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Is it time to leave after 7 years?


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I have a long term relationship for almost 7 years later this month.

It has not been easy. She has left me one time and move in with someone else 4 years ago for 7 months and I have caught her chatting with other guys multiple times with using words like "You make me crazy when you don't answer me" to other men.

I feel like she has never fixed our relationship after it has broken and I have told her many times to fix what she break. I really don't trust her and on top of that, she often becomes irresponsible and drunk partying and do stupid things.

But regardless, I do love her, but the relationship is really affecting my life moving forward with career changes.

She is totally dependent upon me financially and I feel bad if I have to leave.

BTW, she's half my age.

Should I take my gut instinct and leave?

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Don't feel bad!! You owe her nothing, given that she's a cheater. Seriously, look out for yourself and put your feelings first. Please don't feel guilty for leaving her. Don't let her use you for financial support while she chats it up with other men. You deserve better than that.

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Thanks for the comment. I'm old enough to know things are never in black and white. I believe in giving chances. but how long before I'm beyond stupid?

BTW, she's waiting for me to hand over a $100,000 condo which she has been living in past 7 years.

I have been warn that people change once they get what they want. True?

 

I love her company but when she's bad...she's really bad.

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There's not a lot of context here about your relationship, but based purely on what you've said she's a cheat who's living off you, and she has no sense of responsibility.

 

Instead of being sad for ending it you should have a celebration.

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She's half my age and I have help her establish two companies where she draws quite bit of income from.

I enjoy teaching her to be self sufficient and to think smart. On most part she does, but once in a while she goes off and loses her mind.

I have caught her 3 times already either with someone else physically or chatting up and meeting them. Trust has still not been rebuilt yet after 4-2 years of this cheating.

We do have a lot of financial tied up but I'm considering to drop everything and move on. I also will not transfer my condo to her either. Feel she does not deserve it.

Cut my loss.

I just feel terrible when she does goes off and disappear. Really breaks what ever remaining trust I have.

Just feel difficult to have someone with you for 7 years and then have to drop it cause of trust and irresponsible issues.

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Do your wife and kids know how much of their money is going to your girlfriend?

 

OP, you failed to tell everyone that you are married, and you became involved when she was only 20. UGH!

 

Sorry, it's not their money. My money income goes to my family. My girlfriend has her companies which I help her establish.

But the other statement you said is correct. I already stated she's half my age.

I did not want to lave her for a younger or another model. I would rather not leave at all.

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If you let her treat you this way then why would she change her behaviour? If you always keep taking her back, giving her money and picking up the pieces then she has no reason to change. So move on and let her be a big girl and handle herself.

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BTW, I ask for advice, not for moral judgement. Everyone is different and I have my reasons for my relationship.

I grew up in a working class family and have seen how destructive broken families are to the children. I am determine not to put my children through the same ordeal as divorce and a broken family.

Since I have worked my way up and well off, I want to maintain the family, but I also want some intimacy and personal touch which no longer exist in my marriage.

Please don't be so quick to judge.

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Sorry, it's not their money. My money income goes to my family. My girlfriend has her companies which I help her establish.

But the other statement you said is correct. I already stated she's half my age.

I did not want to lave her for a younger or another model. I would rather not leave at all.

 

....nevermind. Maybe you two deserve each other.......are you really that surprised she cheats on you and is awful when you do the same?? You want to be treated well? Then become a better person.

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It seems you are her sugar daddy but she wants more action from guys her own age. Mistresses often start wanting more money or assets or commitment. But she seems to wants to act her age and get sex from younger men.

I want to maintain the family, but I also want some intimacy and personal touch which no longer exist in my marriage.
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What type of agreement do you have with your wife and with your girlfriend? That kind of defines if her behaviour is ok. Have you agreed with your wife that you are only roomates and you can date whoever you want and you no longer have a sexual relationship? Does your girlfriend know that you will never leave your wife and you are in a exclusive monogamous relationship with her only? If you have sex with your wife then you can't expect her to be monogamous. Do you have a financial agreement about your relationship where you finance her company and she provides her company in return? These details matter with the big picture. Not looking to moralize but in this type of relationship setting up rules are important. And when the other one is not Ok with the rules or breaks them then you move on. If she broke the agreement then you have to walk away.

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Thanks for the rational comment. Yes, I am monogamous with my girlfriend. My wife has many other guy friends and we never question what our own free time are doing. As a matter of fact, she's out tonight and disappeared. I'm with the kids. Don;t think my wife is a sit at home mom.

I think Wiseman2 has a point and I better move away from this. Just difficult and not looking forward to starting anything new.

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Again, I ask for advice not moral judgement. Please read my reply for the reason for my relationship.

BTW, my wife is also a business owner, I hardly see her.

 

You are married. Does your wife and kids know about all of this?

 

You are no victim!

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Thanks for the rational comment. Yes, I am monogamous with my girlfriend. My wife has many other guy friends and we never question what our own free time are doing. As a matter of fact, she's out tonight and disappeared. I'm with the kids. Don;t think my wife is a sit at home mom.

I think Wiseman2 has a point and I better move away from this. Just difficult and not looking forward to starting anything new.

 

I feel for your children. This is so dysfunctional. And, don't think they are not aware. This type of stuff, screws them up for life. Really selfish.

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" Yes, I am monogamous with my girlfriend."

 

Good grief! That's the first time I have seen someone post that they were monogamous with the mistress.

I suspect he's over a barrel and if the gf is as outrageous as he claims, he ought to be afraid.

He stands to lose everything.

I hope it was worth it.

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It's not really fair, OP, to only give half the story when you come here seeking advice. You left out a HUGE element to this whole thing in your initial post, and I wouldn't have given any support or sympathy had I known the real situation. Nor can you get accurate advice when you don't tell the whole story. Waste of time. I'm not sure if your wife is a cheater also, but if so, then the only innocents in this whole mess are your kids.

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