Sex is horrible and I can't climax

[cpotts66]

So I have been with my fiancé for a year now. We both struggle with self-esteem issues due to us not being at the weight we want. I am a very sexual person but have never been able to cum during intercourse jut oral. Now with him it’s been never for either. Ok twice he has gotten me orally. But I just fake it. I came clean once about faking and swore I wouldn’t again but I could help it. So now I am back to faking it. It only feels good in doggy really and no other position. I love the man I do just sex is bad. I want him to be dominate and just tell me he wants it, but he doesn’t want to take advantage. So basically he just waits for me to tell him when I want it. I am even starting to watch porn more again and sending pictures to a friend of mine. I am that horny and not getting satisfied. The only way I climax is alone and using my rabbit. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions at all on how to fix this? Or is it hopeless?

[reinventmyself]

So I have been with my fiancé for a year now. We both struggle with self-esteem issues due to us not being at the weight we want. I am a very sexual person but have never been able to cum during intercourse jut oral. Now with him it’s been never for either. Ok twice he has gotten me orally. But I just fake it. I came clean once about faking and swore I wouldn’t again but I could help it. So now I am back to faking it. It only feels good in doggy really and no other position. I love the man I do just sex is bad. I want him to be dominate and just tell me he wants it, but he doesn’t want to take advantage. So basically he just waits for me to tell him when I want it. I am even starting to watch porn more again and sending pictures to a friend of mine. I am that horny and not getting satisfied. The only way I climax is alone and using my rabbit. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions at all on how to fix this? Or is it hopeless?

 

You either continue to communicate with him regarding your needs, except what you have or move on.

 

If he passively waits for you to initiate, I doubt that part will change much.

 

You state you have never been able to cum during intercourse. So. . how much of this is about him?

If you are successful with oral can you help him with what feels good to you?

 

You can trade this one in and end up with the same situation unless you address your part in this.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you can't change him, but you can get in better shape physically, if that's an issue.

I am even starting to watch porn more again and sending pictures to a friend of mine.The only way I climax is alone and using my rabbit.

[Boughtandpaidfor]

Perhaps you could forget about climaxing and enjoy the intimacy. It's could be about the journey instead of the destination. We are programmed to be goal-oriented.

 

If you are using the ability to climax to mean "I am good enough", it's a lot of pressure. Perhaps you can just enjoy being together. Then you never know what might happen.

 

Horniness can be a stress response- craving dopamine (which is what porn is for). But it can be harder and harder to get there (like a drug).

[j.man]

Can you not manage on top? Front or reverse? If it's something you can't manage even when you're in control, it may be genuine sexual incompatibility. Are you both fit? Have you tried putting the rabbit away for a bit? If you can't get yourself off without help, it'd stand to reason it might be a task for him to. Obviously there's no one size fits all solution here, but if there is no resolution, you have to consider some difficult options. Sexual compatibility matters and it's not fair to drag things on only to resent him more and more.

[limichelle]

Wait you have been sending pictures to a friend? I think that right there should tell you to move on and not string this guy along any further.

 

Lisa

[Dahl]

Wait you have been sending pictures to a friend?

 

 

 

Good looking out - I am also curious about this. Please elaborate, OP.

[cpotts66]

No I have never been able to climax during intercourse with any partner not just him. My thing is the sex to be honest sucks. And I can't not think about climaxing because if I don't then he feels he isn't good enough and has done something wrong. I only use the rabbit every now and then. Also he thinks he is getting me off but he isnt. I want to tell him but his esteem is so low it will kill him. And almost all men can get me through oral except him.