My EX broke up with me to see what else is out there

[thelogride]

Hi,

My name is Logan and I currently just got out of a year and a half long relationship. This woman was not only my girlfriend but we were each others best friends. (I'm 20 and she's 18..). The first year of our relationship was absolutely amazing and we loved every second together. My girlfriend, Sydney, would always always always do anything for me and would never want me to leave her side. We spent nearly every single day together and literally did everything together. We were labeled as the picture perfect couple by everyone because of how happy we were together. Then it came time for her to move off for college and that's where everything changed. She was planning to go to Iowa to study nursing but once she got there she felt so depressed and miserable and wanted to come home and go to her hometown college instead. I just wanted what was best for her and she decided that she couldn't stay there because she's too much of a home body and later admitted that not having me there with her was a factor to why she came home. SO, you may be thinking that this proves we really are meant to be with each other if a big decision like that was made for each other. I thought that was a sign that it's meant to be, and you know, maybe it still is meant to be. So she starts school at her local college and begins to question how to balance her college life with her relationship life. I don't blame her because I'm sure it's difficult... looking back I wish I would've given her the time to have a social life. So we go through the first semester and it was going fairly well and then she started to become really flirty with everyone. Later on, she decided to cheat on me with someone else who wasn't even from her school. I about left her right there, but I was too dependent on her and I just forgave her and promised we can work through anything together. She felt awful and really tried to solve the battle in her head with living "two lives" a college life and a relationship life. We made it through the first semester with her cheating on me, so that was a low point. We both had AN AMAZING Christmas break together and even went on a vacation with each other. When we got back, it was time for the spring semester which we both are currently still in. It started off fine but she started getting flirty again and it was making me upset. Coincidental and sadly my ex girlfriend reached out to me saying she needed some help. I shouldn't have done this, but I went to see what was wrong and basically she just got me there to try to hook up with me. So me and my ex started kissing and I told her to stop because I love Sydney and that's who I want to be with. I immediately called Sydney and told her what had happened and I felt so bad for cheating on her like that. Ever since that night, Sydney acted strangely. We went through a month and everything seemed just fine as always. We both always said we made a mistake but that shouldn't define us because we both are young and stupid and it's what we do after the mistake that really brings out who we really are. We went on a Valentine's date and had an amazing night. Sydney always told me she wants me forever and like every other night said the same thing. A week later, she asked for some space. This came out of nowhere and I wasn't too granting of it sadly. I agreed to it but kept bothering her because I was worried she would leave me. Two days later after bothering her non stop and not giving her space she said we should break up for a bit and see other people to see if this is really what we want. I freaked out and begged and pleaded my case that it doesn't have to be like this. I now know that was wrong of me to do. She said we both should date others to see if we both really actually want to be with each other with the old " if it's meant to be it'll happen." So four weeks pass and she's been baiting me on a hook the entire time kinda giving me false hope in a way. She just would say it's a feeling not a deadline to when we can get back together. I still kept bothering her almost everyday and that got on her nerves so easily and probably turned her off from me. During these four weeks, she started talking to some guy from her school and they now are a thing as in dating or something like that. They like to spend time together and they like each other. About a week ago, she broke everything off with me. She no longer wore her promise ring that I gave her and took all my pictures down and boxed up all my belongings. I asked to have them all back and we exchanged items and now we're just broken up. MY QUESTION is.... what do I do now??? I still love her and see her in my future and she says the exact same thing. She always said we'd get back together... she just doesn't know when because it's a feeling thing. Clearly in the ending parts of our relationship she was losing some feeling for me and wanted to explore what else is out there. I feel like me not giving her space really pushed that on her even more and I hate myself for that. So for about 4 days now, I've gone No Contact rule on her and haven't said a single word. I still see she's talking to this guy because of snapchat and honestly in my opinion her seems like a rebound. He's nothing like me and she seems to be rushing things since we just broke up not too long ago. She tried making me jealous by sending me screenshots of things he said to her and if she was with him. It really set me off. Sydney and I had an amazing relationship but college seemed to make her grow curious to what else is out there. She always said that we just need this time to ourselves to see others to see if we really are meant for each other... but I don't know if I should buy it. She says she still loves me but she ca't be with me right now. I'd do anything to get her back and start a new relationship with her that's much more healthier. Any advice as to what I should do? Like I said I'm already going no contact and hoping that someday she will realize how good I was to her and want to rekindle. Any advice as to what has been happening and what I should actually expect would be awesome.... I love her so much.

