Boyfriend ex maybe having his baby

[kitkatsax]

So I posted on here yesterday telling how my boyfriend has to strangely go visit his ex girlfriends baby even tho he claimed the child isn't his. But come to find out he has to take a DNA test that's why his mom has been on him. Like I feel stupid for being mad, because she got pregnant before I was even in the picture. Even his mom said I was stupid for feeling some way about this. But when me and him first starting dating I asked him if he had any kids because I couldn't be with him if he did. He said he was a father figure and that his recent ex is pregnant but he keep making it known that he isn't the father. Now look, our relationship is on the rocks. Am I being stupid and selfish for not wanting to be with him for having a kid. He says our relationship won't change but if that baby is his I know for a fact it will. He keeps saying this proves to him that I don't love him like I say I do. I just don't wanna be jealous of a baby. Like I wish they could see that this hurts me too because it put our relationship at risk and I don't like that. But by all means I don't want to be pushed aside so I will guard my heart but be honest. What's your advice.

[pippy longstocking]

No of course you're not ....remember , we are all allowed to have our own desires and needs and follow what WE want ...there are no rules .

 

Your relationship will change in the way that he is possibly responsible for a little human being now , so his priorities will change , he has commitments , time and money , he will be in contact with the mum . It doesn't mean he will stop loving you ...so it really is your call .

[abitbroken]

i only see a post from January where a boyfriend was broken up with you for three months. Different guy?? Same guy??

 

At any rate, if his ex is pregnant and he is not the father, why would he hang around her? And if she is pregnant and its his -- that's awfully fast to move on to a new relationship. I wonder if she just stopped wanting to have sex because she is pregnant and he moved on to you (and he was blatantly lying to you that the baby was not his) or he doubted because they weren't exclusive when she got pregnant.

 

I really think that if you asked if he had kids and he said no - that he misrepresented himself and you have every right to leave. however, if he said he was a father figure to a baby not even born yet or just born a few months ago, wouldn't that set off an alarm? i mean, its not like he and his ex got together when the child was 5 and broken up when the child was 15 and he and the teenager decided they wanted to continue a relationship.

 

If this is his child --- then his first prioity is going to be his baby and he SHOULD be a father to this baby in every way. If you stay with him, you get in the way of him and the child's mother to rekindle things and form a family.

 

I think it is wrong to be jealous of a baby but i don't think its wrong to not want to be with someone who has kids if you are young 20s.

 

I wonder if he stretched the truth to you to keep you around.

 

If he found out he has a kid and the kid is now 5 years old and the mother just contacted him now -- that's a different story. i would stick if everything else was great - but courting another woman when your ex is pregnant and the baby won't be born for a bit ---- its just wayy to fishy and too soon;

[abitbroken]

He keeps saying this proves to him that I don't love him like I say I do.

 

Don't allow him to manipulate you like that. If this is a relatively new relationship love doesn't have anything to do with it -- it has to do with what you want for the long term.

[ThatwasThen]

when me and him first starting dating I asked him if he had any kids because I couldn't be with him if he did.

Well then you have a boundary in place so why tear it down just because you're afraid to break up with him? If it's his baby then you've got your answer.

[Pleasedonot5]

You signed up to be with him, not his and someone else's kid.

[chitown9]

No one should tell you how you should feel or how you should believe. If you feel that you don't want a partner who has a child, that is your right. You don't want someone who has a child, and that is your believe. Follow what you want in a relationship. It is entirely up to you.

[Cherelle]

Your boyfriend nor his mother has the right to tell you how you should feel. That's number one. Number two, his mother is too much in his business. Number three, run.

 

With the above being said, let me explain. Your boyfriend should have been upfront with you in the beginning when you asked if he had children. There was a possibility yet he declined to mention that fact. He can be hiding more secrets from you. His mother should not have a say in how you feel in the relationship better yet, she should not know how you feel because the relationship is between you and him, not her. If she's this much in his business making him go and take a dna then she's always in his business. Leave this entire mess alone. There are plenty available men that do not have the type of baggage this man has.

[itsallgrand]

I'd just step aside of this mess.

Hangs around the ex. May have knocked her up ( doesn't use condoms?). On to a new girl quick ( you) and bs ' you about his goings on. Mother is all in your face.