Do I need anger management?

[coolgirl]

Over the past 9 years I've never had 1 steady relationship. And after being hurt so many times by different people that were involved in my life sense 2009 I've never learned to come to grips with holding off my anger and basically being short-tempered. With me it's like a ticking time bomb not knowing what's going to set me off next. The guys I would get involved with was just nothing but sex and i got use to it nobody wanting me for me Which became a problem for me later on because sex became a habit for me for a month. Don't get me wrong I'm not the type of person to go sleep with random people.

 

I would end up being used by these men and find myself in hospitals with severe anxitey attack and depression every single time I would get involved. And this causes me to loose control full of anger and become very short tempered with anyone around me. which would drive me crazy to a point where it would take me 3 hours to calm down.

 

In 2010 I did seek thearpy for 4 years but not related to my anger and being short tempered with everyone. And again with the latest situation I got involved with I am back in therapy and taking meds again. If I even mention about killing myself or wanting to harm myself they well send me straight up to psych ward and I was there last year for a different situation.

 

I've been off medication for 8 months thinking that I would be fine. But now on meds now. Do I need anger management?

[Capricorn3]

I've never learned to come to grips with holding off my anger and basically being short-tempered. With me it's like a ticking time bomb not knowing what's going to set me off next.

 

And this causes me to loose control full of anger and become very short tempered with anyone around me. which would drive me crazy to a point where it would take me 3 hours to calm down.

 

Do I need anger management?

When I read the parts in bold, I would say yes.

[ShatteredMan]

Definitely.

[empath]

I don't know – is it really about 'managing' your anger or understanding the roots of it and trying to address it?

 

I'm a believer that all anger is ultimately rational. The irrational part may be misattributing the cause, at least partly – e.g., to the person who bumped into you or to the boyfriend who said something irritating. Those events might be obnoxious, but if you flip your lid, is it really wholly because of them? Or is there something that can be traced back in you?

 

An example in my life is that I was dumped about 6 weeks ago by a woman who proceeded to act pretty angrily, even though she was dumping me. The nicer I would be, the angrier she would get. It all seemed quite irrational. And it was hurtful, and I never was able to understand the roots (either immediate, or in her history) for that behavior, because she wouldn't really talk with me about her feelings beyond the shallowest level. And that was that, and I doubt I will ever hear from her again. While it was baffling, on some level it was clear to me that something deeper and something that had little specifically to do with me was going on. Yes, I think I had made her angry at times, and resentment had built – it's a long story, but for most people, they wold not have had that level of anger. My guess is that (like all of us) she had some fairly automatic reactions, e.g., toward men, that had formed in her mind and body when she was young that it was hard for her to even be aware of.

 

It's hard to tell from your message, but it seems like you weren't really happy with the situation with short-term, sex-focused, partners. Not only might that have frustrated you, but the issues with self-worth that it may have fed could have been quite upsetting – could have tapped some seriously deep stuff in you.

 

So, yes, I think seeking therapy again would be a good idea (not necessarily with the same therapist), but if anger is a concern for you, it should be something you actively discuss with her! Anger, I think, can be very useful, because it can point to very deep concerns in us and is hard to combat when it flares up... in other words, it's a good signal that can lead us places in our psyche.

[Liraele]

I agree with empath. It sounds like your anger and frustration are stemming more from other issues that need to be addressed. Anxiety and depression are scary things to live with, and getting help for those is a big step.

 

Definitely think you should bring this up (your concerns about needing anger management) with the person that's helping you with these two issues, and determine whether it's an issue that requires being addressed on its own, or if it's something you need to consider in treatments for the other things.

[RainyCoast]

i think it's a larger issue and your anger can't be taken out of context. i would ask your therapist, because they surely are aware it's part of your symptomatic picture. if you have an official diagnosis, anger outbursts are probably common with it, or if they notice symptom clusters where affect disregulation isn't uncommon, they surely don't plan to leave it unaddressed, especially if you tell them it's currently an acute symptom. however, i don't think it's wrong to take up anger management as adjunctive therapy.

 

if you have suicidal thoughts please don't hide them from your T to avoid hospitalization. i understand you don't want to go back to the psych ward, but people who spent difficult months there will claim in retrospect it was necessary and life saving.