[Wiseman2]

Agree with her that breaking up and seeing others is better than cheating and revenge cheating. Stay no contact and wait for her to reach out. It sounds you both have some wild oats to sow before you become exclusive and have a relationship.

she decided to cheat on me with someone else who wasn't even from her school.

Coincidental and sadly my ex girlfriend reached out to me saying she needed some help. I shouldn't have done this, but I went to see what was wrong and basically she just got me there to try to hook up with me.

I immediately called Sydney and told her what had happened and I felt so bad for cheating on her like that.

She said we both should date others to see if we both really actually want to be with each other with the old " if it's meant to be it'll happen."

[rosephase]

What is happening is so normal it's a cliche. You guys are both to young and to inexperienced to have a long term monogamous relationship. Of course she wants to explore she's 18. Of course you both are hurt and doing the wrong things. You are both young and inexperienced.

 

What should you expect? You should expect it to hurt for awhile. You should expect to get over it in time. You should expect to move on and find someone else. You should expect for the relationship to also fail. And for it to also hurt. Maybe more than this one, maybe less. You should expect to try and learn and grow and fail and hurt. That is the process of figuring out how to be in a relationship. There is a lot of fun and love and passion too. But most people have a handful of relationships that end before they even learn what they want, how they want to be treated and what being a good partner means to them.

 

It'll get better. And worse. And better again.

[thelogride]

Would you say that there's still a chance after some time apart and growing up that we can try again? We both said that's what we want but I'm worried she will grow away from her feelings for me. That's why I'm going no contact, so hopefully she will realize how good I was to her and have it flip like a switch and realize I'm the one for her.

[Wiseman2]

Your theory and reasoning is good that only in your absence can she really see clearly what it was like with you vs without you.

Would you say that there's still a chance after some time apart and growing up that we can try again? We both said that's what we want but I'm worried she will grow away from her feelings for me. That's why I'm going no contact, so hopefully she will realize how good I was to her and have it flip like a switch and realize I'm the one for her.

[Billie28]

You haven't gone no contact yet.

No contact means completely removing every form of possible contact including snap chat and all other social media.

 

You became too dependant on each other and that is not "picture perfect"

Far from it.

 

When she said she wanted to be with you forever , she didn't lie, it was her thoughts at that point in time.

But not anymore.

 

She is a coward. She doesn't want to be with you anymore but gives you a false glimmer of hope only to keep you as her safety net back up guy.

She won't need her safety net but having it makes her feel safer in her choice to move on.

 

Remove her safety net, delete her from all social media etc. And she will notice, when she contacts you to wonder why, do not reply!!

 

No contact is not and should never be used in An attempt to entice smomeone back.

It is to allow you to get over the breakup cleaner, quicker and healthier.

 

Good luck!

[thelogride]

I'm kind of using it as both. By not contacting her anymore, either I'll move on and get over it or she will come back to me. That's pretty much how I'm thinking of it but clearly I'm hoping she will realize what she had with me with some time apart. We smothered each other and that wasn't healthy and honestly I've already done some learning since we broke up and that was the entire point of breaking up was to fix our flaws.

[thelogride]

The relationship already failed, but does that not mean that we can't get back together someday maybe sooner than later? We were both each others first love and that's something that will never go away. I still feel like there's more to us than this.

[rosephase]

The relationship already failed, but does that not mean that we can't get back together someday maybe sooner than later? We were both each others first love and that's something that will never go away. I still feel like there's more to us than this.

