my exBF a few months ago after one more lie, I was sooooooo tempted to write a long, scathing, trashing Facebook post! I even wrote it!! But I wrote in in a word doc., and I amended it and saved it! But I kept sleeping on it until the actual urge to post it was gone. Heck, if I'm being honest, I still have the urge sometimes!

 

It's human.....but we do have to remember that posting something like that rarely hurts the other person, but it always hurts us.

 

You are my new best friend! You summarized it so perfectly. I'm a smart and strong woman and I NEVER saw this coming and I think that's what burns me up the most--that I let a twerp like HIM do this to me. As ashamed as I am for the post, I STILL catch myself thinking of ways to hurt him.

 

And it conjures up old feelings like why did I ever get divorced and back out into the dating world in the first place? Oh if I had a time clock!

 

Thank you so much!

[my3lans]

Make your FB private and don’t add your employer to any mess.

 

It is. I'm not friends with anyone I work with on Facebook and my employment isn't listed on my profile page.

[my3lans]

Do not mention this to anyone, ever again.

 

Why is your employer a FB friend?

 

No, see above.

[Hollyj]

Then why would you tell your boss? You did not slander anyone, and so there is no concern.

[tattoobunnie]

I usually become friends with some staff after they leave. And I don't hold it against them if their partner is a total di*k, and they need to trash-talk someone out of the system. It's not like you are trash-talking customers or the company. Sorry, you got duped. It happens to the best of us!!