[coolgirl]

Capricorn3 & ShatteredMan, I was seeking individual therapy with the same therapist I was seeing with her but because she does not take insurance. During the session individual sessions I had with her she did not mention anything to me about anger management or suggesting to go to one at all. She's from the same culture I am and she's just to mellow. She's someone that's calm and speaks softly and I cant stand being around these type of people. And I prefer to be around someone that can push me and she hasn't. Because it has been 8 months that I did not get the proper help or be on any type of meds I had no choice to call her up because I don't know of anyone. I've done my researches too calling my insurance company but I haven't gotten lucky with that either. So I called her up telling her that look I'm not doing good. I need medication. She told me to come to the place she works and we will sit down and talk so I went and both of us decided to get me into group therapy as an outpatient and see the doctor for medication. So I've been going to group therapy even though I'm not benefiting from it I still need some sort of medication in my system and the nurse will help me trying to find a therapist for one on one. So far I've been gong to see her for 8 days in group therapy but for the time being I have to put up with it. Because I don't know of anyone or where to go anymore.

 

[coolgirl]

I don't know – is it really about 'managing' your anger or understanding the roots of it and trying to address it?

 

 

I'm a believer that all anger is ultimately rational. The irrational part may be misattributing the cause, at least partly – e.g., to the person who bumped into you or to the boyfriend who said something irritating. Those events might be obnoxious, but if you flip your lid, is it really wholly because of them? Or is there something that can be traced back in you?

 

An example in my life is that I was dumped about 6 weeks ago by a woman who proceeded to act pretty angrily, even though she was dumping me. The nicer I would be, the angrier she would get. It all seemed quite irrational. And it was hurtful, and I never was able to understand the roots (either immediate, or in her history) for that behavior, because she wouldn't really talk with me about her feelings beyond the shallowest level. And that was that, and I doubt I will ever hear from her again. While it was baffling, on some level it was clear to me that something deeper and something that had little specifically to do with me was going on. Yes, I think I had made her angry at times, and resentment had built – it's a long story, but for most people, they wold not have had that level of anger. My guess is that (like all of us) she had some fairly automatic reactions, e.g., toward men, that had formed in her mind and body when she was young that it was hard for her to even be aware of.

 

It's hard to tell from your message, but it seems like you weren't really happy with the situation with short-term, sex-focused, partners. Not only might that have frustrated you, but the issues with self-worth that it may have fed could have been quite upsetting – could have tapped some seriously deep stuff in you.

 

So, yes, I think seeking therapy again would be a good idea (not necessarily with the same therapist), but if anger is a concern for you, it should be something you actively discuss with her! Anger, I think, can be very useful, because it can point to very deep concerns in us and is hard to combat when it flares up... in other words, it's a good signal that can lead us places in our psyche.

 

 

I don't cope and manage my anger very well. When I don't manage it gets to a point where its damaging me in my mental health state of mind and cry uncontrollably which takes me hours to calm down and if I can't I end up in the hospital fighting the anxitey off. If I could had I would had. We have talked about anger in group therapy a couple of times and people do share on how they deal with their anger but it's not helpfull for me. The problem with me is that I take problems hard and can't seem to comprehend anything which irritates the hell out of me and wont let a problem go for sometime and when I do I just tend to put it on the back burner and deal with it later. For instance my mom's on my a...... a couple of times to go visit my grandmother in the nursing home before she heads back to her home country. Every time, I'm like later. I don't feel like it or I'm to tired so I do come up with excuses. And then I get into it with her to leave me the hell alone. And don't tell me what to do. I don't even like the old lady let alone being in a room with her for even a second or 2. If I go to see her either or go with my mother herself or if my siblings are here. I'm already sleep deprived. I literally wouldn't care if she dropped dead tomorrow. I don't mean to sound cruel. When my aunt passed away back in November I just didn't feel anything. I couldn't. Even when everyone was crying I couldn't. Little things like these irritate the hell out of me and I literally loose it. Like I said its a matter of time with me that sets me off.

 

No, its not because of him its when someone pushes my buttons either him or someone else over and over and over again till I explode. I tell myself one time is okay I let it go two times I tell him stop but when he's not thinking rationally and pushes my button more over the same thing thats when I flip getting nervous and anxious and anxitey kicks in. He went off on me last week for the 3rd time yelling at me when I told him I'm here when ever you need me and he went off the rail. He has his own health issues I have my own issues I'm dealing with now were not on speaking terms. It's just not about one situation. These type of things has happened so many times over the past 9 years. So I try not to deal or cope with. I just leave it the hell alone.