 

I still love my first love. Your first love is a strange one. It's so big and new and overwhelming. It's the first time you feel a whole bunch of things. But no, most people don't end up with there first love. Because most folks get together with their first love while they are kids, long before they even know themselves well enough to be in a relationship. Honestly? You probably don't want to end up with your first love. I know it doesn't feel that way now. But realistically? Do you want to be with someone who cheated on you? Who left you because it was more important to be free and try new things and people? Someone who doesn't seem to like you very much any more but will string you along so she has a back up plan, where she doesn't have to be alone? Is that what you want?

 

For real. You will heal and move on. You will find someone else. And next time you'll know a little bit more about love, about sex, about infatuation, about commitment. And your next relationship will be better for that knowledge.

[thelogride]

I agree with you when you say those things. As much denial that I'm currently in, it would be best to learn and move on. However, I feel as if we each deserve a second chance with each other. Our feelings both are still there, she's just been really stressed out and confused with life lately which is why she wanted time to herself. It didn't end how I thought it would end and that has me thinking that there's more this relationship, that we both are just taking time apart like we said. She also said maybe if it presents itself we can try again and see how we've progressed at the end of this semester when all her friends move back home. She clearly still wants this to work just not right now. Love stinks.

[rosephase]

I agree with you when you say those things. As much denial that I'm currently in, it would be best to learn and move on. However, I feel as if we each deserve a second chance with each other. Our feelings both are still there, she's just been really stressed out and confused with life lately which is why she wanted time to herself. It didn't end how I thought it would end and that has me thinking that there's more this relationship, that we both are just taking time apart like we said. She also said maybe if it presents itself we can try again and see how we've progressed at the end of this semester when all her friends move back home. She clearly still wants this to work just not right now. Love stinks.

 

She doesn't clearly want it to work. If she clearly wanted it to work she would be with you. You want to be her partner only when she doesn't have more interesting people to be around? And what happens when they all move back for next year? Is she going to dump you again?

[HeartGoesOn]

My EX broke up with me to see what else is out there

^

The title of your thread (above) should tell you all you need to know. If she does come back, it will obviously be because she came up empty.

 

Does that sit well with you?

[thelogride]

Our relationship was dependent on each other and I now know that's not how it's supposed to be. We both made mistakes and that really meant a lot to her and she said nothing will change unless we do something about it. So, she said that we should see other people to see if we really do want each other. Now, working through problems together would've been much more preferred, but I'm sure she was wanting time away from me to see how she really feels. That's actually what she told me too. It's kind of like when people break up to make their relationship stronger in the future. Right person, wrong time. Those feelings will ALWAYS be there for the both of us and in given time we will mature enough and be ready to start something new. Definitely not go back to the old because clearly that didn't work.

[thelogride]

I don't necessarily think she's trying to find somebody better than me. She already knows how good I was to her and honestly there's no way she finds somebody else who will treat her the way she needs to be treated. We both said we should see other people because our relationship just wasn't going in the right direction at the moment. This doesn't mean that with time away from each other and no communication won't spark that relationship back in the right direction again. I understand we both are young, she's VERY VERY confused with life and what's answers to everything. When she doesn't get these life answers, she panics. She tends to overreact to everything and feels like she has to do something to feel like she's going somewhere. I really do know how stressed she is, she's lost 12 pounds once we broke up because she was sick and depressed about school. She has some anxiety issues or something in her head because she just doesn't think straight all the time and ALWAYS changes her mind about things. I feel that with time apart from each other, she will realize what I mean to her and what we had and how we really can work through anything together. We clearly lacked trust in the relationship and that's where it went wrong. After this time apart so far, I've already come to realize what made it go wrong and how we can make it better and I feel that's what this is all about.

[Imhurtagain]

You sound so sweet and hopeful. You deserve better than that. You shouldn't have to break something to fix it. That defeats the point really doesn't it? You need to give each other lots of space now and if in several, I mean several, months you both still feel like you should be together then maybe it will work. It's certainly happened before, but not very often. You have to give her that space she needs right now though. No contact at all.

