Loanded a friend money, now he's ignoring me?

[stevdiaz80]

I don't get it. I last talked to him in November, when he said he'd need to break up repayments into 2-3 smaller amounts. I said okay, then he ignored me for 2 months.

 

So, I sent him a paypal bill because he wouldn't respond, and I needed the money! Now, he won't return my calls or texts. ? I know nobody here knows his exact reasons, just

 

asking for general advice. It's strange how he's ghosted me after knowing each other for so long.

[j.man]

General advice? Sure.

 

1) Don't lend to friends

2) Don't lend money (to anyone) that you can't afford to potentially never get back

 

In full disclosure and to somewhat go against my own advice, I have "lent" money to friends in the sense that they were given it under a very broad and unconditional pretense of "you can pay me back whenever you can afford to." As in, I never really expect the money back and, for the cause they needed it for, I was perfectly fine treating it as a worthy donation. If ever they were comfortable enough to return it, it was just a bonus.

 

Sounds like a hard lesson in your case. If it's worth going to small claims over, you could. Otherwise, if you're in dire need, I'd say look for any other means possible to earn the money you're missing.

[Seraphim]

If you ever give out money consider it a gift .

[HeartGoesOn]

You may have a leg to stand on if you got this in writing. Otherwise, as others have said, never lend anymore than what you can afford to lose.

[Wiseman2]

See an attorney and have the attorney send a letter on his letterhead. You have proof it's a loan and not a gift by virtue of the fact that he's made some repayments, no?

November, when he said he'd need to break up repayments into 2-3 smaller amounts. I sent him a paypal bill because he wouldn't respond, and I needed the money.

[ParisPaulette]

Yeah, he never intended to give you that money back. And I'd bet he's got something going on and is now into simply shunning people after he gets money out of them for whatever it is.

 

If you need the money, it was a sizable chunk, then take him to small claims court or call Judge Judy or get an attorney to send him a letter. Or look into hiring an individual credit collection agency, although they'll want a cut they can still get you back the money and/or he gets a black mark against his credit and name. And lots of people don't want that, I know that from being a freelancer when I've had clients try and stiff me out of my hard-earned money. But if there's nothing in writing, no proof such a check written out to him then you might not get the money back anyways. It can't hurt though and maybe the threat of legal would be enough to make him pay the money back, BUT you need proof that shows you gave him X amount of dollars. Even if it's just that you get him to admit to it in an email or phone call that can help.

 

I'm really sorry, but people do this. A long-term friend of my husband's (we're talking 20 years here) purchased some film and photography equipment from my husband and promised him the money in a fortnight. My husband trusted him, he has yet to see that money or get a call from the guy two years later. I did a little digging and come to find out this former "friend" is being sued left, right and center for nonpayment to his employees, he lost his business, he's about to lose his house. My guess is he took the equipment my husband sold him and pawned or sold it off to try and keep his creditors at bay. My husband will never see that money, but decided it wasn't worth the hassle of taking the guy to court. He just warned mutual friends not to loan the guy any money or do business deals with him - something this former friend turned up on every single mutual friend's doorstep after that trying to do.

 

This guy has zero intentions of paying you back and always did. He's just decided it's easier not to have to face you and admit to that. If he gets back in touch at some point to "pay you back" you'd be really smart to just take the money then block and delete him before he asks for more. Or he will do it again and probably for more money. I've seen that happen too.

 

And nope, never loan anyone money unless you get them to sign an contract that they have to pay you back by X amount of time and you have the ability to enforce it in some way. Harsh lesson to learn but it is what it is. People get really slimy about money, even if they've been your bestest friend forever.