[Wiseman2]

Probably not as a separate treatment or stand alone issue. It's best to get the best medication regimen that works and therapy that you feel confident with. Anger can be a symptom of mood disorders and insufficient coping and relaxation skills. Also try other things like exercise, yoga, art classes, etc and things that you find soothing and relaxing.

I've never learned to come to grips with holding off my anger and basically being short-tempered. With me it's like a ticking time bomb not knowing what's going to set me off next. I've been off medication for 8 months thinking that I would be fine. But now on meds now. Do I need anger management?

[empath]

Just to be clear, I do think if you're feeling anger a lot it's something to be addressed. I just don't think it's merely a 'management' issue. It seems deeper than that.

 

What you're describing sounds like profound mental illness. (I don't mean that in a derogatory way, believe me! Mental illness is in my family.) But clearly you know that and have sought help for it. Maybe it's not the right help, so you need to keep searching.

 

It's not even remotely possible for any of us, even if we were professionals in the mental health field, to diagnose you in this venue. All I can say is that your symptoms seem profound, and possibly yes, medications again, for the time being, would be helpful. The way you are describing your symptoms indicate someone in extreme distress, so I feel like you need (more) help at the moment. An anger management (class? if that's what you're thinking) will not address what sound like deep-rooted issues. Obviously, if you feel like you're going to lose it constantly, there are cognitive-behavioral strategies to get you through those times that would probably be helpful – in addition to looking at your medication and (more deeply exploring) talk therapy options.

 

If it helps at all, for the time being, vent your anger on here! Create a thread about a particular thing and get it out. Whatever helps you in that moment.

[Batya33]

How is your diet and sleep schedule ? That can certainly increase the anger issue. I agree with consulting your therapist.

[Capricorn3]

Have you ever mentioned the anger issues specifically to any therapist?

[coolgirl]

No, I never did. Ever sense I started group therapy 8 days ago I've mentioned it twice but it's not individual therapy. She's like this is what you need to do and doesn't get into the root of the problem. I need to be taught not like do this or do that I have hard time comprehending information. And I literally have hard time doing just that when so many things are running in my head. She tries but can never get through to me. Honestly I can't stand being there but for now I have to because I need the meds.

 

QUOTE=Capricorn3;6759131]Have you ever mentioned the anger issues specifically to any therapist?

[coolgirl]

How is your diet and sleep schedule ? That can certainly increase the anger issue. I agree with consulting your therapist.

 

I overeat when I'm struggling and stressed. I've been having problems with my sleep for 11 years.

[coolgirl]

I agree with empath. It sounds like your anger and frustration are stemming more from other issues that need to be addressed. Anxiety and depression are scary things to live with, and getting help for those is a big step.

 

Definitely think you should bring this up (your concerns about needing anger management) with the person that's helping you with these two issues, and determine whether it's an issue that requires being addressed on its own, or if it's something you need to consider in treatments for the other things.

 

I don't trust her or her judgment. The reason I reached out to her because I did not know who to go to or where to go too. I was in real bad shape last week and she was the only one I knew. I saw her individually as well last year as well and when I told her about my history of my marriage falling apart 9 years ago when I told her I have a history of suicidal ideation based on that I was sent to psych ward something that happened 9 years ago. Look how stupid she is. For now I'm putting up with her and her shenanigans for the time being. Even though i dont want to participate in these group crap I have too and get the referrals I need and get the hell out of there. Her d.....a...... boyfriend use to be a mutual friend of mine which is a mutual friend of my boyfriend as well. I had an argument with him too. And when I told her that he's a piece garbage she basically took his side than mine. And now I'm suffering because of his stupidity of ever introducing me to his friend that lead me on for 3 weeks that has big health issues. Here i am going through my own personal problems, dealing with my boyfriends personal problems, and arguing with him for 2 weeks and look where it has gotten me. And now we're not talking and basically left me hanging after picking a fight with me last week which ended up in a yelling match with me. Blamed me for ever talking to that bas.....of a friend of his when I told him we haven't spoken after our fight. Because he told me his friend called him asking if he and I were still together. I lost it myself. I have a idiot for a therapist, a sick and twisted ex friend, and a psychotic ex and you wonder why I have so many anger issues and other problems in life. My life has been nothing but full of drama sense last year and you wonder why I'm a clicking time fixing to go off any minute. This isn't something I asked for. I could just punch all 3 of these idiots. If I could i would had. And you wonder why I haven't coped.

