Beccamallory Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 My boyfriend has never done anything to disrespect me and we have been together for 5 years. Neither has his child's mother. Well they're going to their kids sporting event this weekend and I can't go due to work. Out of the whole 5 years it will be the longest time they will be together. My question is is it even though I'm probably just a jealous weirdo, do I have a right to think it's a little inappropriate for them to share a hotel room? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Miracle Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Definitely out of the ordinary when I think about most ex relationships.. But I suppose it really depends on their dynamic over the past however many years the child has been in their lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Will the kids be in the room? Is it an economy issue? (family package deal, etc.?) Yeah weird but if it's for economy and the kids are in the room it doesn't look like a romantic tryst, right? It completely depends on what's going on. It seems your relationship is fine and theirs is about the kids? they're going to their kids sporting event this weekend. think it's a little inappropriate for them to share a hotel room? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atlantis Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Woah I am a crazy jealous too. So i wouldnt be ok with that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betterwithout Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Surely the hotel has other rooms for him to stay separate? I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing a hotel room with an ex. I'd rather sleep next to the ice machine in the lobby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccamallory Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 To save money and Yes the children will be there they are teenagers. . I told him I wasn't comfortable and he says he will get a different room. Their relationship is weird I guess. They supposedly were just better off as friends and he says he doesn't think of me being uncomfortable because it's not weird to him or her since there's no feelings or anything. They've been broken up for 10 years and he's been dating me for the last 6. For some reason the thought of him spending nights in the same room as her makes me feel so crazy jealous that I'm not there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charity Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 I would have no problem doing this with my ex and kids BUT if I was in a relationship I would probably insist that he get another room.....just because, well... it looks bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 Ok great you discussed it and he sees it's strange so he fixed it. Now enjoy and relax and make the best of the space and missing each other. To be honest...if anything this time they need to spend for the kids will probably only remind him why he got divorced. I told him I wasn't comfortable and he says he will get a different room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccamallory Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 I just don't know why I always just think of the worst even though our relationship is good. Like maybe he will like his family back together like that again and kick me to the curb. Or lying about really getting his own room to shut me up even though they won't hook up. Everytime we have ever hung out or gone to kids things since I've been around, I've either always been there or shes had a boyfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charity Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 I suppose it's because they don't hate each other. Ex's getting along always scares people, plenty of threads on here about it. It's good that you expressed your discomfort and it's good that he listened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 It's inappropriate for them to share a room and it's inappropriate for both of them to share a room with teenagers as well. Nope, the normal thing is two exes split room then the teens of the same sex can share the room. And it's not about jealousy, it's about healthy, normal boundaries. I would never share a hotel room with any man, but my significant other, because why court trouble you don't have to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccamallory Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 Damn y'all are making me nervous. They both don't have enough money to dish out an extra room for the kids. She's a single mom and he is cheap. They're even driving together because it's 10 hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 I mean if you're dating him, I'd hope your standards are high enough where he's not going to cheat on his current wife in the same room his teens as well. It's not hard to find a room that comes with a fold out cot. I'd assume he'd take that, the mother the bed, and the teens sharing. Nothing about that sounds inappropriate to me, but to each his own if you do, I suppose. In any case, if he ended up getting another room, it sounds like you won the battle. All should be fine so long as you don't remain bitter despite it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccamallory Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 I know. I guess I'm just bitter too because they're driving together. I've never gotten to go anywhere far with him because of our jobs and dogs so I guess I'm just jealous about that too. I hate feeling like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccamallory Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 How do I shake this feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betterwithout Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 I know. I guess I'm just bitter too because they're driving together. I've never gotten to go anywhere far with him because of our jobs and dogs so I guess I'm just jealous about that too. I hate feeling like this. Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with them sharing a car ride together. (what can happen in a car, right?) Asking for him to drive in separate cars would be too much to ask. The hotel room is what isn't cool to share (shared bathroom, sleeping arrangements, etc) Regardless of your trust level while they are alone, sharing a hotel room with exes is awkward af. You probably have NOTHING to worry about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Focus on planning a nice get away for the two of you. I've never gotten to go anywhere far with him because of our jobs and dogs so I guess I'm just jealous about that too. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccamallory Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with them sharing a car ride together. (what can happen in a car, right?) Asking for him to drive in separate cars would be too much to ask. The hotel room is what isn't cool to share (shared bathroom, sleeping arrangements, etc) Regardless of your trust level while they are alone, sharing a hotel room with exes is awkward af. You probably have NOTHING to worry about. I agree it's not gonna keep me from going crazy thinking what if though. This weekend is gonna drag! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccamallory Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 Update: so they drove through the night and couldn't check in early so they had to get another hotel to sleep for a few hours. They stayed in the same room. He slept with his son and his ex with their daughter. Thoughts ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charity Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 In my opinion its's fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccamallory Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 I know it's fine too but please just bare with my paranoia. The whole 5 years we've been together I've never once been on this situation so though I'm trying hardest it still sucks. I don't even know how often is ok to call or text him because I don't want to seem annoying or clingy. I heard from him this morning but then What if I don't hear from him all day? Is a little text ok? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccamallory Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 Ps it's been almost 8 hours since I've heard from him so I caved and texted him how his day was going and he hasn't replied. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charity Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 You're counting the hours? He's at a family event. Leave him be and stop letting your paranoia run things. I honestly find it a sad thing to think that after 5 years of trust building and respect...it still results in this when something out of the ordinary occurs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 He's giving you the play by play because he cares and in a way knows it's odd and discomforting for you. It's a good sign.Update: so they drove through the night and couldn't check in early so they had to get another hotel to sleep for a few hours. They stayed in the same room. He slept with his son and his ex with their daughter. Thoughts ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccamallory Posted March 26, 2017 Author Share Posted March 26, 2017 I know it's just hard. I'm trying my damn hardest but paranoia is killing me. I just want to talk to him throughout his day like we normally do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.