EmmaLouAnn Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Me and my ex where together for three years almost in that time I grew close to his family and adored and loved them like my own. His mother was so sweet and his dad was everything I wanted my own to be. I seen them every week and they were always so I've we would gonot for meals together talk every night and just in general have so much fun together. Me and my ex split up almost a year ago now and we've remained friends kind of and we talk everyday and meet up every week and spend time together. His dad fell sick while we were together and we spent most nights in hospital next to his dad. When we split he would keep me in the loop about his dad he would go back and forth to hospital until he got seriously ill a few days ago my ex told me he was really bad and I told him I'll be there for him. After a tearful phone call my ex told me he feels like he has No one to talk too and told him it's not true he has me. Last night I got a text message from my ex telling me his dad had hours to live, I got upset on the phone and told him that I would come down to be there for him and he said that he would love that.. later on he told me not too as there was too many people around his dad and it's not going to be long... He kept me in the know telling me how he was through the night I text him telling him I was going to sleep as I had work in the morning but If anything changed to ring me and I'd answer anyways 4:36 in the morning I woke up to a text from my ex saying he was going to ring me.. he sent that at 3:36 and I'm guessing he didn't ring because I didn't answer. So I stayed up text him back to find out what was wrong only to be told this morning that his dad had passed away at 1am and he was at peace.. I never thought I'd get upset but I've been so upset and all I can think of is if I feel like this how does my ex and his mum feel... I've text him back sending my love and condolences and haven't heard anything back I don't want to intrude on such a tender time but I'm not sure what to do next... Any advice I was so close to his family and I feel like I've lost some part of my family too.. please don't be rude me and my ex get on really well and it's all still raw this.. I just need helpful advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 When my former father-in-law died, I cannot tell you how grateful I was that I was kept in the loop when it became apparent his cancer was inoperable, and it would only be a matter of a few days before he passed away. In fact, I'd planned to go down to visit the family anyway, but he died before I could make it and my visit turned out to be for the funeral. Don't berate yourself for being devastated at this bereavement. You had a relationship with your ex's parents which was entirely independent of the one with him, and you've just lost someone you loved. It will be very painful, and though you're not affected as directly as his family is, you have a right to grieve alongside them. (((HUGS))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Sorry to hear this. Give him space and time to grieve with his family. Keep in mind it's about him. Try to remain strong and not add to any stress with your own feelings. Wait for him to contact you and don't go there unless asked.Me and my ex split up almost a year ago now and we've remained friends kind of and we talk everyday and meet up every week and spend time together. I would come down to be there for him and he said that he would love that.. later on he told me not too. I've text him back sending my love and condolences and haven't heard anything back I don't want to intrude on such a tender time but I'm not sure what to do next... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 How would you handle this with any other close friend? I think you should give him a few days, then reach out and ask what you can do. Send a card to the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoobunnie Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Since you were close to the family, and even him about the family, I'd go to the wake. Pay your respects. That doesn't mean you're dating. That means you care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 I feel.. you've done what's needed.. you've responded. Do no more. The family now has to get ready for funeral.... mentally accept it all, etc. Loss is never easy Just be there.. as you are for when/.if he reaches out again. Do not hound him with msg's etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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