Should I reach out to my ex?

[allisonnm]

My long distance boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me in July 4 days before he was supposed to fly out to me for 6 weeks. We haven's spoken since. We didn't even have a real conversation about the breakup, it was more him telling me his decision and that was the end. I reached out that week to have a mature convo to end the relationship and he did not want to talk, he said he wanted to have that convo, but not until a month or so. I reached out a month later to have the convo, but he ignored me. A couple weeks later, I reached out explaining that I forgave him and explained that I was sorry for how I reacted to the breakup (because of course I was upset) and again I got no answer. I really just want to be on good terms with him again. I don't blame him for breaking up with me and I've even been on dates since and i definitely do not want to get back together with him or anything, I just have never been on bad terms with someone. keep in mind he was also my first everything so this is very new to me, i just don't want to look back on my first boyfriend and know that we hate each other. I don't know if I should say this to him or just never talk to him again?

 

(in addition we have mutual friends and i plan on visiting them sometime in the future, so i will maybe eventually see him again, which is also why i think it would be nice to be on good terms)

[SweetGirl28]

His silence is telling you all you need to know.

You reached out, he ignored you.

Not a manly way to handle things , but his reasons don't even matter.

You matter. You are important. Take care of you.

I'm sorry he did this to you being your first everything, but you deserve a man that wants you.

[MissCanuck]

OP, you need to let this go. I certainly understand your desire to talk to him, but he's not evidently not interested in having this conversation. I am sorry, I know it hurts.

 

Break-ups rarely have a neat and tidy ending, and unfortunately, yours is one of those break-ups with some emotional loose ends. However, he isn't going to be the person to tie them up for you. That will come from you, for you.

[Hollyj]

Let this go.

 

You are doing back flips for someone who did not give you the courtesy of a proper split. The dude is done.

 

Move on, as this will only bring you more pain.

[Cope]

Don't bother, get the closure you need on your own and get good at doing that, it's a very useful skill.

Look on the brightside, he will be your first "bad terms person" too! ha!

Joke, this is not bad terms btw. I don't see any hate, I just see him reacting immature to having the talk, but honestly, it's ok.

[Pto29538]

My long distance boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me in July 4 days before he was supposed to fly out to me for 6 weeks. We haven's spoken since. We didn't even have a real conversation about the breakup, it was more him telling me his decision and that was the end. I reached out that week to have a mature convo to end the relationship and he did not want to talk, he said he wanted to have that convo, but not until a month or so. I reached out a month later to have the convo, but he ignored me. A couple weeks later, I reached out explaining that I forgave him and explained that I was sorry for how I reacted to the breakup (because of course I was upset) and again I got no answer. I really just want to be on good terms with him again. I don't blame him for breaking up with me and I've even been on dates since and i definitely do not want to get back together with him or anything, I just have never been on bad terms with someone. keep in mind he was also my first everything so this is very new to me, i just don't want to look back on my first boyfriend and know that we hate each other. I don't know if I should say this to him or just never talk to him again?

 

(in addition we have mutual friends and i plan on visiting them sometime in the future, so i will maybe eventually see him again, which is also why i think it would be nice to be on good terms)

 

This man doesn't hate you just he is a bit of a coward and immature and doesn't want to be dealing with your emotions or discussing his own so it's much easier to run and put his head in the sand . You have reached out and he has ignored you so he knows you are looking for closure but he isn't thinking of your feelings or the breakup conversation you deserve . I'm in a sane position with a mature man you I dated for 10 months and who treated me with respect and kindness all the way through the relationship but he is unwilling to give me a breakup conversation or closure . Like You I've reached out but it's only now I accept you can't make a person talk to you and if anything his unwillingness to do so shows a big flaw in his character and should make him easier to get over. He probably doesn't think this is ending on bad terms and he would be shocked to think you thought he hated you . He is the one that has acted immaturely so if you do meet him again you will be able to hold your head up high

[MyLifeMyChoice]

OP, I'm sorry you're going through this. You've reached out multiple times and each time, he has ignored you. There's nothing else you can do but move on. I know it sucks, because we all need that closure, but this is out of your hands at this point. The only thing you can control now is how to deal with this. Honestly, I don't think you'll ever hear from him again, so I'd just focus on healing this point on.

[Sweet Sue]

I agree with everyone. Let it go. He isn't worth your time or energy. He has moved on and as much as you desire to talk to him, his silence speaks volumes. You deserve better. It is time for you to let the healing begin, and allow positive energy to replace negative energy. Stay positive and know better things lie ahead for you!

[shiner501]

You can't plead to someone to be with you or to love you. It has to come from within them, they have to want to. And in this case he isn't doing that. There is a reason for that and the reason is simple; he isn't interested. I know that truth hurts but it is the truth and you have to see that fact. Let it go for your own sanity. I have been there and got this T-shirt.