[coolgirl]

I am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 with high level anxiety and depression i think with mania or manic episodes. I can't have stress in my life. The last episode I had was 3 weeks ago which I was really really had a lot of high energy. And this week has really hit me hard by coming way down alot. And having a hard time managing that. I don't know if that was mania or manic. I can't tell the differences between these 2.

 

When ever you get a chance please do read what I wrote for Liraele on the last page. I'm not suicidal but I have nothing to live for or look forward too.

 

 

 

i think it's a larger issue and your anger can't be taken out of context. i would ask your therapist, because they surely are aware it's part of your symptomatic picture. if you have an official diagnosis, anger outbursts are probably common with it, or if they notice symptom clusters where affect disregulation isn't uncommon, they surely don't plan to leave it unaddressed, especially if you tell them it's currently an acute symptom. however, i don't think it's wrong to take up anger management as adjunctive therapy.

 

if you have suicidal thoughts please don't hide them from your T to avoid hospitalization. i understand you don't want to go back to the psych ward, but people who spent difficult months there will claim in retrospect it was necessary and life saving.

[coolgirl]

How am I suppose to when I'm not even motivated enough and feel the way I'm feeling. I'm exhausted and tired.

 

Probably not as a separate treatment or stand alone issue. It's best to get the best medication regimen that works and therapy that you feel confident with. Anger can be a symptom of mood disorders and insufficient coping and relaxation skills. Also try other things like exercise, yoga, art classes, etc and things that you find soothing and relaxing.

[coolgirl]

Thank you empath. I don't know what to search for anymore. Therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist. I'm just lost right now. I'm tired, exhausted, in so much pain due to my anxitey. The other struggle I'm dealing with is my parents. My father is like you don't need medication, I thought you were doing fine. And my stupid therapist is like let me talk to him. I wanted to tell her stay the hell out of it. I said no its not necessary I'm not putting them through that again. With my mother we get along for the time being we don't have the best relationship. We don't see eye to eye on anything. My sibilings no. My sister is concentrating on her studies we get along but don't have the best relationship, my brother has his own thing going on. I have a best friend she's married and now expecting her first child so I don't want to overload her. She's like my sister. We pretty much talk everyday. But she doesn't live here. So I pretty much have no one here and don't want to be around people anymore.

 

 

Just to be clear, I do think if you're feeling anger a lot it's something to be addressed. I just don't think it's merely a 'management' issue. It seems deeper than that.

 

What you're describing sounds like profound mental illness. (I don't mean that in a derogatory way, believe me! Mental illness is in my family.) But clearly you know that and have sought help for it. Maybe it's not the right help, so you need to keep searching.

 

It's not even remotely possible for any of us, even if we were professionals in the mental health field, to diagnose you in this venue. All I can say is that your symptoms seem profound, and possibly yes, medications again, for the time being, would be helpful. The way you are describing your symptoms indicate someone in extreme distress, so I feel like you need (more) help at the moment. An anger management (class? if that's what you're thinking) will not address what sound like deep-rooted issues. Obviously, if you feel like you're going to lose it constantly, there are cognitive-behavioral strategies to get you through those times that would probably be helpful – in addition to looking at your medication and (more deeply exploring) talk therapy options.

 

If it helps at all, for the time being, vent your anger on here! Create a thread about a particular thing and get it out. Whatever helps you in that moment.

[Batya33]

I overeat when I'm struggling and stressed. I've been having problems with my sleep for 11 years.

 

Yes and I think your diet/sleep habits play a big part in your short temper -start more simply IMO and tackle things you can control and work on.

[RainyCoast]

this makes me so sad, that you have to deal with this.

 

thank you providing additional information. yes, irritability and anger are present in bipolar 1. from the sounds of it you had at least a hypomanic episode, if not manic. from what i understand the nurse will try to get you on meds, right? did they order labwork? sometimes they'll want to check your norepinephrine, MHPG, S-HIAA, before they decide on a drug and dosage suitable for you, so i would trust the process.

