mustlovedogs Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 I'm not compatible bc I want to protect myself from stds? I don't deserve to have a relationship bc I'm safe? Geeze. You take a lot of leaps. NO one said you don't deserve A relationship. Just that THIS one isn't compatible. I think wearing a condom with oral is weird. If I were a guy, I would say no thanks too. Link to comment
Clio Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 The incidence of oral cancer (due to HPV virus) is on the rise due to giving head unprotected. ... gone are the days of curable sexually transmitted diseases... This ^^. Both for men and women. Not wearing a condom during oral is unsafe. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 It really is becoming an issue now a days with getting STDs and HPV virus from oral sex. If you want to make sure you're safe, try to find a serious relationship and both of you be tested for STD's and THEN have oral sex. If you're not interested in doing that or he isn't, then don't have oral sex. Simple as that. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 It should be noted as well that people can be carrying these around and not have any symptoms and not even know they have them. Don't take people's word for it anymore, be safe or you could end up in a lot of regret and be very sorry. Link to comment
Lolala Posted September 11, 2017 Author Share Posted September 11, 2017 It should be noted as well that people can be carrying these around and not have any symptoms and not even know they have them. Don't take people's word for it anymore, be safe or you could end up in a lot of regret and be very sorry. Yes he and several other guys have said things like "You really think I have an std?" or " You can tell if someone has an std by looking down there" and I'm just thinking dear Lord who taught you this stuff? They have actually made me feel bad as if I were accusing them of having one like a leper. Then they turn it around on me. Ik this is not good behavior but sometimes it takes reinforcement from others to really remind what is right and wrong. Some guys can act like they know everything and undermine my opinions on these things. I really appreciate the people on here who have responded with supportive advice and make me realize I did the right thing. Except, next time I won't accept oral from him until we are tested either. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 I have read and been told by an expert that a female is much less likely to get something when she is recieving oral bc she isn't coming into contact with the man's sexual fluids. Obviously if I go down on the guy I'm in contact with his sexual fluids. I have thought of a dental dam but feel kind of rediculous if I ask the guy to go down on me with that on me He can give you genital herpes if he is prone to get cold sores on his lips. He can then transmit the virus to your genitals even if he is cold sore free at the moment. Google Herpes Shedding and read up on that. Link to comment
danewillow Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Herpes is not generally a part of normal screening either. You do not want oral herpes on your genitals unless you enjoy a good cry while showering, peeing, or sitting down. Link to comment
Lolala Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 Herpes is not generally a part of normal screening either. You do not want oral herpes on your genitals unless you enjoy a good cry while showering, peeing, or sitting down. Haha no I'm good thanks😂 Link to comment
mnm24 Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 It's the smartest/safest route too give a guy oral with a condom on if you don't know eachother's STD status. Link to comment
wom360 Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 His choice to pass on a safety queen is just as valid as your choice to insist on covered everything. You're simply not compatible with him. Find someone who wants that level of protection and stop judging others for their choices. Link to comment
Giblesp Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I have been seeing this guy and things progressed faster than I would like them to, but we ended up messing around. He went down on me but I honestly come more easily from being fingered than oral. I was trying to return the favor with my hand but then he asked me to go down on him. I asked him to wear a condom for that and he acted like I was insane. Part of his reasoning was bc he went down on me without protection and he doesn't in serious relationships.... and I'm thinking "well jerk off you haven't asked me to be your girlfriend" but even still I'm on bc and still expect the guy to wear a condom even in a serious relationship. He hasn't talked to me since and I'm unsure what to do if he tries to get back in touch. Other guys have also found it strange when I asked them to put a condom on for oral. Am I the weird one? Do people not wear condoms if in a committed relationship? Getting more mad at him as I write! If your worried about catching STD's in oral, your still at risk if he performs on you without protection. So both of you must be using protection in oral not just him. He might have viewed it as you willing to take the risk for your own pleasure. If you feel strongly about it then you must use protection when receiving also. Link to comment
Giblesp Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I have read and been told by an expert that a female is much less likely to get something when she is recieving oral bc she isn't coming into contact with the man's sexual fluids. Obviously if I go down on the guy I'm in contact with his sexual fluids. I have thought of a dental dam but feel kind of rediculous if I ask the guy to go down on me with that on me If he had oral herpes and went down on you, you might get genital herpes. And you must also consider the other person, if you had something you didn't know about allowing him to go down on you without protection would put him at risk. Link to comment
Giblesp Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 His choice to pass on a safety queen is just as valid as your choice to insist on covered everything. You're simply not compatible with him. Find someone who wants that level of protection and stop judging others for their choices. No, she allowed him to give oral without protection. That put both of them at risk. Read the thread. Link to comment
thealchemist Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 You can ask for him to wear one. There is nothing (obviously) wrong with that. It is just that as a guy I would say "no thanks" to a bj under those circumstances. I would preferably just wait until we have both been screened and are in a long and trusting relationship. Then see if without a condom for a bj is ok. If it still wasn't I would just write off no bjs in this relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your choice. It is that as a guy, to me there is no point to a bj with a condom on. I would rather just have vaginal intercourse with a condom instead. It is like getting to borrow a friend's fast car yet not being able to drive it over 45. I'd rather just not drive it, but thanks for the offer. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 We watched the new HBO series "Deuce" last night and a hooker put a condom on a guy to give him head. Makes you wonder about dating today with all this casual, unprotected sex. It seems it's actually safer to get with a paid professional. All I can say is good on you, Op for keeping yourself safe until you know that you both are disease free. If I'm not mistaken, it was Michael Douglas that confessed on a talk show that he contracted his throat cancer from unprotected oral sex with his female partners. Link to comment
