boyfriend plays a lot of video games

[novembergirl]

About a month ago, my boyfriend went out of state and stayed a week at his friends house. While he was there, he non-stop played video games but I didnt let it bother me as he was with his friend. Throughout that whole week we spoke for a total of about 5 hours through text, but as said before I didn't think it was a problem. I guess this sparked his interest in video games again as he went out and bought a PS4, and has been playing it everyday for hours on end for the past 3 weeks. 3-4 hours will pass before I get a "sorry" response from him, we'll talk for 10 minutes and it's right back to playing games. He has even went as far as not answering me from 1AM until 10PM the next day because he fell asleep while playing games. Everytime I bring this up he gets mad and says that he should be able to play his game whenever he wants, but it's starting to effect our relationship. Any advice?

[melancholy123]

I suspect you two are pretty young. It's typical teen/young adult behaviour to play video games and this guy is no different. It's also a novelty, he's bought a new system and is wired to it. Also typical stuff. You bugging him to stop playing and then contact you is not going to work, he's going to keep playing his games. You will also annoy him if you keep doing it.

 

What are you doing in your life to keep occupied? Do you have a job? Summer school? Hanging with friends? Dont make him the only thing in your life, get out there and live your life doing what you enjoy.

 

Hopefully he will lessen the amount of time he plays his games. If you really cant handle it, you may need to break up with him and find a guy who isnt into gaming.

[j.man]

Let the guy have a binge holy ****. Stop setting quotas for how often he needs to reach / text you and you might be surprised to find he'll become more eager to do so.

[novembergirl]

I suspect you two are pretty young. It's typical teen/young adult behaviour to play video games and this guy is no different. It's also a novelty, he's bought a new system and is wired to it. Also typical stuff. You bugging him to stop playing and then contact you is not going to work, he's going to keep playing his games. You will also annoy him if you keep doing it.

 

What are you doing in your life to keep occupied? Do you have a job? Summer school? Hanging with friends? Dont make him the only thing in your life, get out there and live your life doing what you enjoy.

 

Hopefully he will lessen the amount of time he plays his games. If you really cant handle it, you may need to break up with him and find a guy who isnt into gaming.

Yes we are pretty young (16 and 17). He's graduated high school and I'm in summer school at the moment. When he's playing games I'm either in school or with my friends, but the point is sometimes he'll go a full day without talking to me, and answer late at night with "sorry". I understand he just got his game and wants to play it as much as he can, but I feel like he should be able to take an hour out of the day and make an effort to talk to me. Yesterday he said he turned his phone off so his mother wouldn't call him, but his phone was clearly on as the messages were going through and he was just ignoring me. I can understand from his point of view, but he doesn't seem to understand mine.

[Seraphim]

Another measure of trying to control.

[Scoe141]

What game is he currently playing?

[melancholy123]

Yes we are pretty young (16 and 17). He's graduated high school and I'm in summer school at the moment. When he's playing games I'm either in school or with my friends, but the point is sometimes he'll go a full day without talking to me, and answer late at night with "sorry". I understand he just got his game and wants to play it as much as he can, but I feel like he should be able to take an hour out of the day and make an effort to talk to me. Yesterday he said he turned his phone off so his mother wouldn't call him, but his phone was clearly on as the messages were going through and he was just ignoring me. I can understand from his point of view, but he doesn't seem to understand mine.

 

Right now his point of view is what matters to him. He's got a new toy and he's busy playing with it. It's the current big focus in his life and will be until the novelty wears off, which will eventually happen. Dont make him the centre of your world!

[novembergirl]

Another measure of trying to control.

How is this trying to control him? He goes a full day without contacting me mind you he's also on his phone, and I'm controlling?

[Seraphim]

How is this trying to control him? He goes a full day without contacting me mind you he's also on his phone, and I'm controlling?

 

But why can't he go an entire day without contacting you?

[novembergirl]

But why can't he go an entire day without contacting you?

It's ok for your boyfriend to intentionally ignore you for hours and days at a time? 😂

[Seraphim]

It's ok for your boyfriend to intentionally ignore you for hours and days at a time? 😂

Well, you said you had been screaming and yelling at him and having fights. Correct? That could be a reason he is ignoring you.

[novembergirl]

Well, you said you had been screaming and yelling at him and having fights. Correct? That could be a reason he is ignoring you.

Yes thay could be true.. I've definitely calmed down alot compared to a month or two ago and I'm working on it, but I guess he does do things that get me mad like this for example.

[Seraphim]

Just remember though people don't stop being their own person just because they are in a relationship. They have friends and hobbies and jobs and careers and families. Let him breath for a bit. Be busy with your own life.

[itsallgrand]

Do you set up dates with him?

 

I wouldn't worry about him enjoying his free time. And he isn't required to keep tabs with you through out every day.

 

Do you spend actual time together?

[sandithetortie]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what he's doing and why he's not texting you back.

Grow up and get over it.

[NotMonday]

Hopefully he won't get into mmo''s.

I have a frien who bately talks to me because he's doing so well and doesn't want to fall behind. Flat out said if he could do nothing but play he would.

[MissCanuck]

He is very occupied with his game, yes. But I suspect he's also lost of a lot of interest in the relationship.

[Scoe141]

He is very occupied with his game, yes. But I suspect he's also lost of a lot of interest in the relationship.

 

It sounds like he finds the game more interesting than someone who is nagging him like a mother.

 

You have two options. Sit down and talk to him. Don't Snapchat or send him a message through Instagram. Call and arrange a meeting. Ask him point blank if he wants to continue the relationship.

 

If he doesn't reply or ignores yo,u then tell him it's over and move on with your life. You're both very young and obviously want different things at this point in your lives.