Is it abnormal for a girl to make a guy wear a condom for oral?

[Perrin83]

You obviously haven't read anything else said on here. You must not realize you can get stds from oral sex or you would have never said something so idiotic.

 

If you see the parts that I quoted in bold you'll notice that no mention of STDs was made anywhere in there. When you ask a question about oral sex and condoms and include a mention of your BC as the only context as to why you'd ask him to wear one, what else am I supposed to think?

 

There are plenty of young women who post on here asking questions. Some are even young enough to not have yet had a class on sex education (or are unfortunate enough to live in an area where there IS no sex education). Since you have no age listed, I can only make guesses based on the information I have.

 

Sorry if I offended.

[glitterfingers]

I think it's fair to take reasonable precautions, but I try to discuss this before getting intimate because I know that there is a bit of a culture among people in their teens, 20s and even 30s of taking a lot of sexual health risks with new partners. Personally I don't like giving oral sex with a condom so I just won't do it until I'm in a committed relationship with someone and know their sexual health status. For me, it makes the experience way better when I do give it anyway, for many reasons including that it's because I actually want to and care for the person

 

I think your request is level-headed but it's better to bring it up before you catch people off guard. I think it's less about the request in this situation, and more about how it killed the mood and probably made things uncomfortable - that can be hard to recover from. Not your fault, just something to know for next time

 

A few years ago I was dating a guy and I didn't want to get intimate early on without a condom and mutual STD checks, but it didn't come up until we were already semi naked in bed. He found this confronting and we fizzled not long after (he later cited this as one of the reasons). I'd rather wait for a guy who's on the same page and comfortable talking about it anyway. My current partner sent me a picture of his urine vial when he got his check done for me but he didn't get worked up about it or turned off

 

For the record, while it's your body, you might consider whether you'd be willing to remove condoms from sex/blowjobs if you're on bc and both have gotten STD checks and shared results with each other. I think there are plenty of guys who will be happy to get an STD check if it means removing the physical barrier for intimacy

[Lolala]

Glitterfingers I love your name haha! I really can relate to everything you just said. That's pretty much what happened. We moved too fast. It was all decisions in the heat of the moment and giving in. Instead of talking about this stuff before hand, he literally asked me as I was "rubbing him"🙈. So after he was like nvm I don't think I can come anymore. And pretty much said he needed to go to bed but it wasn't about that. To which I replied "ya sure it isn't" sarcastically. I'm conflicted bc we got off to such an awesome start he treated me really well and talked about always being the one trying to make things work. Now it's been a week and he hasn't spoken to me once, but we used to talk everyday. A part of me wants to call him out for shutting me out when I was just trying to be safe. Idk if I want to be with someone that gives up on a person that easily.

 

I do give bjs in a relationship without a condom and have even slipped up and had sex without a condom. I'm willing to budge and talk these things through but he will never know that bc he just ghosted. We have had 4 dates. Some girls make a guy wait much longer than that for these things. I usually do. He even told me after our second date that he was glad I told him no. But in the moment he was pushing for it so I feel like that's really unfair. I think it's just a test like he's trying to see how easy I am even though he makes it nearlt impossible to say no.

[Lolala]

If you see the parts that I quoted in bold you'll notice that no mention of STDs was made anywhere in there. When you ask a question about oral sex and condoms and include a mention of your BC as the only context as to why you'd ask him to wear one, what else am I supposed to think?

 

There are plenty of young women who post on here asking questions. Some are even young enough to not have yet had a class on sex education (or are unfortunate enough to live in an area where there IS no sex education). Since you have no age listed, I can only make guesses based on the information I have.

 

Sorry if I offended.

Thank you, I'm sorry I overreacted as well. I have just had a few comments that are implying things like that. Like I'm totally clueless. I go on to further explain and elaborate on these things throughout the post.

[Lolala]

But ya Perrin83 my point was that guys use the excuse of a girl being on bc to not wear a condom for sex. He was acting like my whole worry of catching something was rediculous and basically his argument was you could tell if he had something by looking. Which is 100% not true. Does that clear things up?

[glitterfingers]

But ya Perrin83 my point was that guys use the excuse of a girl being on bc to not wear a condom for sex. He was acting like my whole worry of catching something was rediculous and basically his argument was you could tell if he had something by looking. Which is 100% not true. Does that clear things up?

 

Some men can be particularly difficult to reason with when blood flow has been redirected away from their brain

 

You dodged a bullet, I'd say! The fact that he thought it was okay to argue about it is a red flag for his character IMO

[Lolala]

Some men can be particularly difficult to reason with when blood flow has been redirected away from their brain

 

You dodged a bullet, I'd say! The fact that he thought it was okay to argue about it is a red flag for his character IMO

I like how you think! Agree with everything you have said!

[wom360]

Some men can be particularly difficult to reason with when blood flow has been redirected away from their brain

 

You dodged a bullet, I'd say! The fact that he thought it was okay to argue about it is a red flag for his character IMO

 

True. I'd never argue the point in the heat of the moment. I wouldn't date her again, but I also wouldn't argue.

[IAmFCA]

The last two men who were sexual with me (two+ year time frame) expected to use a condom, but not for oral. The one who wanted a regular dating habit got tested immediately and offered to show me his tests on his phone for confirmation.

 

I did not have to ask. I did have to hold the line, but only in the most gentle of manners.

[Jibralta]

nevermind. (wasn't anything negative, just resolved)

[Lolala]

nevermind. (wasn't anything negative, just resolved)

Huh? What are yiu talking about?