Lolala Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 If your worried about catching STD's in oral, your still at risk if he performs on you without protection. So both of you must be using protection in oral not just him. He might have viewed it as you willing to take the risk for your own pleasure. If you feel strongly about it then you must use protection when receiving also. I'm sure he probably did and I regret that now. He was pushing to do it to me so it made it hard to say no. I actually asked him to finger me and he was like "I'm no good at that" and almost didn't, he had to be persuaded. The week before, on my birthday I got him off with just my hand and he didn't take care of me. I was kind of like ok it's my turn. Link to comment
Lolala Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 You can ask for him to wear one. There is nothing (obviously) wrong with that. It is just that as a guy I would say "no thanks" to a bj under those circumstances. I would preferably just wait until we have both been screened and are in a long and trusting relationship. Then see if without a condom for a bj is ok. If it still wasn't I would just write off no bjs in this relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your choice. It is that as a guy, to me there is no point to a bj with a condom on. I would rather just have vaginal intercourse with a condom instead. It is like getting to borrow a friend's fast car yet not being able to drive it over 45. I'd rather just not drive it, but thanks for the offer. So my mouth is a Maserati? 😂 I'm jk I get what you're saying and I do oral without condoms in a relationship. But wouldn't you say the same about vaginal intercourse? Too like it's a waste with a condom on? I much prefer the feel without a condom too but I still want to be safe. Link to comment
Lolala Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 We watched the new HBO series "Deuce" last night and a hooker put a condom on a guy to give him head. Makes you wonder about dating today with all this casual, unprotected sex. It seems it's actually safer to get with a paid professional. All I can say is good on you, Op for keeping yourself safe until you know that you both are disease free. If I'm not mistaken, it was Michael Douglas that confessed on a talk show that he contracted his throat cancer from unprotected oral sex with his female partners. Yes that was him. I appreciate your support! And true! A hooker gets paid to do it even with a condom on and you won't except mine for free?🤔😂 Link to comment
Giblesp Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 I'm sure he probably did and I regret that now. He was pushing to do it to me so it made it hard to say no. I actually asked him to finger me and he was like "I'm no good at that" and almost didn't, he had to be persuaded. The week before, on my birthday I got him off with just my hand and he didn't take care of me. I was kind of like ok it's my turn. Not taking care of a girl on her birthday is out of order in my books! Perhaps a discussion for another thread. Link to comment
Lolala Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 Not taking care of a girl on her birthday is out of order in my books! Perhaps a discussion for another thread. It was technically the next day bc he cancelled on me the day before. He just got back in town from a business trip on my actual b-day so he was tired and still had go in the next day. I mean he gave an attempt but didn't succeed. I guess I should have drawn him a blueprint.Then he complained about "it hurting" so I took care of him then he feel asleep.😐 Link to comment
Perrin83 Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 I have been seeing this guy and things progressed faster than I would like them to, but we ended up messing around. He went down on me but I honestly come more easily from being fingered than oral. I was trying to return the favor with my hand but then he asked me to go down on him. I asked him to wear a condom for that and he acted like I was insane. Part of his reasoning was bc he went down on me without protection and he doesn't in serious relationships.... and I'm thinking "well jerk off you haven't asked me to be your girlfriend" but even still I'm on bc and still expect the guy to wear a condom even in a serious relationship. He hasn't talked to me since and I'm unsure what to do if he tries to get back in touch. Other guys have also found it strange when I asked them to put a condom on for oral. Am I the weird one? Do people not wear condoms if in a committed relationship? Getting more mad at him as I write! I can't possibly be the only one to notice that OP seems to think you can get pregnant from oral sex. Link to comment
Lolala Posted September 13, 2017 Author Share Posted September 13, 2017 I can't possibly be the only one to notice that OP seems to think you can get pregnant from oral sex. You obviously haven't read anything else said on here. You must not realize you can get stds from oral sex or you would have never said something so idiotic. Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 You obviously haven't read anything else said on here. You must not realize you can get stds from oral sex or you would have never said something so idiotic. Woah now. No need to be rude. Link to comment
Lolala Posted September 13, 2017 Author Share Posted September 13, 2017 Woah now. No need to be rude. I feel like his post was rude as well. I'm just trying to get some insight. Why do people want to put me down when I come here being vulnerable and asking for advice on something I normally keep very private. What do you get out of that? Link to comment
thealchemist Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 So my mouth is a Maserati? 😂 I'm jk I get what you're saying and I do oral without condoms in a relationship. But wouldn't you say the same about vaginal intercourse? Too like it's a waste with a condom on? I much prefer the feel without a condom too but I still want to be safe. Well vagina sex I would never do unprotected unless I was trying to make a baby. So it is always protected. But oral is different for me, I would rather dispense with doing it if I had to wear protection. Because in my opinion protected vaginal sex > protected oral sex. I might go down on a girl with some kind of protection though. Because for many woman I know really like both oral sex and vaginal. Now, I really like going down too, but whatever protection I would use would kill my enjoyment of going down on a girl. For me it just makes sense to wait on EVERYTHING until we are sure all parties are clean. Link to comment
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