[TheRawTruth]

You know what's crazy about this? I normally respond directly to the person posting their problem. But reading this post actually reminds me of something I wrote about a long time ago in my book. It's not EXACTLY your situation, but it's SO SIMILAR I can't help but share at least SOME of it with you, because it applies to your post. Plus it'll help you understand that YOU'RE NOT ALONE! This is VERY common. (Of course I'll still answer your very SPECIFIC question at the BOTTOM. I just wanted to share this first and you'll see why as you read it. Oh, and the part in RED is ALL YOU.)

 

If you’re a guy in your early 20’s, who’s dating a girl 17 or 18, thinking it’ll last, due to the love you two share, think again. The fact is, it MIGHT last, but many times, it won’t. I’m sure everything feels perfect at first. You’re happily in love, planning a future with her, she thinks you’re her dream man, you’ve been together for a couple of years, and everything seems to be going in the right direction. Things couldn’t be better. The problem occurs when the woman, nearing the end of her teenage years, begins to wonder what else is out there. (See why I said it sounds like you? Keep reading Logan.)

 

She’s been with you, but she hasn’t REALLY had a chance to experience LIFE yet. No longer is she so sure that she wants to be tied down to you so young. It’s NOT that she doesn’t LOVE you, but the LURE of EXCITEMENT is just so TEMPTING, that it’s pulling her AWAY from you. She wants to go out, she wants to party, drink, meet guys, go to the club, have sex, and experience things that most young women her age eventually want to experience.

 

The BAD part is, YOU ARE sure of what you want. YOU don’t NEED to "see what else is out there", because your GIRL is all that MATTERS to you. You two are in love, talking about your future together, maybe even getting engaged, so you’re not even THINKING about ending things due to some crazy desire to be single out of nowhere. YOU’RE thinking that all will go according to PLAN.

 

Unfortunately, that’s not normally the case. (You still reading Logan?) The sweet young girl you’ve been with since she was 15 or 16, is now on her way to college, being tempted by all kinds of wild things and people she’s being INTRODUCED to while THERE. It starts off with your girlfriend trying to balance both. She probably feels that she can have fun with her friends, WITHOUT affecting the relationship.

 

As time goes on, however, she’ll slip up. She’ll end up sleeping with a guy at a frat party, or she MIGHT even start LIKING some guy on CAMPUS. Then she’ll think “Uh oh. I made a mistake. What about my bf?” So, she’ll talk to you like things are normal, but the guilt will make her not want to talk to you as much. She won’t be available as much anymore, because she doesn’t know how to FACE you now, after the ONE slip up, OR, even WORSE, the NEW guy she’s met, and has recently become INTERESTED in.

 

She’ll apologize, of course, but the damage is still done. You’re hurt, you’re shocked, you’re devastated. Not expecting this recent turn of events to occur AT ALL. You’re in disbelief. After all, YOU two were supposed to be building a lifetime of loving memories, not pain & hurt. How could she DO this to you? How could it HAPPEN? How could she LET it happen? How could some “new guy” just come in between you guys, when your love was so strong? Well that’s just IT. Your love WASN’T so strong. Because when it was TESTED, it BROKE.

 

You two were on your way to having a LIFE together. And instead, a little distance, along with a woman’s curiosity, has led to a SPLIT between you two, that, at THIS point, your girl doesn’t even WANNA repair. (Not YET anyway. Maybe down the road.)

 

So now, your whole LIFE has been turned upside down. Meanwhile, your (now EX) girl is moving on with her young life, and will eventually be hurt by one of the guys she dumped you for. It’s a continuous cycle of vicious karma that will never end.

 

Now, back with me here Logan. Focus.

