Disliking my nephew because I can’t stand his mother

[Marshmellow12]

This is going to sound crazy. I’m the one having these feelings and it even sounds crazy to me. My sister in law and I used to be somewhat close. I considered her a friend. She had a baby a year ago. Long story short, she has been causing problems in my marriage to her brother by getting involved with my husband’s ex. I am so hurt by this that me and my sister in law no longer have a relationship. I have so much hate for her that I can’t even stand to be around her baby!! I feel like these feelings I have are somewhat sick. I literally don’t even want to hold him because he’s a part of her. What is wrong with me?? Is this even remotely normal?

[Seraphim]

I would not say it is normal, no and very misplaced. But if you feel such anger towards an infant definitely don’t hold him because he will feel that. That is entirely not fair to him .

[Capricorn3]

I would not say it is normal, no and very misplaced. But if you feel such anger towards an infant definitely don’t hold him because he will feel that. That is entirely not fair to him .

 

I agree with all of the above. Also, what do you mean when you say ..."getting involved with my husband’s ex.? Involved how?

[Marshmellow12]

Reconnecting with her and trying to bring her around the family. I know it sounds petty but I find it disrespectful and hurtful.

[Seraphim]

How about if you look at this innocent little being as he is part of your husband too.

[Capricorn3]

Reconnecting with her and trying to bring her around the family. I know it sounds petty but I find it disrespectful and hurtful.

 

I would agree it is disrespectful and hurtful. But that is no reason to take it out on an innocent baby. This child has absolutely nothing to do with anything and has no control over what his mother does. Your dislike and anger is very misplaced.

[sublimek2]

You're projecting your feelings for your sister onto your nephew. Your nephew is innocent and doesn't deserve the negative feelings you are harboring. He has literally done nothing. If you can't make the distinction between your nephew and your sister, then I feel you need to remove yourself from his life for the time being.

[Hollyj]

Why can't she be friends with this woman? What did the ex do to you?

 

I'm wondering why you are still with this guy, after he would not pay for redoing your teeth, due to his rage?

 

"I feel like an idiot. I’ve been crying all night about this. I honestly think it’s jealousy. My husband and I don’t have a perfect marriage (far from it) and I keep having irrational thoughts that if his sister likes the ex better than my husband probably did too. She’s better than me in every way (looks, better family, makes more money, smarter). And I have extremely low self esteem. I don’t really have a family so my husband is all I have and I think I’m just so scared of losing him"

The problem is your insecurities and marriage. Why are you making your husband your entire life? Do you have friends?

[charity]

You are suffering from feelings of jealousy that you really should try to work on.