How to deal with this upset&angry boyfriend situation?

[Loralora]

Hi everyone, thanks before hand for your help!

 

I went out with my boyfriend today and he was very upset and angry about something.

Usually he is always smiling and positive. We have been together for a year now..

 

I asked him what was wrong he said he is just tired. He kept on not talking much and just looking angry.

 

He wasn't talking much except when I would ask him something he would answer.

 

I kept on insisting on what was wrong he just told me to not ask him what was wrong again and accepted that he is angry but he doesn't want to talk about it.

 

I asked him if it has to do with me he said no. He said that he just woke up angry and his coworker made him angry too by calling him 100times asking him where he was.

 

I asked him if he had gotten in a fight with some coworker or family member or friend, he said no and he would tell me if he did.

 

He said that he is just angry and tired. He said as soon as he gets over it, I make him angry again by mentioning the fact that he is angry again.

 

I let it go but I don't know how to deal with this. Should I ask him again the next time I see him? Should I just forget about it?

It feels like he is keeping a secret!

[KazzGabranth]

I understand this must be really frustrating and seemingly unfair for you, but you need to give him some space. If you keep pushing and pushing it will only make him angrier and not want to open up and tell you about it. Give him the space he needs and he will talk about it in time

[melancholy123]

Good grief - lay off! He told you to stop asking and you keep on asking! He said it has nothing to do with you, so accept that and drop it. People can and do wake up angry on occasion, so dont ask again.

[rosephase]

When someone I care for is clearly experiencing feelings that they tell me that don't want to talk about, I ask if there is anything I can do to help and then I leave them alone. Talking about feelings isn't always useful. Some people process hard feelings by themselves. If I was angry and my partner kept picking and asking me questions when I had been clear that it wasn't about them and I didn't want to talk about it... I would get pretty annoyed.

[lsilva]

Hello, Loralora... it's a common behavior for men... overtime they have a issue or are stressed out, they will withdraw to their man cave and will deal with their problems and frustrations by theirselves... i would highly recommend you to give him time and just show affection.. he already said he doesn't want to talk about it, so leave him be... he will be back as normal as soon as he solve his situation!

[Loralora]

Thanks everyone...

 

I just thought I could help. I guess we don't need to try to get involved in every problem of our partner and try to help without them asking..

 

Maybe he thinks it's something I can't help him resolve..

 

It bothers me that he doesn't try to solve it with me because it seems like he's keeping a secret..

[rosephase]

Hello, Loralora... it's a common behavior for men... overtime they have a issue or are stressed out, they will withdraw to their man cave and will deal with their problems and frustrations by theirselves... i would highly recommend you to give him time and just show affection.. he already said he doesn't want to talk about it, so leave him be... he will be back as normal as soon as he solve his situation!

 

There is no need to gender this issue. Men and women and non-gendered folks and multiple gendered folks are all capable of processing feelings in different ways. Bringing gender into it isn't helpful.

[thealchemist]

Hello, Loralora... it's a common behavior for men... overtime they have a issue or are stressed out, they will withdraw to their man cave and will deal with their problems and frustrations by theirselves... i would highly recommend you to give him time and just show affection.. he already said he doesn't want to talk about it, so leave him be... he will be back as normal as soon as he solve his situation!

My wife does that whereas I am the one who had to learn to give her space. Gender has nothing to do with it.

 

Just the different way people process their emotions.

 

I would give him his space with the issue and just try to help by being supportively there but not try to brooch it verbally.

[MissCanuck]

Stop assuming he's trying to keep it a secret. That is what's fueling you pestering him; you're afraid he's hiding something.

 

Sometimes people just really don't feel like talking about something that is upsetting. They don't want to revisit their negative feelings and get angry all over again. You have already asked him and he doesn't feel like sharing it right now. You need to respect that and back off.

 

Chances are, he will open up to you in his own time and tell you what's on his mind. For now, give him breathing room and stop pressing the matter.

[Seraphim]

Just leave it be. People can have a bad day . And they often don't need your help with a bad day . And if you pester them you make it worse . Just don't mention it. Let it go . If you want a successful relationship don't make mountains out of mole hills .

[Loralora]

Thanks everyone...

 

Turns out you all were right. We met up again the next day he seemed all happy and positive again.

 

I just said "looks like your anger passed"

All he said was "yes it did"...

 

I just let it go...

 

It was probably just a bad day and he was really tired because it was after a night shift.