I feel so stupid

[Why9]

This may be long but i would really appreciate any feedback. So last year after four years my ex girlfriend breaks up with me we had our up's and downs but i really loved her so it was a shock to me when she ended things but not even two weeks into the breakup i find out she's already seeing another guy. I make a few attempts to get her back it doesn't work so i go NC well after three months of not hearing from me she reaches out to me out of the blue i tell her i want absolutely nothing to do with her if she's still with that guy and she proceeds to tell me she still loves me and misses me and she ends it with the other guy and we get back together. We're together for about three months and she dumps me again and goes back to the other guy this goes on for almost the entire last year of her coming to me for a few months then leaving me. Finally back in july I've had enough and walk away fast forward to the end of September its her birthday i send her a text wishing her a happy birthday and she responds with her birthday wish is to see me and have coffee and talk. Like the idiot i am i agree because i would be lying if I said I didn't still love her so we meet for coffee she tells me that she broke it off with the other guy in August and that she has missed me and realized no one will love her like i do but she doesn't want a relationship at the moment but wants to spend time together. So from September to December we're together but were not if that makes sense shes the only one im talking to and sleeping with now ive never been to big on social media im in my mid thirties and she's in her early thirties and she knows this but last week i just got this weird feeling to check out her Facebook so i reactivated my account and checked out her page and i see pictures of her and this other guy that was posted in November when supposedly she hadn't talked to him since August from what she had told me . To be completely honest i lost it because i still loved this girl despite all the heartache she put me through so i called her out on her lies she had nothing to say its been two weeks of NC now but its driving me crazy i miss her but im so upset i just dont know how to move on.

[Starlight925]

3 words: She's using you.

Oh, and 3 more: she's a liar.

 

She has a tiff with the other guy, so she contacts you, because she knows you'll be there. She needs her poor little ego soothed because he maybe said some mean things to her, so she comes running to you, and then she lies about it to you.

 

You shouldn't feel "so stupid". You should feel "so angry", and block her from social media, block her from your phone, and delete her from your life.

[Tinydance]

Wow I have to say that after four years of being together I certainly don't think she loves you or even respects you at all! That's true, she has been using you and playing both you and the other guy. And she's been taking you for an idiot and blatantly lying to you too. This girl wants her cake and to eat it too and she doesn't actually seem to care about you or the other guy much at all. You need to be the stronger person here because she's just taking advantage of you because you keep taking her back. You need to end this and walk away from her FOREVER. Only a cruel person would keep doing something like this. She's probably just keeping you on the backburner because things keep going sour with the other guy and she's afraid to be alone. I know it's not easy because you love her and you have so much history together but this relationship is basically over anyway because she's just using you at this point.

[reinventmyself]

You are her fallback guy. Her filler. Do not alloy her to do this to you.

[Ziggy123]

Wow you are both in your thirties, this sounds like high school drama. You see the pattern and know it will keep happening. Stop letting her pull you back in and remind yourself of all the ways she hurt you.

[Why9]

Thanks guys i appreciate it and you guys are right its cruel and selfish of her especially knowing how I feel im trying to just move on with my life and put all this behind me.

[semaj281]

Sorry you're going through all of this man. Even if you pour your heart out for her, if those feelings aren't reciprocated (which they clearly are not), this will always be a cycle of you being used.

[Pleasedonot5]

When she asks for you back this time, how will you respond? Will you break the cycle, or allow her to continue using you? The choice is completely yours.

[Hollyj]

Good God!

 

You have no one to blame but yourself! What does she have to do for you to wake up!

 

Dude, where is your self respect!!!!

[Why9]

Like i said i confronted her with what i found on her Facebook and told her i wanted nothing to do with her i normally dont burn bridges but i charred this one to ashes.

[Pleasedonot5]

Okay, good, so it's done. That means it's done. Don't go back, even if she asks for you back.

[SweetGirl28]

She set you up by saying she didn't want a relationship at the moment.

You're her fallback guy. All for her own selfish purpose. How dumb is she to

post a pic anyway? It's almost like she wanted to be caught to have you fight for her maybe.

She's a player, and a user, and she was most likely telling him she wasn't with you.

I know it's hard, but let her go. Do not contact her, you're not wrong. She lied to you.

[mountaingirl]

I feel like you're going to get pretty angry with everything in a short while once you gain some clarity with time and realise how much she used you. Unfortunately you loved someone that really didn't deserve it, and abused it. I feel really bad for you. This is going to hurt. At least you can be glad for how you stood up for yourself this final time....It will be final right?