Lilmama28 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I'm really struggling lately with my self esteem, and I think it stems from comparing myself to others. I'm the oldest of 3 siblings. In the past year, both have gotten married, begun their careers, and bought their first houses. They are the toast of the family. I, on the other hand, am a single (never married), unemployed mom of a 10 year old. It's to the point where I avoid family gatherings to not have to listen to relative's comments about how wonderful my siblings are doing while ignoring me entirely. I survived an addiction when I was younger but struggle with depression and anxiety. While my son's father and I were still together, I took a lot of time off school to be there to raise my son while his dad supported us.. then came a 3 1/2 year custody fight. I almost lost my son. I went back to school and earned my bachelor's degree. I have plans for graduate school, but don't have the money yet. In the last year since graduation I have submitted over 300 job applications and have not found work even at the minimum wage level (clean criminal background, substance free, have had other professionals help with my resume, relocating to a better job market isn't an option without going back to family court and winning permission to move my son or giving up custody.. not sure what's missing). I am dependent on my parents financially at 30 years old, and they are (rightfully) irritated by it. I feel as though I spend so much of the time I'm not with my son applying for jobs that I am not taking proper care of myself, they feel I'm simply not trying hard enough. The last time the city inspected the rental property we live in, it was deemed to have structural issues. The landlord is unwilling to fix the problems. We need to move, and I am under a court order to keep my son in the same school district. Since I rented this place, rent in the area has more than doubled. It's well out of my reach even with a roommate, and housing here doesn't exceed 3 bedrooms, so multiple roommates doesn't seem viable either. More stress. I'm also the last of my close friends without a husband or career. It's so hard to be happy for everyone else when the things I see them achieving are lacking so painfully in my own life. I need help reframing the way I'm looking at things. I want to shut down entirely and give up most days. I find I'm isolating myself from friends because these things come so easily to them that it's difficult for them to relate to why I'm struggling. I'd appreciate your help. Thanks. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.