 

You already know now that begging her to stay and latching on when she said she wanted space was the WORST thing you could do, right? I saw you say that in your post, I just want to make SURE you know how bad that is. If a girl pulls back from you (because her feelings are changing, not because you did anything wrong) space is EXACTLY what you should give her. MAKE HER MISS YOU! Don't hold onto her leg for dear life as she walks down the street! That will have the OPPOSITE EFFECT! Obviously it's too late for all that NOW, so let me answer your final question...

 

"How can I get her back?" While there's no GUARANTEE you will get her back, you can better your chances by doing the following things:

 

1. Having an active social life. (Yes, having a life of your own will make you more attractive.)

 

2. Never asking about you guys getting back together. If she mentions it, just play it VERY cool. i.e. "I understand." or "Yeah if it's meant to happen, it'll happen. I'm not too worried about it anymore." (Yes, even though you can't IMAGINE SAYING those things, you NEED to, at this point.)

 

3. Do NOT feed into her games. The next time she snapchats something to you, 'LIKE' it. Or tell her it's cool/cute. Don't let her attempts to make you JEALOUS actually WORK!

 

4. Start hanging out with other girls. Yes. GET TO KNOW OTHER WOMEN. Even if your mind is still on Sydney, you have to remember, she's not trying to BE with you. So it is OK to get to know other girls in the meantime. You're single, and you have a life to live. If she questions you about it, be very vague. Or just say "Yeah, I guess we both found some cool people to talk to." (This way you aren't giving details about the nature of your relationships with these women.)

 

Eventually, you and Sydney might end up back together. But she's not gonna want you if you're playing the role of a puppy dog waiting outside her door. (Not unless this other guy breaks her heart and you're a REBOUND.) Make her prove herself to YOU next time. Good luck!

[thelogride]

This is almost perfect for my situation. Honestly and I mean HONESTLY... when Sydney decided we should break up, she said exactly that she's afraid of commitment at this young age and wants to see what else is out there FOR NOW. I don't know what the "for now" means. In her words, "I love you and I want to be with you but I just can't right now." Or she will say things like "I know we will get back together I just don't know when.." It's things like that that keep feeding me hope of a future with her and honestly, I know her well enough to know that she's ABSOLUTELY confused with life and waht's answers to things that she will probably never have answers to. We were each others first love and still are. We still love each other and I wouldn't be surprised if she still thinks about me everyday even though she's already moved on with someone else. Before long, she will realize how good I treated her and want it all back and be MORE MATURE for a serious relationship. She's approaching the end to her first year in college and maybe that will spark some revelation inside of her. I'd still do anything to have her back... I've been no contact with her for exactly a week now and ther's been nothing between us. The last time we talked, we were very mad at each other and said things we didn't mean and it just wasn't very pretty. I know she's not the perfect person and she didn't treat me like I deserved, but I love her enough to see past her flaws and would always be open to a second chance if she proved it. Just a few days ago she liked one of my tweets and then unliked it the next day. I don't know what that was about, but I'll take that as a sign that she's thinking of me. So, because of that, I blocked her on twitter because there's supposed to be no contact there. Hopefully that makes her curious and missing me. You simply don't go through a year and a half long SERIOUS relationship through one of the most challenging times of your life full of love and thoughts of engagement and spending almost every day together... to nothing at all. There's NO WAY in my mind that it'll remain like this where we become complete strangers. I know the feelings will always always be there and it's just for her to find out for herself. She did say that she still wants me she just needs to find out by taking time apart from each other and see other people because she doesn't want to miss anything or make a mistake. I don't know if that's something worth believing.... any thoughts on that??

[thelogride]

OKAY I have new information and I'm so confused and I just need some help. My ex and I haven't spoken for 10 days now. She's looked me up on social media and stuff and liked a tweet and later unliked it and that's whatever to me... BUT. Now I know she's actually in a confirmed sexual relationship with this new guy. She's already moving on SO FAST it doesn't even seem possible or healthy for her to do that. SOMEBODY PLEASE tell me how she's forgotten about me and already moved onto someone new and are already doing the things that our serious relationship consisted of?? There's no way this is right for her or makes her feel good about herself. This has to be a rebound right? Or maybe she just wants to be a hoe for a little while since she's in college. I have no clue but it brings so many emotions to me knowing she's with another guy. Advice PLEASE

[boltnrun]

She didn't "forget" you. She just chose to move on to someone else.