 

there can be some paranoid ideation present during episodes. has it crossed your mind you may be overly distrustful at this moment? please don't misunderstand, i am not saying that you are imagining things at all, i am saying that precisely because you already have reason to be distrustful of someone, that may make you distrust them even more. perhaps your therapist's decision to send you to group therapy isn't a bad idea. i gather that you don't like it right now, but you're feeling so down-- would you honestly like anything right now? my guess is anything would feel "stupid #$&&$ing cr#p", at least it would to me in your shoes. maybe just persevere and see how you feel in a while. keep in mind any treatment will take time to work. you also had a disagreement with T so she probably decided it would be best for now if the majority of your treatment and support came from someone other than her. i understand why she would irk you so much tbh. if i felt someone's boyfriend was involved in my misfortune, that could make trusting they have a professional relationship and establishing a therapeutic alliance impossible for me. if you tell the nurse there is a personal situation causing you therapeutic resistance and you'd like information on other therapists, would she suggest someone? are there very few therapists in your area? you have time to make that call, wait for the meds and try the group, even if it feels wrong for a while. try not to rush anything now.

 

will you be getting a new psychiatric consultation?

 

 

i agree that there are times exercise and fun will not be on your agenda. in depressive periods, when having a pulse and being alive feels too much, it doesn't interest one to get their blood flowing, and they may legitimately not have the energy, especially if sleep deprived. does she teach you techniques to calm your mind and get yourself to sleep? you can look them up online, but it's usually best to have someone show you in practice. when you get your medication you should be able to sleep as well, and returning to baseline after something upsetting will be easier. exercise will be easier too. i have to second batya that sleep deprivation is a HUGE contributing factor in irritability and mood disregulation. in healthy people as well. it literally prevents your frontal cortex from exercising the same control over your behavior as when you're rested. a lot of troubles may considerably lessen when you've finally rested like a human. i would consider looking into weighed blankets (esp if you have racing thoughts at night, anxiety, feel scared and unsafe), or homeopathic remedies (nothing wrong with getting to sleep with a little placebo effect), even guided meditations if that's your thing, or ASMR relaxation on youtube even.

 

i would strongly encourage you to write, and talk, about anything and everything you're feeling, leaving out any information you're not comfortable disclosing. i have a feeling your past haunts you from the inside, losses and neglect refuse to be silenced, and every time i read your posts i get the feeling that you are so profoundly afraid that my own insides twist as if i were in danger. it would be relieving if you could work through some of that (or anything else it might be. i am aware i could just be projecting my own feelings). as long as you don't disown your misfortune,and dis identify from it, it will demand to be addressed- at night, in relationships, everywhere.

 

i've read many of your threads. i can't help sensing a very good person behind the screen, and one feeling terribly unsupported, looking to provide for others what she herself needs. i hope that you stick with the current therapeutic options, and that despite your exhaustion you can gather the strength to research and try additional ones, if this doesn't help. if you want to vent or talk or ramble or anything that helps at least somewhat, please do. let us know how else we can be supportive.

 

is the financial side of treatment a set back for you btw? not asking to be nosy but because i may have an idea or two how you can get it nevertheless. i would hate to see you not getting help for that reason.

[RainyCoast]

I don't know what to search for anymore. Therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist.

any of those sound good! psychoeducation and cognitive-behavioural therapies combined with meds are the norm for bipolar. you can even try systemic therapy to help with the family issues, i mean alone, it doesn't require their presence. systemic therapists have awesome practical tips on how to manage when your family is dysfunctional.

 

i might also talk to my MD about any potential physical issues. if by overheating you mean you get a temperature, then mention that too. while you can definitely get it from stress alone, it's possible there is another cause as well. if you feel inflammation or similar, it takes a simple test to check your inflammation markers. sometimes occult infections go undiagnosed for years, and they can contribute to mood problems, cognitive problems, and chronic insomnia. a dental scan, if you haven't had one in a while, and mention any potential history of tick bites.

