AlwaysInTheWro Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 I've been engaged for 4 months to my quote on quote hs sweet heart . I feel sad because I always pressured him into taking things further.and now I feel like the timing is off, since he asked me at the wrong time. When mentally I was ready to get my stuff together and be me. Being with someone since youve been 16 and getting engaged shortly after is a roller coaster. I feel like its messed up for mw to even question . were both 20 years old. During that time. We had our son whos now 13 months. The thing is I feel the total opposite of what a bride to be should feel. I feel so mediocre. Everyone else is more happier than I am about the future wedding. It doesn't help that I'm in love with an ex , another part of me wants to be young and still live. And go to college and be independent. This will all mold our child. I know in the long run unhappiness always shows. I'm just tired of the marriage not working even before the actual wedding. I just wish I can find an easy way to let him down easy, especially since I love his family and all. In the long run I rather see him with someone who will make him happier. Because I feel like I've put him through enough of my uncertainty and manic depression. I know I need to love myself first and I still haven't done that. Because I'm quick to jump on a guy who gives me attention. In tired of feeling like a dusty toy in a window display. I want to be loved tje way I want to be loved. Because a ring shouldn't just cut it. I'm just so confused I need light. Its unpossible to love two men at once. Link to comment
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