[jensch85]

I have always been very cautious since I was younger the more and more I learnt the more I realized you need to take care of your body because once you catch something you can't always get rid of it and you have the rest of your life to live!

Sometimes people just worry about themselves. Don't feel insane for asking him to wear protection I have in the past. Just because you can't see a visible sore or something doesn't mean he is clean. Think of this.. HPV can be spread to women very easily... women can get a shot to prevent it but they are still developing a prevention for men. He could have HPV and not know because men CANT get tested and he could transfer it to you orally which can give you warts or cause you to contract throat cancer in time. I also wouldn't let someone go down on me either because again he could have HPV in his mouth and pass it orally.

Better to be safe than sorry and get to know his sexual past experiences and just be safe

[figureitout23]

I have read and been told by an expert that a female is much less likely to get something when she is recieving oral bc she isn't coming into contact with the man's sexual fluids. Obviously if I go down on the guy I'm in contact with his sexual fluids. I have thought of a dental dam but feel kind of rediculous if I ask the guy to go down on me with that on me

 

You weren't wrong for insisting he wear a condom, its never wrong to take your sexual health seriously, where you went wrong was allowing him to perform unprotected oral sex on you. While you claim he 'pressured you' you seem to be perfectly ok with putting you both at risk when it was you receiving pleasure. If i was the guy, I probably would have ended things too. Just seems contradictory, I'd feel used. Again, it just doesn't seem you're sincere about worrying about your sexual health when you do 'some' things unprotected but not others. If safety is your concern you shouldn't do anything unprotected with a dude you barely know and you did, you were wishy washy with your boundaries and are now confused why he checked out when the answer is right there in front of you. Next time discuss all this before you take your clothes off, dont get your rocks off then suddenly gain clarity

[DanZee]

You can get flavored condoms if there's a sex store near you or ordering them through online places like Adam&Eve. Each year, mostly younger people get more than 6 million STDs in the US. So it's certainly something to worry about. He should be happy you're willing to yank him. That's probably better than oral through a condom (in my opinion).

[Lolala]

You can get flavored condoms if there's a sex store near you or ordering them through online places like Adam&Eve. Each year, mostly younger people get more than 6 million STDs in the US. So it's certainly something to worry about. He should be happy you're willing to yank him. That's probably better than oral through a condom (in my opinion).

You're my favorite person right now! The last post made me feel like a ty person and I've been really down on myself since I read it. Exactly! I have never come from oral. Hands are much better for me and he was like oh "I'm really bad" at that and he almost didn't even try. He was also impatient bc sometimes it hurts if a guy goes in at the wrong angle for me. I felt like I was taking care of him and already did last time, on my birthday and I didn't get it in return. I thought it shouldn't matter that much as long as he comes. Ik I'm really good with my hands and he enjoyed It VERY MUCH the first time. I'm pretty much always neglected when it comes to sex and am usually the one pleasing my past boyfriends but the first time I'm "selfish" and try to be safe it's a deal breaker. I won't allow a guy to go down on me from now on without an std check now, but damn give a girl a break. Definitely regret doing any of that with him now especially so soon. But I could have wasted a lot more time to find out down the road that he really thinks you can see all stds. He even said "you don't seem like the kind off girl that sleeps around" as another defense of not using a condom. Thank you? But what if I had an ex that cheated on me and gave me something?

 

Ya I have purchased some flavored lube in the past for that purpose.

[Jibralta]

Huh? What are yiu talking about?

 

I was going to respond to Perrin83, but that all got smoothed over.

[Jibralta]

You're my favorite person right now! The last post made me feel like a ty person and I've been really down on myself since I read it. Exactly! I have never come from oral. Hands are much better for me and he was like oh "I'm really bad" at that and he almost didn't even try. He was also impatient bc sometimes it hurts if a guy goes in at the wrong angle for me. I felt like I was taking care of him and already did last time, on my birthday and I didn't get it in return. I thought it shouldn't matter that much as long as he comes. Ik I'm really good with my hands and he enjoyed It VERY MUCH the first time. I'm pretty much always neglected when it comes to sex and am usually the one pleasing my past boyfriends but the first time I'm "selfish" and try to be safe it's a deal breaker.

 

You live and learn. Don't beat yourself up bout it too much. I guarantee he's not a better human being than you, and if he's judging you right now, to hell with him.

 

He even said "you don't seem like the kind off girl that sleeps around" as another defense of not using a condom. Thank you? But what if I had an ex that cheated on me and gave me something?

 

Duhhh.

 

See? You actually dodged a bullet.

[scarlett1997]

My friend said she use to do this with her Ex, she said it was easier and less messy and she didnt like how he tasted. I personally wouldnt but i can see why some people may want to.

[Lolala]

My friend said she use to do this with her Ex, she said it was easier and less messy and she didnt like how he tasted. I personally wouldnt but i can see why some people may want to.

Do what exactly?

[wom360]

Do what exactly?

 

Use a condom for oral.

[Unreasonable]

We watched the new HBO series "Deuce" last night and a hooker put a condom on a guy to give him head. Makes you wonder about dating today with all this casual, unprotected sex. It seems it's actually safer to get with a paid professional

Interestingly enough, I'm watching a show called "Top of the Lake", which also features prostitutes, in which a customer bragged he got a "bareback b__wj_b". I had never heard of the phrase, which apparently means getting a BJ without a condom. Or, as it's also known, a "b__wj_b." So I imagine oral with condoms is commonplace amongst prostitutes (enough so that the "regular" kind has a special name) or at least normal by Hollywood's "research" of prostitution.