cvs Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 I was seeing this guy for a little while and I was really into him. In person, it's perfect we have a lot to talk about and I'm very comfortable with him. The last time I saw him was a few months ago I flew to go visit him in his city and he has since had to be away for work (long story but basically he is away for about 8 months out of the year) Since my visit, we've talked consistently less as expected, but I feel as though some things have gotten really skewed via text messages or classic cases of he said/she said between our mutual friends. I'm on vacation close to where he is for work and I texted him yesterday afternoon to see if he had a few hours free this week and would like to hang out. He didn't respond. I know he's very busy and sometimes he really does take like a full day to answer but idk what to text him as a follow up if I don't get a response soon. We have very VERY limited potential time together with his work schedule and the distance so I really want to see him while I'm here, but I'm annoyed he's not even taking time to text me back and am not sure how to approach it. He blatantly told me he'd love to see me again but his not responding makes me feel like thats not true. I'm sad Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 I wouldn't send another text. If he doesn't respond to the first one you sent letting him know you would be around his and like to see him, he is no longer interested he may have met someone else, long distance relationships are hard. I cannot tell you how many dates I've had when the guy said he would love to see me again but never followed up. It's pretty common. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Do you think he's seeing someone locally and that it could be awkward? Did you communicate beforehand that you were visiting and would like to meet up? Enjoy your vacation but don't rely on a guy you haven't seen in months. It sounds very casual like "if your ever in town call me". The last time I saw him was a few months ago I flew to go visit him in his city. I'm on vacation close to where he is for work and I texted him yesterday afternoon to see if he had a few hours free this week and would like to hang out. I really want to see him while I'm here, but I'm annoyed he's not even taking time to text me back and am not sure how to approach it. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 You're chasing and he's not chasing back. Spend your energy and attentions on someone where the feeling is mutual. This guy is not into you. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Doesn't sound like he is into you. Do not text again. I would move on from this one, he is a waste of time. Do you always do all the work when romantically involved? Link to comment
cvs Posted March 11, 2017 Author Share Posted March 11, 2017 No I don't think that he is seeing someone else steadily because he just got to the town that he's in less than a month ago. Prior to that, he was in another town. Not gonna go into what he does for work but it causes him to move around a lot and makes establishing a relationship very difficult. He also works 7 days a week, almost every week. Link to comment
cvs Posted March 11, 2017 Author Share Posted March 11, 2017 I do not think sending one text to casually hang out when we are in the same place is "chasing." Smh. You're chasing and he's not chasing back. Spend your energy and attentions on someone where the feeling is mutual. This guy is not into you. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 No I don't think that he is seeing someone else steadily because he just got to the town that he's in less than a month ago. Prior to that, he was in another town. Not gonna go into what he does for work but it causes him to move around a lot and makes establishing a relationship very difficult. He also works 7 days a week, almost every week. Then why don't you find someone available, and local. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 I do not think sending one text to casually hang out when we are in the same place is "chasing." Smh. Does he reach out to you? It sounds like you have not really communicated since you last saw one another? Plus, you traveled to him. Has he flown to you? Link to comment
SherrySher Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 What Holly said...if the answer is no..then yes, you are chasing....smh back Link to comment
cvs Posted March 11, 2017 Author Share Posted March 11, 2017 Yes we have communicated just not as regularly, which is expected. No I haven't invited him to visit me yet because I was in the process of moving and living in between apartments Does he reach out to you? It sounds like you have not really communicated since you last saw one another? Plus, you traveled to him. Has he flown to you? Link to comment
cvs Posted March 11, 2017 Author Share Posted March 11, 2017 "Chasing" because he invited me to visit to him so he could take me as his date to two weddings? K. Link to comment