 

Look, I started dating someone else right away after deciding to stop seeing a guy I'd been dating for almost two years. I was so sick of him by the time I finally decided to walk away that it was easy to move on to the new guy. And I stayed with the new guy for four years.

 

Why are you calling her a "hoe"? Is she sleeping with the entire rugby team or something?

[thelogride]

Hoe may not be the right term. But throughout our entire relationship she was always saying it was only be and always going to be me while at the same time begging for attention from other guys. She clearly doesn't know what she wants and she has lots of growing up to do since she keeps talking to different guys for attention to be brought to her. Right once we broke up, she began a sexual relationship with this new guy. Is there not something wrong with that?? That looks so bad on her part and that's rushing things completely especially when she wasn't so sure of ending things with me anyways. I feel like an option to her looking back at it. I shouldn't have to be an option and neither should anyone else. She's immature and isn't ready for commitment because she has something wrong in her head that makes her want as much attention from everyone as possible. There's no way she lasts with this new guy because in a month he moves back home for 16 weeks and that's almost 4 hours away. She will get lonely and bored and most likely come knocking on my door seeking forgiveness yet again and claiming she changed her ways. I don't know how to describe the type of person that she is, but let me tell you, she's not a good person by any means.

[Wiseman2]

Didn't she break up because you cheated and then she slept with someone else so you both decided it's best not to be together. She''s probably had this guy lined up for a while.

[butterfly26]

Hi, I can't really offer much advice but I can offer support as I'm going through pretty much the exact same situation.

My ex boyfriend and I dated for 1.5 years , from November senior year till the end of February 2nd semester. Everything was amazing. I was his 1st while he was my 3rd. I've never had a relationship on a level like this. The connection was immediate and everything was about as easy as it could be (despite normal things). 1st semester for us went smoothly however. The distance was a little much (1.5 hour bus ride in between but we made it every week) but it wasn't intolerable. It was just a small inconveniance to get to spend precious time together.

Anyways 2nd semester is when things changed. Our schedules got a little busier but everything seemed fine. He's a reserved guy so he would get a tad bit less talkative every now and then. He was getting a little less talkative so I asked and he said he was "fine and not to worry". He was acting a tad bit strange I guess but midterms were appoaching so I though nothing of it. Then he broke up with me one afternoon over text, after we had spent the entire day together the day before. I was in shock. I called him and we kind of talked, mainly cried. I pleaded with him but he was set. We texted some since we couldnt speak. He was saying he needed experience and to live life and he just couldn't do it anymore. He felt like he couldn't put everything on the table and that he needed to learn how to love me right. Then he completely cut contact for a week. I went completely broke. Everything was perfect for me. And now he's saying he wants to maybe date others and get experience. Was I not experience enough?

I've been practically out of order since. I'm so depressed. We have a mutual best friend whos really helped me understand at first was going on. We started texting a bit but it was really cold. He first apologized and said he needed time. Then he was uncomfortable about talking normally (which I know I pushed there). A couple weeks later he called me. We talked and he explained some more (nothing on the exploring tho). He said he was having some small doubts and wanted to figure those out now rather than later and he was scared. We basically got out of that conversation is "not right now, lets look at it all later." Since then we've had some normal people conversations but not much. Our mutual friend keeps reassuring me he really cares about me and is also upset.

The thing that makes it similar is that I think his "experience" was already lined up. He's somehow connected and seeing a girl. I refuse to hear anything else but he started things the week after. I was so hurt. I also heard from someone that he brought a girl up to his room but I refuse to look into that. It's all speculation anyways. Either way, I feel your pain. It truly sucks. Just try to think of the moment she said she was done as the actual knife it felt like on a time line. What she did after that was in no connection with you. It doesn't make it okay or acceptable to do what she did. It's just one way to kind of give you peace. Just really stop looking into it, it only hurts the more you know. Plus the more you find out, if you end up reconciling, the more you will hold against her.

