emie1987 Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Quick Backstory. When I met my BF (32M) I knew upfront that we was not my type. I (29F), let him know that, and we became friends. Eventually FWB and then he told me he loved me and wanted to see what a relationship would bring. We tried, failed, tried again, and failed and this cycle has lasted for about 6 years. However, I genuinely don't know if I can take it anymore or even have him as a solid partner for the rest of my life. I put together a pros and cons list, because this has been one of the hardest decisions I have had to made. I love him dearly, but find it hard to be with him and let him go fully. I am turning 30 this year, have made significant strides in my life, but find him stifled in his personal development. Pros -Supportive of me -We have fun together -Will do anything for me -Never gives up on us -Great sex/bedroom life -Has been there for me through hard time (father passing away) - Pays for dates even though I make more - Mr. Fix it - Tries to please everyone (this can be a pro and con) -Goofy -Genuine heart -Patient -Does sweet things like send daily messages, always professing love for me, etc… -We enjoy similar music Cons -We argue all the time -Toxic to each other – on and off again relationship for 5 years - He focuses on the past too much -Substance abuse (Alcohol, cigarettes, went to rehab once for opioids, but can’t shake having addition to something) -After 2 weeks of being together, I become easily annoyed by his bad habits -Doesn’t take care of himself (physically/mentally) – has lost teeth, doesn’t care to brush them every day - Bad with finances - Dishonest (Tells white lies because he doesn’t want to get “in-trouble” – I am not his mom) - His family is toxic – they don’t care to see him improve, taunt him with cigarettes, alcohol - Becomes clingy - Has stopped doing romantic things for me - He’s clinically depressed - He has used craigslist in the past to look for sex we weren’t together (just doesn’t sit well) - Does drugs occasionally (coke) - Not intellectual in the slightest- (can’t conceptualize much of anything/terrible grammar) - Can’t follow through on small promises - Curses, ad nauseum - I’m not confident he would make a good father - Doesn’t take life serious - Is stuck in his way, has trouble making positive changes for his life - When we lived together, I went crazy due to his bad habits now in my house (felt like I lost my sanity) – he has since moved out and I am much happier - He has no independence, always needs help/advice from me on finances, life choices - Never on time for anything - Has told me numerous times he wants to feel needed/perhaps insecure - Has trust issues with me - Manipulative What, if anything, does my list tell you? Sending love and good vibes to everyone struggling with matters of the heart. Link to comment
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