cvs Posted March 11, 2017 Author Share Posted March 11, 2017 "Chasing" because he invited me to visit to him so he could take me as his date to two weddings? K. What Holly said...if the answer is no..then yes, you are chasing....smh back Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 I do not think sending one text to casually hang out when we are in the same place is "chasing." Smh. No it isn't but if you send another text, that could be considered chasing. Not that chasing is wrong, I chased my boyfriend but he responded and reciprocated, but I was the pursuer mostly. In your case, he is not responding to you or making any effort at all so if you send another text, it could be interpreted by him as desperate, as aggressive as I am I wouldn't do it, I'm sorry he just doesnt sound too interested. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 "Chasing" because he invited me to visit to him so he could take me as his date to two weddings? K. It should have been reciprocal. He should have come to visit you, too. Even if he had to stay in a hotel. Op, this sounds very one-sided, and that you have been chasing this guy. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 CVS, We are all saying the same thing, yet you are arguing with us. If you come to a public forum, you should be more open to the advice given. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Yes we have communicated just not as regularly, which is expected. No I haven't invited him to visit me yet because I was in the process of moving and living in between apartments Sounds like you are making excuses for him. Why is him not communicating to be expected? Because he is traveling? Um, no. If he were into you, he'd be communicating with you and he would have responded to your first txt. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 CVS, We are all saying the same thing, yet you are arguing with us. If you come to a public forum, you should be more open to the advice given. I think it's hard and hurtful when you are forced to acknowledge a man you like isn't into you. That's when the defensiveness kicks in, trying to rationalize it so we won't have to acknowledge that a guy isn't into it. Link to comment
Dahl Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 OP, why is your operative concern 'rudeness?' Are you feeling hostile about his disregarding you? I think that I'm missing something, is why I ask. Do you simply want to run him to ground or do you want to take him to task for his indifference? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Perhaps he's working and will contact you soon. If not then reconsider things with him.No I don't think that he is seeing someone else steadily because he just got to the town that he's in less than a month ago. Prior to that, he was in another town. Not gonna go into what he does for work but it causes him to move around a lot and makes establishing a relationship very difficult. He also works 7 days a week, almost every week. Link to comment
cvs Posted March 11, 2017 Author Share Posted March 11, 2017 OP, why is your operative concern 'rudeness?' Are you feeling hostile about his disregarding you? I think that I'm missing something, is why I ask. Do you simply want to run him to ground or do you want to take him to task for his indifference? Yes I'm feeling a bit annoyed because I haven't contacted him first in so long he could at least send me a courtesy response or excuse (although I noticed he is never on his phone when we're together and does sometimes take a while to respond) So if I were to double text him I wouldn't want to come across as rude, but still indicate I'm irked. I'm not sure what you're asking in the second half of this post. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 CVS, There is no future here. Let this go. I would be curious to know why you would involve yourself with a guy, who moves monthly and works seven days a week? I don't understand your choices?????? Link to comment
Dahl Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Yes I'm feeling a bit annoyed because I haven't contacted him first in so long he could at least send me a courtesy response or excuse (although I noticed he is never on his phone when we're together and does sometimes take a while to respond) So if I were to double text him I wouldn't want to come across as rude, but still indicate I'm irked. I'm not sure what you're asking in the second half of this post. Just that - you clarified it for me. Why not tell him essentially what you wrote above - it irks you not to receive a response, which temporarily, at least, stymied you in your plan making and you had expected the courtesy of a timely reply. I think that sounds reasonable and does not make you seem rude to me. Good luck. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Are you dating other men, or are you reserving yourself for this man? Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 He blatantly told me he'd love to see me again but his not responding makes me feel like thats not true. I'm sad I'm sorry. I know it sucks when a guy says he really likes you but his actions don't quite reflect it. Like the other posters here say, watch the feet, not the lips. If he's not making the plans to see you again, then I think it's because seeing you again is not a priority to him. Keep dating other men. When a guy is interested in you, you never feel like you have to remind him you're alive. They remember to text, even if it's just to wish you a good morning. Link to comment
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