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My gf is throwing around accusations.


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Me and my gf had an amazing 7 days together, we were getting along great and everything was fine. Today she said "btw just letting you know I'm unfollowing you on Instagram" and I asked why, "I dont like to see that your follow ty girls" , I expressed to her that I wasn't and when things were going great, she accused me of following promiscuous girls, and whats funny is that I didn't, I followed a girl back that i went to high school with. She said" it's not in a rude way, i just am unfollowing you so i dont have to see it" she also accused me of messaging girls on Instagram when once again , I wasn't. It's funny tho, she is following male fitness models and i would never have the audacity to bring it up because i know it's redundant, and it dosent doesn't change the way she feels about me. But when she accuses me of this, I automatically think that how can i get in trouble for following girls on Instagram, and she can do that.


A lot of people probably think this is extremely silly, and yea, it is for sure. But im wondering if my gf has reason to throw that accusation at me when it wasn't true, i was pretty offended she thinks that low of me to do something like that.

I even offer her to check all of my Instagram, but she said she dosent have to.


I was heated she accused me of that, and i said f*** you, i dont want to Do this with you again today, things are finally going well between us and you bring this up?


She immediately lost it, cried for a couple hours, i apologized immensely as I shouldn't have said that , i was upset. I told her she upset me and i behaved poorly, and that i was extremely sorry. She completely ignored the fact that she accused me of being unfaithful and I was there, once again, apologizing again for something I did out of reciprocation to one of her actions. I'm not defending what i said, but i apologized and said I'll try a lot harder to think before i speak.


I feel like I'm in a cycle with her. She ALWAYS finds negative things i do, she brings them up to me, and sometimes some of the things i do, are completely fine by other people, but matter the world to her. I am frustrated that she constantly looks for negativity, and a lot of times, I stand my ground and explain my perspective (which isn't in alignment with hers) she instantly starts crying and blaming me for everything. She accused me that im the reason for her anxiety attacks and that when we had a fight she couldnt eat for the whole day.


Whats going on here? Idk why this girls wants to be with me when she keeps reminding me of the way I mistreat her, when I really dont. If i really was, why wouldn't she leave?

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Why are you still in what appears to be a dysfucntional relationship?


My ex was like this. I was forever defending myself against completely baseless accusations, and it turned out he was the one misbehaving all along. Projection as it's finest.


This won't change, OP. It sounds like it's been going on a a long time, so I am curious what you are getting out of this relationship. It sounds pointless to stay.

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It isn't her business what girls you follow or like on Instagram, as long as you are representing yourself well publicly. Those possessive and manipulative things she's saying to you should be met with a "I can follow who I want on social media, thanks."


I am of the opinion that you are in a toxic relationship and that you should break up with her, but if you aren't going to, at least approach this better. Do not react with cussing. That's also wrong. Control your anger better.

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She's insecure and so continually, probably not consciously, looks for something to be wrong. It's a self fulfilling prophesy where she destabilizes the relationship, as it's what she expects ( the worst, and that it can't work out).


There's nothing you can do as it's an inner issue with herself.You can discuss it with her, but she has to want to change it and it would take a lot of commitment and time.

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My personal mileage is that when people act like that they are projecting their personal worst onto you. Yes, it is all insecurity driven - the need for attention, spreading their bets so they can quickly move on to the next person if you dump them, looking over their shoulder terrified that you'll do to them what they are doing to you, etc, etc, etc.


Dude, you can do better than this toxic mess. Dump her and move on and find a nice girl who is actually fun to be around. Relationships aren't really that much work and misery.

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