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I am utterly confused.


youngwoman

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I'm trying not to bring up the "what are we" conversation since we've only been hanging out for two weeks and I think it's much too soon to tell.

I know we at least both want a fwb and/or friendship that much I know...but then when he cuddles me while we are in public or on a walk, that makes me think he wants to be my boyfriend, too.

 

He's pretending like we never made out and continue to hang out as friends...which I like, it's just that it confuses me.

How can one night he is really affectionate toward me, but then turn around and pretend to be friends again?

 

I thought it would be awkward to hang out after that make out session, but luckily it wasn't.

I'm just confused how can he act like nothing ever happened.

 

We also don't have a private place to have a fwb, but I am glad he hasn't slept with me right away and doesn't just pick any random spot.

 

He was wanting to drink with me one night but I told him I can't drink since I have to drive. We'd have to get a hotel room so I don't have to drive...and I assume that's when the fwb situation will come out.

 

Well...we do have my car and he hasn't done anything in the car, either.

 

By just kissing me like that, does he want to date me, too?

I can't tell because I feel like he's all over the place.

 

If he just wants a fwb, he doesn't have to hang out with me like we're friends, but it feels like we're actually dating, but without the title.

 

I'm trying to go with the flow and see what situations we get ourselves into.

 

Has anyone else ever dealt with this being confusing before? One minute he is a pure friend, the next he's making out with me (with no sex or anything, just kissing) and then the next it's back to being pure friends. I just don't know how to read him.

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Wait. Do you have any say in the matter?

 

Yes, we did have the chance to actually do something at a random spot but I said no. I want to wait for a better spot and not just any spot. He would have done something if I said it was okay since we don't have any private area to hang out at and that was our one chance at a private area. We're waiting a better time.

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That's the conversation I'd want to have BEFORE getting sexual with someone.

 

Respect yourself.

 

I do respect myself, and he respects me also. He could have this be just a fwb, but I feel like he wants to be my boyfriend, too, just not right now so we are waiting to have sex when we could have done it already. I've told him I'd rather wait until I'm dating someone because I will care more about pleasing him or whoever. If I do it now and someone isn't my boyfriend, I'll be so-so about it and it'll be a waste.

 

 

He still hangs out with me despite not hooking up so he's not just in it for the sex at least that much I can tell without needing to ask him what this is. I feel like he wants a relationship also, but I'm not trying to pressure him and I like that he can still hang out with me even though I said no to sex right now. We both do want to hook up, just not right now.

 

Some guys I've met before him, if I said no to sex, they won't hang out with me as a friend at all. I'm just confused on how I should act after we kissed only because we're pretending like that never happened right now or should I say something about it or what...that part I am unsure of.

 

I'm trying to just let things happen at the right time, but at the same time it's bugging me how can one night he be really affectionate like that, then turn back around and be just friends like the kiss never happened.

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I do respect myself, and he respects me also. He could have this be just a fwb, but I feel like he wants to be my boyfriend, too, just not right now so we are waiting to have sex when we could have done it already. I've told him I'd rather wait until I'm dating someone because I will care more about pleasing him or whoever. If I do it now and someone isn't my boyfriend, I'll be so-so about it and it'll be a waste.

 

 

He still hangs out with me despite not hooking up so he's not just in it for the sex at least that much I can tell without needing to ask him what this is. I feel like he wants a relationship also, but I'm not trying to pressure him and I like that he can still hang out with me even though I said no to sex right now. We both do want to hook up, just not right now.

 

Some guys I've met before him, if I said no to sex, they won't hang out with me as a friend at all. I'm just confused on how I should act after we kissed only because we're pretending like that never happened right now or should I say something about it or what...that part I am unsure of.

 

I'm trying to just let things happen at the right time, but at the same time it's bugging me how can one night he be really affectionate like that, then turn back around and be just friends like the kiss never happened.

 

This says a lot about the kind of guys you associate with. Run away! Do not do FWB. Be friends with a guy and put the ball in his court as far as what he wants with you. Have some self-respect.

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This says a lot about the kind of guys you associate with. Run away! Do not do FWB. Be friends with a guy and put the ball in his court as far as what he wants with you. Have some self-respect.

 

Again, I do have self-respect. If I didn't, I would have just slept with the guy any chance we had and called it a day. That's what I'm doing right now, pretending like it never happened also and still hanging out with him as just friends. We've been alone in the car plenty of times, he hasn't kissed me again.

 

I wonder if he thinks I think lowly of him now that if I had said yes he would have done it with me in that crappy place. Luckily, we still hang out a lot because we like a lot of the same things. I'm waiting for him now to make another move. If not, I'm just still hanging out with him as friends.

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Why don't either of you have a place? Do you both live with your parents? Yep, there's always the car. Hotels are too expensive for a 22 y/o.

II told him I can't drink since I have to drive. We'd have to get a hotel room so I don't have to drive..Well...we do have my car and he hasn't done anything in the car, either.
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Wait!? You talk about what he does, what he wants and what he might do next.

What do you want?

You mention that if you told guys you didn't want to sleep with them they didn't want to be your friend so it sounds like you are navigating carefully this so he won't leave.

That is not a good enough reason.

If a guy just wants sex. .then he's not your friend. Period. You shouldn't want him around. Find other friends.

I suspect you would like a boyfriend. . no? Someone who treats you well, loves you for who you are and won't leave?

 

Then you respect yourself by stating what you want and what do not want. Let these guys move on and clear the way for a quality guy.

 

You are confused about his signals yet you aren't sure what you want.

Get clear on what you want first. Then proceed.

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