It's so hard and I don't know what to do. He was my true love. I was comfortable with the thought of marrying him one day. He's really trying to keep the door open and I do too. There wasn't anything really wrong in our relationship. Just timing I guess and him wanting to sow his oats or whatever. His feelings aren't gone completely. Hes obviously scared of commitment. He said if he stayed with me to the summer, he would've stayed regardless. I feel he just had these things he really needed to work through before he can commit. I mean I guess I rather him do this than cheat but it's basically the same.

I want to believe we'll get back together. Our connection was so strong. Our friend believes there's definitely a chance. Only time will tell, but it truly sucks in between that time.

[chitown9]

The relationship already failed, but does that not mean that we can't get back together someday maybe sooner than later? We were both each others first love and that's something that will never go away. I still feel like there's more to us than this.

 

We are not mind but I would not be pining for her, waiting for her to come back to you. chi

[TheRawTruth]

This is almost perfect for my situation. Honestly and I mean HONESTLY... when Sydney decided we should break up, she said exactly that she's afraid of commitment at this young age and wants to see what else is out there FOR NOW. I don't know what the "for now" means. In her words, "I love you and I want to be with you but I just can't right now." Or she will say things like "I know we will get back together I just don't know when.." It's things like that that keep feeding me hope of a future with her and honestly, I know her well enough to know that she's ABSOLUTELY confused with life and answers to things that she will probably never have answers to. We were each others first love and still are. We still love each other and I wouldn't be surprised if she still thinks about me everyday even though she's already moved on with someone else. Before long, she will realize how good I treated her and want it all back and be MORE MATURE for a serious relationship. She's approaching the end to her first year in college and maybe that will spark some revelation inside of her. I'd still do anything to have her back...

 

You simply don't go through a year and a half long SERIOUS relationship through one of the most challenging times of your life full of love and thoughts of engagement and spending almost every day together... to nothing at all. There's NO WAY in my mind that it'll remain like this where we become complete strangers. I know the feelings will always always be there and it's just for her to find out for herself. She did say that she still wants me she just needs to find out by taking time apart from each other and see other people because she doesn't want to miss anything or make a mistake. I don't know if that's something worth believing.... any thoughts on that??

 

OK. The pieces in BOLD here are actually contradictions. I'll explain

 

She's CERTAIN you two will get back together, right? That's what she says. Yet RIGHT AFTER THAT, she says "I just don't wanna take a chance of missing out on something, I need to see other people." Well what happens if one of those other people ends up being "the one" in her mind, like YOU were BEFORE? What if she falls in love with THAT guy like she did YOU? How can she "guarantee" you guys will link back up if she's hoping not to miss out on somebody ELSE? If you were truly "THE ONE" for her, she wouldn't worry about missing out on someone better, because there'd BE nobody better.

 

Think about it She's basically saying "Hey, I wanna break up so I can date someone else, get attached to him, get my heart broken, then end up with you AFTER all that." Really? Who leaves a happy relationship to get with a random guy, only to EVENTUALLY BREAK UP with him, JUST to get back with YOU, the guy she was with in the FIRST place? That makes no sense.

 

The ONLY WAY she could mean what she said about getting back with you EVENTUALLY, is if she FLAT OUT SAID: "Listen. I want to experience one night stands, threesomes, party nights where I don't have to avoid sleeping with a guy I'm attracted to if I don't want to (because I'm single instead of tied to you), etc. I want to know if other guys are better in bed. I wanna date. I can't do that while I'm with you. But once that stuff is ALL OUT OF MY SYSTEM, I wanna get back with you and have a GOOD life."

 

In other words "I know you're the good guy, and of course I'll want that when I'm 30 or 40. But for now I wanna have fun and date bad boys. I just need you to be there for me LATER in life once I'm all used up and emotionally damaged."