[RainyCoast]

oh, hey- please don't feel obliged, but if you feel like it, would you elaborate and clarify this a little? i am not understanding where she isn't helpful exactly. that is, i can't make out whether you're bothered that the suggested solutions are superficial whereas you'd like to get to the root of your anger, or whether it's the opposite and you'd appreciate tips to manage your anger for now, until you can get to the root of it.

She's like this is what you need to do and doesn't get into the root of the problem. I need to be taught not like do this or do that I have hard time comprehending information. And I literally have hard time doing just that when so many things are running in my head. She tries but can never get through to me.

 

i seem to understand you feel the first to be the case. group therapy for a mood problem unfortunately doesn't get to the bottom of it, it's just to teach you healthy coping mechanisms so that your anger causes you minimal problems until you can get in-depth therapy. it's like a tool-box of healthier options for when you feel your resentment boiling and you'd usually snap at that point, but the group is supposed to teach you responses that'll be less damaging. like pain meds to treat the pain, but you'd need a different approach to do away with the cause of the pain. if you can't get an rx without participating, definitely at least attend for that reason. the coping skills may not work for you now, but sometimes months later you find a new use for them. i'm certain they're planning to arrange for actual treatment, coping skills are just to help you manage until then.

[coolgirl]

Sorry, for the late reply. No I did not get lab work because I am an outpatient not an inpatient. Well, the doctor herself is trying to adjust my medication and I've only seen her twice so far. What is paranoid ideation? I've done group therapy before at another location by the same therapist I was seeing individually last year. It did not benefit me at all. I know it takes time. I know because I've experienced ir before, this is not my first time. Yea, I am in the process of trying to find someone that is not from my same culture. The nurse is trying to help me find outside help for me. I am also looking for a new psychiatrist. She does tell me to change my sleep patterns but I don't like to be told what to do, I'll do it when I'm ready on my own. No, financial I'm not struggling because I do have insurance. Thank you so much for your help and support I will update you on if anything comes up.

 

 

 

this makes me so sad, that you have to deal with this.

 

thank you providing additional information. yes, irritability and anger are present in bipolar 1. from the sounds of it you had at least a hypomanic episode, if not manic. from what i understand the nurse will try to get you on meds, right? did they order labwork? sometimes they'll want to check your norepinephrine, MHPG, S-HIAA, before they decide on a drug and dosage suitable for you, so i would trust the process.

 

there can be some paranoid ideation present during episodes. has it crossed your mind you may be overly distrustful at this moment? please don't misunderstand, i am not saying that you are imagining things at all, i am saying that precisely because you already have reason to be distrustful of someone, that may make you distrust them even more. perhaps your therapist's decision to send you to group therapy isn't a bad idea. i gather that you don't like it right now, but you're feeling so down-- would you honestly like anything right now? my guess is anything would feel "stupid #$&&$ing cr#p", at least it would to me in your shoes. maybe just persevere and see how you feel in a while. keep in mind any treatment will take time to work. you also had a disagreement with T so she probably decided it would be best for now if the majority of your treatment and support came from someone other than her. i understand why she would irk you so much tbh. if i felt someone's boyfriend was involved in my misfortune, that could make trusting they have a professional relationship and establishing a therapeutic alliance impossible for me. if you tell the nurse there is a personal situation causing you therapeutic resistance and you'd like information on other therapists, would she suggest someone? are there very few therapists in your area? you have time to make that call, wait for the meds and try the group, even if it feels wrong for a while. try not to rush anything now.

 

will you be getting a new psychiatric consultation?

 

 

i agree that there are times exercise and fun will not be on your agenda. in depressive periods, when having a pulse and being alive feels too much, it doesn't interest one to get their blood flowing, and they may legitimately not have the energy, especially if sleep deprived. does she teach you techniques to calm your mind and get yourself to sleep? you can look them up online, but it's usually best to have someone show you in practice. when you get your medication you should be able to sleep as well, and returning to baseline after something upsetting will be easier. exercise will be easier too. i have to second batya that sleep deprivation is a HUGE contributing factor in irritability and mood disregulation. in healthy people as well. it literally prevents your frontal cortex from exercising the same control over your behavior as when you're rested. a lot of troubles may considerably lessen when you've finally rested like a human. i would consider looking into weighed blankets (esp if you have racing thoughts at night, anxiety, feel scared and unsafe), or homeopathic remedies (nothing wrong with getting to sleep with a little placebo effect), even guided meditations if that's your thing, or ASMR relaxation on youtube even.

 

i would strongly encourage you to write, and talk, about anything and everything you're feeling, leaving out any information you're not comfortable disclosing. i have a feeling your past haunts you from the inside, losses and neglect refuse to be silenced, and every time i read your posts i get the feeling that you are so profoundly afraid that my own insides twist as if i were in danger. it would be relieving if you could work through some of that (or anything else it might be. i am aware i could just be projecting my own feelings). as long as you don't disown your misfortune,and dis identify from it, it will demand to be addressed- at night, in relationships, everywhere.

 

i've read many of your threads. i can't help sensing a very good person behind the screen, and one feeling terribly unsupported, looking to provide for others what she herself needs. i hope that you stick with the current therapeutic options, and that despite your exhaustion you can gather the strength to research and try additional ones, if this doesn't help. if you want to vent or talk or ramble or anything that helps at least somewhat, please do. let us know how else we can be supportive.

 

is the financial side of treatment a set back for you btw? not asking to be nosy but because i may have an idea or two how you can get it nevertheless. i would hate to see you not getting help for that reason.

[Wiseman2]

In the manic phase anger, defiance and not taking meds or following treatment is common.

 

Of course insomnia is a problem in itself but it further drives the mania, so lifestyle management is also recommended.

 

Read up on some of the complications driving all of this: She does tell me to change my sleep patterns but I don't like to be told what to do, I'll do it when I'm ready on my own."Not only are sleep disturbances symptomatic of bipolar disorder; many researchers have noted that bouts of insomnia are also triggers of both manic and depressive episodes.

 

Up to 60% of bipolar sufferers report some sort of sleep disturbance directly prior to a manic episode; the inability to get a sufficient amount of rest can result in hormonal and neurotransmitter changes that perpetuate the cycle of mania, depression, and insomnia.

 

To understand why this happens, it is helpful to understand the basic mechanism of sleep and how it is affected by the abnormalities present in patients with bipolar disorder."

[coolgirl]

All through out my life I've had a learning disability through elementary school, middle school and high school and through out college. Information that is or was given to me throughout my whole life even school I could never get. Until it's repeated to me numerous times. I have a hard time getting information that is given to me. I literally can't get it. And when I can't get the information that is given to me I get too frustrated. Numerous of examples last time I went back to college was 3 years ago. Ever sense I started the class I failed every test, quiz, homework you name it even though my father worked with me I still failed. Every relationship I have gotten into had always lasted not more than a week or 2 it always starts out with the lovy dovey crap once I'm in it the emotional abuse starts with the yelling and arguing that's when my episodes start with the last one that just ended my episodes lasted for 3 days. When I'm firm with the person I'm with I'm really firm and speak up and don't hold back but then I give that person a benefit of the doubt that maybe there not horrible and let my gaurd down when I do that's when the advantage starts by sleeping with me walk away as if nothing happened and I end up being miserable at the end just like the situation I was in. And I told the person upfront about my condition. But decided to resume with me anyway. With work last time I worked was 3 years ago. I only lasted a month the 2nd job only a week so I'm afraid to do that again and not be able to hold it down. I'm just in it because I need the meds. So for now I'm putting up with her.

 

oh, hey- please don't feel obliged, but if you feel like it, would you elaborate and clarify this a little? i am not understanding where she isn't helpful exactly. that is, i can't make out whether you're bothered that the suggested solutions are superficial whereas you'd like to get to the root of your anger, or whether it's the opposite and you'd appreciate tips to manage your anger for now, until you can get to the root of it.

 

i seem to understand you feel the first to be the case. group therapy for a mood problem unfortunately doesn't get to the bottom of it, it's just to teach you healthy coping mechanisms so that your anger causes you minimal problems until you can get in-depth therapy. it's like a tool-box of healthier options for when you feel your resentment boiling and you'd usually snap at that point, but the group is supposed to teach you responses that'll be less damaging. like pain meds to treat the pain, but you'd need a different approach to do away with the cause of the pain. if you can't get an rx without participating, definitely at least attend for that reason. the coping skills may not work for you now, but sometimes months later you find a new use for them. i'm certain they're planning to arrange for actual treatment, coping skills are just to help you manage until then.